People who may before they turn
2430 are weirdFTFY
24 is just as arbitrary an age as 18, change my mind
someone at 24 has several more years of experience in the adult world. someone at 24 has several more years of neurological development (which isn’t complete until around 25). in other words, at 24 someone has better context for decision-making and better decision-making ability than someone who is 18.
On average sure. But your statement at its face is simply wrong. Older does not mean they make better decisions.
indeed, lots of people make poor decisions regardless of age. but statistically speaking, 24 year olds have resources (experience, development) which increase their capacity to make better decisions.
Yes it’s all about mental age and mindset.
As people wait longer to marry over the generations, the divorce rate has increased and level of “happiness” has declined.
Causation yadda yadda yadda. You still can’t actually disprove its why.
What’s wrong with the divorce rate increasing? Like, no joke, is that not a good thing? More people getting out of bad relationships seems like a better outcome.
If you look at the study the number one reason for divorce is “lack of commitment”. That doesn’t necessarily mean it was a “bad” relationship…
That’s just a nice way of saying infidelity.
That is its own selection… and was #3. There’s a 20% difference between the numbers. If it was “just” a nice way to say infidelity then those numbers would be functionally equivalent. But they’re not.
Then what does “lack of commitment” mean?
No idea… I’m not representative to the 630,505 [supposed] divorces that the study covers…
Why People are Divorcing in the United States
42. Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages:Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56% Infidelity 55% Married too young 46% Unrealistic expectations 45% Lack of equality in the relationship 44% Lack of preparation for marriage 41% Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%If it was “bad” relationship… which I take to mean that the person was being physically/verbally abusive. Then I would suspect that the 25% number would be much higher. It doesn’t make sense that “Lack of commitment” as a distinct option would be so high when the others are so low comparatively.
What people view as difference between them is in their own head and based on their own experience. My first marriage, my ex-wife brought drugs into my house. I would absolutely consider that “lack of commitment” based on these options if I was filling out a survey or something (no idea how these values were collected… possibly from the court proceedings themselves? In which case I could look at my own and validate… but I don’t care enough.) I was in the military at the time, and drugs is automatic issues. She also wouldn’t get and hold a job… so lack of equality could also count, though I probably wouldn’t have checked that box. Neither of us were abusive to each other.
That’s not what I meant by “bad relationship”. That would be “abusive relationship”, which is a much worse thing, but included under the umbrella term. I would call your relationship that you just described as a bad relationship. Aren’t you happy that you’re no longer married to her?
I could see that. As somebody who met my wife in my teens, I never lived on my own except in a dorm room. If I had a decade of the bachelor life first, I think I would have a very different perspective. I would have a different living arrangement to compare with.
As it is, my married life seems like the default. There’s no “it’s better/worse for this reason.” And obviously things are going well. It’s not like you should stick with a shit relationship just because it’s all you know. Unfortunately I think that happens way too often.
The divorce rate among millennials is decreasing in the US compared to earlier generations. That said, reducing it to how long people are waiting to marry ignores a lot of other factors. For instance, low income couples are more likely to never marry, their relationships are less stable, and if they do get married they are more likely to get divorced.
Another thing that’s clearly unaccounted for is that people who divorce in their 20’s can remarry… and do things differently when they’re a little older. Meaning that their lived experience from their first divorce can lead to a healthier marriage later on in life in their 30’s. It’s entirely possible that WITHOUT that lived experience… they would have had a divorce in their 30’s instead.
Say that to the ppl in countries/places where people start working from the age they are old enough to hold tools, or after high school, they or their parents are not gonna bother delaying their marriage well past puberty, it varies wildly depending on the place(and culture), not everyone is living in a rich country and want to complete masters before doing anything else.
It goes up. Now I think people that get married before 40 are weird.
On serious note… It’s any age. You can tell when a couple is just trying to reproduce an image of “family” because they were told it’s the next thing to do in life. Working in retail id often see families you could tell just went through the motions and that everyone was disconnected from one another. It’s sad.
I don’t trust anybody that isn’t a wizard.
I met my wife at 37 and married at 39. Best decision I ever didn’t intentionally make :)
But looking back, I had a TON of growing up to do before I was ready to seriously commit to marriage the way I personally view it. Pair bonding for life. Sure, people, things and desired change, but I’ve watched far too many god awful divorces to ever want to go through that, so I wanted to be really sure and I totally was. It’s been an awesome 16 years.
@[email protected] Could you share the meme template, please? =)
Thank you.
I also think that when I see people of that age married or with kids. But I think it’s just because of our different life experiences.
I opted to enroll in a PhD right after graduating and so, at 30, I still feel like my life isn’t at a point when I can start thinking about kids or marriage. But I know a lot of people enter relatively stable jobs as soon as they graduate university (or high school, although in my circles everyone went to university - it’s not as expensive as in the US here). I can understand people in that position starting to think about family earlier than me.
I was recently trying to talk a person online out of marrying someone once the two of them are both 18. It’s partly because they’re head-over-heels in love with their partner and partly to move out of the US to Canada to escape their trans hostile state. They are trans and their partner helped them through some rough patches. The couple is only now meeting in person for the first time after three years. It was a little frustrating talking to them because I’m a naturally cautious person. My husband and I took about five years from first date to cohabiting to wedding. They honestly sounded like your stereotypical love sick teenager.
I would agree with the general judgement of this cartoon. There’s going to be some survivor bias for marriages that worked young. I know a woman who married a man who was in his 50’s when she was 18, right out of high school. When he died, she never remarried. But you never hear much about the marriages where an 18-year-old deemed themselves “more mature than those other girls/boys” and it turned into a disaster. They typically don’t last that long and no one wants to talk about them much.
Can we stop extending “just a kid” into ever older years? Society already years anybody under 18 like they’re the same as a goddamn fetus. Human life expectancy being what it is, we shouldn’t be treating people… not even like they don’t know anything but like they couldn’t even conceivably know anything for fully a third of it.
Is 18 years a third of your life given todays life span?
Where do you live where the expected life span is just 56? O.o
I think they’re referring to the 24 number op originally stated, that is roughly a third of the life expectancy for males at least.
This. Sorry that was less than clear.
I don’t know how it is for you, but when I look back at 24-year-old me, I am not impressed. I guess what I’m saying is that there are a lot of us who definitely don’t have their shit together when they’re 24. They say your prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until 25 at the earliest, but I feel like it was closer to 30 for me. Granted, I’m kind of a dummy anyway, so this probably doesn’t apply to everyone.
Just wait. 45 year old me was cringe. And 35 year old me? How did that guy even have friends.
That reads as “I couldn’t make those decisions at that age, so obviously no one else could.”
I say this as someone that had my first child at 23, after talking about it with my girlfriend since the age of 19.
We don’t regret a thing. (Well, apart from not winning the lottery. Yet.)
24-year-old me was an awesome badass and I regret nothing.
What happened man? You used to be cool.
I was a shit person at 24 who knew nothing so everyone must’ve been a shittier person at 24 who knew even less than me, vibes.
I don’t look at other people as if they are or were me, I look at them as if they are their own people who may or may not be living their life differently from me.
Yeah! Just be with them for 15 years dragging your feet like a normal person!
Married at 23. Met my husband at 18 on a dating app, was supposed to be a quickie. He’s just that charming, and I love him lol.
Maturity plays a much more important role than age. Some people are never fit to marry, some have what it takes by the time they are 16/17. It’s not often that it plays out well for the youngest ones, and since each year brings new experiences and understandings each year moves along the bell curve of “marriage readiness”. So is it more likely that a 24 year old is more ready for marriage than a 18 year old. Yes. Is it guaranteed? No. I know some 50/60 year olds that still aren’t ready for marriage. They just never learned the skills it takes to have a healthy marriage. Giving an age as a hard cutoff is too arbitrary a measure. Age doesn’t guarantee shit.
24yo people don’t see themselves as children. This post is probably coming from a 40yo person.
As a 27yo, I’m still trying to figure out how to better organize myself. I was one of those kids that never had to take notes in school
And now that’s coming back to bite me, because I’m completely new to note-taking, but am working on large 20yo code bases with tons of tech-debt and spaghetti madness. Along with tons of technical jargon in a completely different field. I just can’t keep all that in my head anymore
The point is, i feel like an adult in certain aspects, and a child in others
That’s it, end of thread. Maturity plays such an important factor it’s astonishing it’s not the first thing being discussed instead of an arbitrary number.
While I also feel it is weird, I strongly believe marrying kids (<18) should be illegally nationally with no exceptions. I have personally witnessed lives destroyed.
