You must log in or register to comment.
When your primary motivations are to get laid, get rich, and become popular, in that order, kiss has it down to an art form.
True. Music isn’t the art form they were good at.
And yet are fairly widely recognisable for, em,
music I guessthat long tongue.
“Rock and roll all nite” is at least somewhat rock-ish. Try “I was made for loving you” that’s almost pure disco.
I’ve seen Earth Wind and Fire in concert. They’re every bit as spectacular as you’d think they’d be.
Ok, that was legit.
Kiss is not cool
I beg to differ
they’ve always been musical posers/sellouts. that’s sort of their shtick I guess?
to be so gloriously average but pretend to be cool but end up looking fabulously gay.
and their SOUND! sooo …average.
“KISS doesn’t get the joke, man!”
…Dramatic irony is when the reader knows something the character does not.
I was about 12 years old when they were popular, and I was in the market for posers with an average sound.
Nothing’s average to you when you’ve barely listened to anything. Many of us started their musical journey with bands we don’t enjoy anymore because we now know better ones.
Not at all sure Kiss is still cool
Literally most 80’s and 90’s “hair metal” bands.
Then there’s Steely Dan who goes the opposite direction. He looks and sounds middle of the road, but the lyrics are dark as fuck. Used to only know of him because of jokes about his music being soft as shit, and then I took the time to actually listen to it and I was blown away.
Exactly. Mötley Crüe for example is just lame compared to the attitude they had
There’s that one song about boning his cousin that weird me out big time
It’s ok. You’re not alone. Other people have ugly cousins too.
Bonus points for being named after a sex toy.
“My Rival” is my favorite jaunty funk-rock ditty about a guy stalking the man that stole his wife, cornering him in the middle of the desert, and kicking him to death in a strip mall parking lot. And that’s not even in the 'Dan Top 10.
And you can’t listen to “Godwhacker” and tell me that isn’t the basic plot of half a dozen death metal songs, just with more jive and a sicker bassline.
He looks and sounds middle of the road, but the lyrics are dark as fuck
Have you ever listened to the lyrics for Simon and Garfunkel songs? They make the most beautiful and serene music, all about darkness, loneliness, and desperation.
Funnily enough Disturbed’s Remix of Sound of Silence goes pretty hard. And now I’ve heard remixes of a remix
I don’t like this cover particularly much, but it definitely stays true to the feel of the original.
“Bye bye love” is a pretty funny one by S&G as the lyrics are all about heartache bordering full on depression, but people love to clap along to the upbeat melody.
The song about creepy Mister LaPage wanting to show kids dirty movies comes to mind, Everyone’s Gone To the Movies. Also Third World Man, about a veteran suffering from PTSD, or Kid Charlemagne and the story it tells of a drug kingpin.
Steely Dan isn’t a person, it’s two main artists and a bunch of other session musicians. The band’s name came from a steam-powered dildo named Steely Dan in a book from the early 60’s I believe.
They made some fucking amazing music!
Fair. I do the same with Tom Petty, even though I mean Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.
Hootie Hootie Hootie!
Darius Rucker: “For the last time, my name isn’t Hootie!”
[breaks down in tears, blubbering] “I’m Hootie! I’m Hoo-hoo-hootie!”
That really might be one of their best skits ever and it’s such a deep burn.
I definitely thought Steely Dan was a person when I was younger. Also I wanted an excuse to share the dildo story.
Pink Floyd also could be a person’s name. In fact one of their songs even references a record exec mistaking the band’s name for a person with the lyrics “Oh by the way, which one’s Pink?”
Jethro Tull as well
Jethro Tull was a guy, see Episode 6 of Yacht Rock for details!
…just watch the whole series, it’s like one hour and it’s all gold
It’s from Naked Lunch, and it’s a dildo so strong it could survive even the strongest lesbian’s vagina.
And now we’ve got Ghost. It’s all cycles, man
They’re more in the realm of like… Stoner Rock, Psychedelic Doom and Smooth rock tbh with a large emphasis on Satanist Imagery and gospel. I fuck with that. More like Candlemass type Doom metal than like Stormkeep Doom Metal.
KISS on the other hand was like “Hey kids, we heard you like corpse paint, crazy guitar riffs and meaningful lyrics so we made the opposite for your mothers to listen to.”
I was actually surprised when I first heard Ghost, it was so calm it could almost work as elevator music. You’d never expect that from their looks
came to say the same, kiss isn’t metal and neither ghost
Their earlier works certainly are. If their early albums aren’t metal then Black Sabbath isn’t metal either.
Scooby doo chase music
KISS: when you like the look of black metal but can’t handle the sound of black metal.
… and for grown ups that want that there is baby metal.
/j
Did somebody say Baby metal?
Not to ne confused with
Paul Stanley KISS songs are cool. The rest, meh.
Off the top of my head, see: Detroit Rock City and Strutter.
Beth is pretty good, would never guess it being a KISS song.
“I met a girl and I really think she liked me”
that pedo band?
Christine Sixteen:
don’t usually say things like this to girls your age
But when I saw you coming out of school that day
That day I knew, I knew
I’ve got to have you, I’ve got to have youYikes! I don’t stand by my title for this post.
If you pay attention, lyrics about sex with minors was a common theme from the 50s (and earlier) to the 90s (and later).
“I get it up for the touch of the younger kind” ~ my Sharona - the knack, 1979
“She was just 17, if you know what I mean” ~ I saw her standing there - the Beatles, 1963
Girl, you’ll be a woman soon. Neil diamond
Don’t stand so close to me. The police
Sweet little sixteen. Chuck Berry
Etc.
“Well I don’t care if you’re just thirteen, You look too good to be true” Ted Nugent - Jailbait
“Little 15” Depeche Mode
Or if you want a clever subtle song choice.
“I love little girls, They make me feel so good”
~ Little girls - Oingo Boingo, 1981But seriously I love that Danny Elfman was so pissed at his industry having this issue that he straight up made the creepiest, wrong song, just to mock them. And mostly everyone’s takeaway was just “ew”.
It’s worth noting that Paul McCartney was only 21 and George Harrison only 20 in 1963. That’s a group of guys who hadn’t really matured much since they never had to face any of the challenges that we did at that age, and were constantly doted upon. I’m not excusing their lyrics, I’m just saying 17 and 20 (only 3 years apart) is not as creepy as shit like old ass Ted Nugent singing about 13 year old girls. That shit is criminal, and gross.
Domino - KISS
The live version of which is my favorite song of theirs…but not for that reason lol
It is creepy, not pedophile.
I know for most people this seems like hair splitting but there is a stark contrast between beeing attracted to a 16 year old (which only based on physical appearance is very normal) and being attracted to prepubescent people.
Acting on attractions is a whole different book.
The incredible irony here is that there are so, so many death and black metal musicians that are genuinely better people than Gene Simmons could ever be. I would trust my kids (note: I do not have kids) around Cannibal Corpse and Cattle Decapitation. I would absolutely not trust Simmons around a teen daughter.
Better people and musicians / composers, I’d say
George Fisher is awesome! Plus dat neck haha
Oh for sure, metal heads are for real wholesome ppl. Metal concerts are probably the lowest in some stupid peer pressure things or macho competitions (who can to the most x stuff, who has the most money, etc), and I absolutely know how many people react to someone needing some help. Maybe because we are a more diverse group related to age? Or because we are everywhere yet nowhere mainstream?
I was the Metal Blade 25th anniversary show in Chicago–Cattle Decapitation with Goatwhore, Allegaeon, and Novembers Doom–and the lead of Goatwhore stopped the show to point out the guy that had his 10yo kid (with ear muffs!) at the edge of the pit, and told the crowd to be careful and friendly, because that kid was the future of the scene.
Depends on. Some places of the metal community outdo gaming toxicity-wise, especially pre-2010s.
Crazy, I’ve been to a couple hundred metal shows and never heard anyone say the N word. No one’s ever threatened to kill me or my family. Never heard anyone going around the crowed telling women to get the fuck back in the kitchen… like the fuck you mean?
I’m jealous of you, but maybe a lot of it comes from me being older, and some of those toxic elders either got reformed, or left the scene entirely.
In my experience, the gatekeeping and unhealthy drinking habits are the most toxic aspects of it.
I would trust my kids (note: I do not have kids) around Cannibal Corpse
Well, maybe not at Pat O’Brien’s house.
If you left your kids with Cattle Decapitation you’d end up picking up a budding eco-terrorist which doesn’t sound half bad
Fair point; it seems like he wasn’t storing his firearms safely.
Hope he gets the help he needs. :(
I’d totally leave my kids with Ozzy but only because I know Sharon would also be there.
And if anything happens, he’d probably carry them back to civilization before going into a coma.
Yeah, if the house caught on fire she could send them back in to save her paintings.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9fBsRiB3ijs&pp=ygUbc2hhcm9uIG9zYm91cm5lIGhvdXNlIGZpcmUg
Knights In Satans Service?
If the only goal of Satan’s servants is merchandise and weak music, then yes.
My child, go forth and sell as many spiked wristbands as possible!
Coffins! Don’t forget the coffins!
Best thing about KISS is the game (Psycho Circus). And Im not saying it’s a good game, tho it’s atmospheric.
(Something mid way between Blood 2 and Painkiller)
Seen them twice and still love their Unplugged gig.
