WASHINGTON—Racking their brains as they tried to determine the express purpose of the homeland security secretary’s outfit, sources confirmed Monday they were not sure why Kristi Noem was wearing a firefighter helmet, night-vision goggles, high heels, and a wet suit. “Huh, that’s odd, but there must be some kind of reason for it, right?” said […]
Wait…what?
Probably some announcement on a loop that they usually have at airports about what to do at security. Although I have no idea why the Secretary of Homeland Security would need to be on one of those videos, or what she would even be saying. Probably something fascist.
…something something Big Brother.