My personal favorite is:
“I will walk through you”
I’ll clog your toilet
I will upper decker your favorite toilet
I’m going to show your toilet #3.
Half of these are just OOP’s kinks showing
- I will edge you then ruin your orgasm
Like seriously OP just go watch some toe sucking watersports porn on Bing.
“I’ll send your teeth brush to the unemployment office” or “Carmine, you sit in the front seat, I wanna stretch my legs”, I for myself like to use “you have my undivided attention now”, freaks people out. Don’t have to use it very often, one or 2 times in my life in earnest. Add Jack Nicholson smile for good measure.
One I’ve always wanted to try is “I will keep punching you until I break through your head.”
My favorite: Don’t make me shove a straw in your carotid to see how far I can make the blood fountain shoot.
I did once have someone come at me while saying “I WILL RIP YOUR EYEBROWS OUT”
I’ll hit you until I pass out
I always liked Digger’s threat to Herne: ‘and furthermore, should you hurt its feelings, I will smelt ore with your bones, understand?’
I always thought the idea of biting someone else’s tooth out was unsettling.
Where have you heard that?! That’s new and disturbing imagery to me.
Just my head
I will unfuck your mother.
To whom it will concern
“I hope this email finds you before I do”
Stupid. They will dig it out in court. Only personal and in private.
Oh that’s good. I’m gonna have to use that one.
“I will stare into your eyes even after you blink”.
I will salt your papercuts.
I will grate your cheese.
I shall end your bloodline, with a spoon.
I will grate your cheese.
I mean I’m making quesadillas so that’d be great… er, very nice of you.
the spoon thing tho that’s pretty good
“… Why a spoon, cousin?”
