Reported: “I’m in this picture and I don’t like it”
I don’t know if it helps, but this is not really a lie, and you shouldn’t feel bad about saying it. You have your own reason for not being able to do something you committed to. Someone else might have a different reason that is equally personal that they don’t want to share. “I forgot and I’m sorry” is a socially acceptable way to take responsibility without sharing specifics and potentially making someone else feel confusion or pity.
You can still work on the “why wasn’t I able to do the thing I felt I needed to do” without worrying about “why wasn’t I honest about my reason”.
Just my two cents though.
Sorry but the anxiety that accompanies my add says that your two cents are good in all cases but mine because my contacts will both know I’m lying and care deeply
Yours too?!?
Contacts are the worst.
Yeah! Duck contacts! Let’s put our phones on silent under the pile of unopened mail! I’ll never find mine there
Why are you looking through my windows at my piles of important mail I’m going to sort through and shred in 6 months? Get off my lawn!
imma need these ADHD memes to stop being so relatable. Getting nervous over here
I know right. At least I know I’m in good company.
I’m really liking the posts along these lines because there’s so much associated with ADHD that I haven’t been aware was part of it and it’s so accuratly described here. There’s kind of this sense of living like a double agent or something, except in that scenario the person knows what it is they’re hiding. I’ve gone through life having unconsciously learned that the actual reasons I do things aren’t acceptable or at least not explainable so I’m always having to improvise something more plausible or different. It’s sorta like lying, but not exactly, but there’s the ever present fear that I’ll be exposed for… something.
I almost feel like this life time of training would actually have helped me really be a secret agent if only all the other symptoms of ADHD weren’t completely debilitating and would sabotage such work terribly.
It’s sorta like lying, but not exactly, but there’s the ever present fear that I’ll be exposed for… something.
I think what you’re looking for is “masking.”
Holy fuck, get out of my head
Decades with no idea I wasn’t alone and it wasn’t my fault… Praise the Internet
You’re not the only one. My shrink says it’s pretty common for adults to break down and cry after getting their diagnosis, because it’s confirmation that there’s something actually wrong and they’re not just a lazy sack of shit.
Also why, despite how weird it is to neurotypicals, people celebrate being diagnosed haha
I’m not sure if this is exclusively an ADHD or neurodivergent thing.
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It’s not exclusively an ADHD, neurotypical, OR neurodivergence trait. Severity and effects on life matter. It can be a trait associated with a myriad of executive dysfunction disorders (e.g. Autistic Inertia), ADHD, anxiety, and some personality disorders as well. Finally, an otherwise mentally neurotypical person will behave the same way given a big enough stressor.
Severity and effects on life, that’s the first measure to look at before asking “But everyone is like X or Y, sometimes”.
as someone whose diagnosis focusses on ASD with no specific reference to ADHD, this is still familiar.
My coverup is “I couldn’t find the opportunity” to people who know, and “it left my mind” to outsiders
I read that as I left my mind, which also makes sense
basically no symptom of ADHD is exclusive to ADHD. But as a rule, executive dysfunction as described here will happen much more frequently and for much more mundane tasks for people with ADHD when compared to people without.
I get like this with some spesific tasks. Other related tasks I breeze through quickly, but when I get reminded about the one I struggle like this with I just freeze.
As far as I know I am what they call neurotypical but I do wonder if I have some attention defisit at times.
Attention is really another aspect of executive function along with self motivation.
No doubt everyone sometimes struggles to get motivated to start something, once in a while. And no doubt people sometimes find it hard to focus on a thing. Or have trouble shifting their focus from one thing to another.
With ADHD, these and the many other symptoms tend to manifest quite frequently and have a significant impact on all areas of your life. Your career suffers, your relationships suffer, etc.
… What the fuck is this.
ADHD is just like everyone else it’s just less. Everything you experience is what is “neuraltypical” just to a stronger degree in some cases less in others. People with ADHD need to stay away from these internet holes. This shit is self feeding bullshit
In many different scenarios I’d be right there with you, but I think you might be missing the point here.
People who are raised by people who don’t struggle as much (and consequently are unable to relate or empathize meaningfully with ND struggles) are likely to grow up thinking they are broken and that they must hide who they are to avoid inconveniencing others. This might seem quaint, but think of it in terms of survival - not politeness.
When you see people commenting things like “omg I thought it was just me” or whatever, it’s possible that this is the first time someone has ever felt like they weren’t fundamentally alone. Once we get to this point, we can start to feel a bit more confident about learning more and/or seeking help.
And finally… your argument, “it’s just less”, is really fucking stupid. How is magnitude not relevant? Did you think before you wrote this, or are you just embarrassingly confident by default?
I wanna show this guy that 79-year-old lady’s post screaming, “You mean laundry isn’t supposed to be agony?”
Jesus. What privileged behavior.
Neurotypical people don’t do this.
Every single person on the planet does this
They really don’t
I see people say shit like “every person does this” a lot of the time on adhd posts, but then people also wonder why I’m “so weird”. Maybe it’s because I have a condition that a neuropsychologist diagnosed me with and it’s how it affects me? And that I’m actually different and not just “making it up” because it’s an invisible disability?
Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it not real. Or because you yourself are not as neurotypical as you might think.
It isn’t a disability
It’s literally legally defined as a disability in most countries what are you on about
A disability only under strict conditions that almost all of you do not meet
So now you do admit it’s a disability, and instead of fucking off, you move the goalposts to how everyone here should verify their medical history for you?
Get bent. Seriously. Nevermind that I just replied to you upthread, I’m done with your ass.
The 7 stages are:
shock and denial. ------ You are here pain and guilt. anger and bargaining. depression. the upward turn. reconstruction and working through. acceptance and hope.Doubtful. Have dealt with it enough. And have been around enough to witness all kinds of people with executive function problems to realize it isn’t an excuse. It can be more difficult for tasks and behaviors but in no way is it experiencing something that is unique to others without ADHD. These internet self diagnoses chambers are the worst for this fantasy self victimization.
It continually sucks to find these communities hoping there’s finally one that could produce meaningful conversation and information. Instead I find a bunch of wound licking people posting excuses based on some malingering fantasy disease.
How far do i need to search to find a post/comment being like “OMG neuro’s don’t know what its like to lose the car keys. Not like us ADHD’rs”
I dunno if there’s anything to “self diagnosis chambers.” I can only speak to my experience.
I’m an adult woman with late diagnosed ADHD. I became belligerent when diagnosed 4 years ago and refused to believe it (skipping ahead in the story) and now I hang out in ADHD spaces online because it’s always helpful to feel like you’re not alone. And because women tend to present with inattentive type, and largely went undiagnosed as children (since our suffering tends to be less disruptive and thus, easy to ignore).
You read like a neurotypical coming into our space like you’re welcome and lecturing people who have a learning disability like anybody asked. Buzz off.
Its not a disability. I sound neurotypical because I am I just have ADHD. Neurotypical sounds made up and I bet if a deep dive was completed on how its used it would be just wrong and likely downright offensive to a lot of people.
ADHD is considered a disability (in the US) under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Which is why a person with an ADHD diagnosis is allowed to ask for reasonable accommodations.
The more you know.
Its a disability in america in a special category where you have to meet certain conditions like not being gainfully employed for a certain period of time. Being ADHD is not a disability. In other countries like where I live it is also not a disability. ADHD does not prevent you or hinder you from anything.
How about instead of your obvious personal problems with this very real disability that I, and others, suffer from, why don’t you provide me with a scientific paper? A peer-reviewed study? Literally anything other than stating your feeling as fact?
I tell ya what. Tell me what country you’re in and I’ll provide evidence that it’s considered a disability there.
Bonus reply; I would know. I work for the Department of Developmental and Intellectual Disabilities caring for disabled adults. Knowing the ADA is actually my bread and butter.
But go off on why it’s not a disability.
Hmm I should get tested.
How does one do that? Starting to think maybe this is me…
Me too.
Well this didn’t need to be so targeted. At least tell me how you fix that shit.
How to climb the wall of awful with animations. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo08uS904Rg
Thank you so much! That’s some of the best advice that I’ve needed the most ever! ❤️
This is pretty good. I remember seeing it a while ago.
Realizing I had all this wall – emotional stuff – in the way was a help. I could see what problem I actually had to solve first.
I find it helps to analyze what I am feeling and why and kind of talk through it.
And sometimes looking at the initial steps of getting started helps. If I can get started on one or two simple actions it is often enough to get over the hump and keep going.
E.g. I have this report to write ugh …but let’s see… The first thing is I just need to open Visio and then the next hard thing is to find the architecture diagram…so maybe just open up that one team website cuz it might be there. So I go and do that and now I’m locked into finding the diagram, then starting to work on it for the report, and I can go step wise from there.
A big problem is just having the “juice” to start. If I haven’t exercised in a while and am falling into depression, forget it. It’s almost impossible. Whereas it is much easier if I am feeling good due to regular exercise.
My Rx helps, especially in the morning about 20-30 minutes after taking it. If I don’t waste it on goofing off lol.
neat. it sure feels like a literal wall.
Currently trying to get the relevant Government Agency to stop calling me about my mental health issues and just e-mail me instead.
90% of the posts I never actually post are because I spend half an hour explaining my thought process and then I see the huge wall of text and then go “ah fuck that.”
So this is why I struggle with daily standup
I prepare 45 minutes before, then 15, then 5 and then I’m late and my prep was useless.
One day though I’ll be a star
I’m so lucky that rarely had to work in an environment with daily stand ups. One time I did and I kinda managed for a few months until one day I just had “an episode” and got up and walked out saying “sorry, I can’t do this”. I was also very lucky to be working for an employer who supported me through the following weeks of “sick” leave and a role change.
That’s amazing, I’m so happy it turned out ok.
Since my current team’s timezone is all over the place, we do our standup async via text, so it’s not so bad. But still having to explain “What did you get done yesterday?” to the Slackbot at the beginning of my day is not always a great feeling.
“I know that I did things, I promise, but I can’t remember what any of them are”
Oh shit, is that a sign of ADHD? This happens to me a lot and it’s really tough to overcome, I end up jumping between tasks to do something else, remember the important scary thing, stare at it for a bit then task bounce again.
Sign of executive dysfunction, which can arise as the result of ADHD, anxiety, or other disorders.
Trouble is it’s also a symptom of general burn out, depression or just laziness. ADHD often gets confused with those although it’s categorically different
Idk, my parents and teachers were 100% sure it was laziness for years, they didn’t seem confused about it at all. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed as an adult in college that there was any confusion.
Confusingly, confused with and confused by do not mean the same thing
That is confusing
That reminds me: isn’t it weird how Confucius seemed so certain about everything? Much moreso than most neurotypicals, even!
Well, they were wrong. They may not have felt confused. But they were confusing laziness for ADHD.
I am not sure if laziness really exists. But there are countless reasons why someone can have this issue. Additional ones are: a physical lack of energy (nutrition deficit, sleep deficit, etc.), decision or option paralysis, problems handling emotions, trauma, …
I’m sorry but laziness definitely exists. This is just going too far.
I’m lazy as fuck, yes it exists.
If anyone tries to argue that I’m not lazy they can go argue with a homosexual why they’re not gay and see how that turns out
Sign of anxiety, not necessarily ADHD.
So it’s certainly a sign of anxiety but not necessarily ADHD? That’s what you said there. It’s not necessarily either.
Which is why the distinction. Just like sniffles are not necessarily a cold and coughing isn’t necessarily covid.
I posted a better answer
They often present together, and definitely have a positive feedback loop between them.
Those two pair really well, like canned cheese and strawberry wine.
ADHD: Your memory is now crap and little shots of dopamine hit with new things, causing concentration to change unwillingly.
GAD: Notice all the things and above all fear everything, especially what will interrupt me next
When memes getuncomfortably specific.
