Did y’all know that microwaves aren’t magic and you need to mix your food?
If you cook it on half power for twice as long, you can do one less thing (also IMO it tastes significantly better)
In a microwave oven, an assembly of cyprium, aluminium, and ferrum-impregnated clay is energized in such a way as to excite the aetheric medium, producing a beam of invisible energy which induces sympathetic vibrations in certain particulates in various solid and liquid foods, which results in heating of the food material.
But tell me again how it’s not magic.
Maaaan, there ain’t no luminiferous ether!
Nonsense, my good fellow. It is well known that excitation of the aether produces corpuscles of light. How else could we see the stars in the firmament?
Until today I was certain that even the feeblest Intellect, or at any rate those capable of the written Composition of Speech, would be aware that Ocular Rays emitted by our Eyes, which, upon reflecting from external Matter, return Hermes-like to intelligence our Minds, are responsible for the Faculty of Vision; however, to my unfathomable Sorrow and Disappointment, your Missive of today (which has reached me most indisposed) illustrates that this was but a forlorn Hope.
That clay sure gets around, don’it?
Also, you might want to double check what your bowl is made of, and that it’s a microwave safe material. If the bowl is getting dramatically hotter than the food like that, the power is being absorbed by the bowl instead of being evenly distributed like neutral microwave-safe materials would.
blue paints/colors tend to be the worst culprits.
And yet oddly white bowls are the best right? Reflective!
However my best plates currently that don’t heat up are also straight black…
Materials matter folks. Just make sure they’re microwave safe and read the fine print that says they’re safe but not for longer than a minute at a time.
I’m looking at you wheat grass bowl fads on Amazon.
microwaves aren’t magic
Well, any sufficiently advanced technology…
You do need to mix your food, but microwaves are obviously magic.
The trick is not microwaving everything at 100% power, but for a longer time instead
Also, add water. How much depends on the food. Water is opaque to microwaves, so it absorbs them extremely readily and thus heat up. If you have wifi that shuts down when a shower is going, that’s why.
Bowls of soup (and the heathens that reheat coffee or boil water for tea in the microwave) disagree.
What do you mean?
Humidifiers are firewalls
Or just get a better microwave safe container?
Or just get an air fryer. Most things people make in the microwave can be made in an air fryer, and it almost always comes out leaps and bounds better.
It takes about 8 minutes minimum to cook anything from frozen in my air fryer, vs 1 or 2 in the microwave though. Sometimes the quality improvement is worth the extra time, but sometimes I just need my nuggies and I need em now.
Can you recommend something? I mostly I use crockery plates or glass containsers, which work, but can get pretty hot.
Nordic ware plates
Thanks!
Cooking for longer on a lower power setting will still save your food from being an over microwaved mess even with a better dish to cook it in. Lower power for longer results in more even heating across all the food and tends not to dry things out so drastically.
But I want it NOW!
4th degree burns be damned.
My mouth may blister but I have the stubbornness of a Scotsman and the self control of an American I will eat my lava and I will enjoy it.
Who has less self control average Americans or average Russians?
If the food is firm enough to stay in place, move it to the edges ie. make a bowl made of the food in your bowl.
Offset the bowl from centre.
Wet a paper towel and place it over the whole plate
Some of you need to learn to turn down the power on your microwave and cook your food for longer, it results in a more even temp across the whole plate and won’t dry things out as easily.
Or use the donut method, arrange your food in a donut on your plate, allowing it to get cooked from more surface area at once
Oooorrr…
Just not put your plate in the centre…
What if you have a plate as big as the plate on the microwave
Sir, that’s an entire turkey platter, not your dinner plate.
They could have a small microwave
Simply increase the instructions cook time by the inverse ratio of microwave radiation absorption coefficients for both energy levels!
Or put your bowl in another bowl and nuke the fuck out of it.
Always surprised how many people evidently don’t know how to use a microwave. They are, like many things, useful if you use them right.
I haven’t had one in 4 years. The only thing I’d use it for at this point is to reheat coffee… Instead I just make a fresh cup now.
I do miss having a dishwasher though. Might get a little one.
Mini washers can be seriously noisy. Check the decibels first.
Cheers, haven’t had one yet
I hate that
I end up burning my hand and my hamster is still fucking wet
Too spicy for the NES version
You reminded me of the old Joe Cartoon videos from the before YouTube times.
Gerbil in a Microwave (NSFW warning for cartoon violence)
Lmao but…
Obligatory, do not do this, this is a joke, hamsters do not do well in microwaves.
(Somewhere a kid is reading this thinking it’s a good idea)
Too late. The AI scanning the comments isn’t smart enough to “see” corrections.
It might if you ask it if it’s sure, at which point it will continue completing the text with the correction.
Double the time but put power at 60%. You’ll never get frozen lava again.
You’re welcome.
I’ve looked and looked over the years, but no microwave I’ve ever owned as let me adjust the wattage, even though I’ve often seen this tip. Is this just an EU thing, or a bougie microwave thing?
Look up the manual for your current microwave. It may be able to, or it might have some programs that have varied levels of power. Some just don’t have the option, tho, so that might be why.
Thank you, I will definitely check! I don’t think I’ve ever actually bought a microwave, they’ve kinda just been in whatever house/apartment I’ve moved into, so that’s probably why it never occurred to me that that info was probably in the paperwork that came with the machine
No microwave I’ve seen has ever actually varied the wattage. It just essentially does pulse width modulation, so 60% power might be on (at full power) for 6 seconds and off for 4 seconds. It averages out to the desired power, but it’s not exactly the same as what it kind of implies.
I see, thank you for the explanation! I thought I was just stupid at microwaves.
Reason this is good is because the power setting really only affects how often the magnetron switches on and off (usually easy to hear). Lower power = more time off. Many microwave foods say to let it rest for a few minutes, this integrates that into the process(but they’re all different so do experiment)
Except with proper microwaves that actually reduce the power. I’m not sure if it’s just Panasonic, but look for microwaves that mention inverter technology. Essentially they convert AC to DC, and then back to AC in a more controlled and adjustable manner.
Don’t know how you’re getting down voted for this? This feature is going to be the new standard for microwaves.
No way. My microwave has a single button. “Add 30 seconds”. Anything else is just decoration.
I will never understand this one. Like, at least respect yourself enough to think you deserve literal seconds worth of effort
Edit: maybe nobody has ever told you. Hey, you have value and worth. You’re deserving of good things and worthy of reasonable effort to achieve them.
My dude, I’m using a microwave. For meals I care even a little about I’m busting out the air fryer.
I just roll the dice and use the reheat button. 90% of the time it works every time
Literal child minded people.
You are using an incredible machine. Press more buttons other then +30+30+30+30start
My microwave has a popcorn setting.
Every microwavable popcorn I ever bought said on the package not to use that setting.
Same with all the others: What the fuck does the Pizza setting actually do?Technology Connections on YouTube or a better alternative has done videos about the popcorn button at least.
Fwiw I’ve never ever seen settings like that. Maybe it’s only for American market?
Nope, I’m in Germany.
That’s interesting. Thanks.
Olde time microwaves had a moisture sensor inside which allowed them to sense when popcorn was done popping, automatically. Really fancy ones have a microphone, and will listen for when the popping is done.
But lots of microwaves literally just throw on a popcorn button that’s just some arbitrary preset time duration. These do not get consistent result, and as such, popcorn makers just tell people to not use the feature at all as they can’t guarantee results.
Surely the microwave manufacturer is to blame?
Why should the popcorn manufacturer have to inform the user about a feature of someone elses product?
Because they’ll get a million complaints that say “I used the popcorn button and it lit my microwave on fire” when they try to pop a mini bag or something.
In almost all microwaves, the control circuitry or mechanical switches only ever switch 2-3 power circuits: motor+fan(+bulb sometimes separately) and the heating (transformer+diode+capacitor+magnetron) high voltage circuit. It can therefore only switch the heat between 0 and max, usually in a slow (15-30s period) PWM cycle (that hopefully does not coincide with the tray rotation period). The inputs can be manual only, or sometimes there is also a scale, moisture sensor and microphone, along with thermal fuses for safety.
I think the pizza setting is just generic medium one with short 50% cycles to allow the heat to spread. The popcorn setting can be much more interesting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Limpr1L8Pss
POPCORN BUTTON!
But only if you have a microwave with sensor cook. If it asks you to put in the weight just follow the directions on the bag.
I make my popcorn in a pan on the stove
I feel attacked
You fool, you know nothing of microwaves.
+30 automatically starts it.
Wait till you find out that in Europe a lot of microwaves still only have two dials you turn, 0 buttons or only the very basic of buttons alongside.
That’s because we use them for a) melting butter or b) heating soup
They’re fucking awful for cooking
Chef Mike has his place. You just have to know what his strengths and weaknesses are. And not have a cheap ass piece of shit one, like most things, cheap usually means shit.
Kinda makes sense when the only "food* that doesn’t heat better in a pan or a convection oven is ultra-processed gash
Not very popular in most places
Porridge out the microwave is decent enough!
True, forgot that!
They are only awful for cooking if you don’t know when or how to use em.
Or if you don’t know what fresh produce is 😂
+1 for popcorn. Check out the silicone bowls like hotpop so you can use that melted butter!
I’ve never really needed the other buttons. It has a whole ass numpad and loads of menus, when all I need is a dial for time and maybe one for power.
The reason there’s tons of buttons and settings is because it looks better on the showroom floor, especially when sitting next to other microwaves. Same goes for just about every appliance: They’re not made to work particularly well or last long, just look better than the other guy in a big-box store.
The fact that I can’t test drive an appliance before buying it is very frustrating.
I think a very simple design could look elegant if done right. But then you couldn’t sell it on who-gives-a-shit features. Automatic salmon cooking. In the microwave. What the actual fuck
TIL that Europe doesn’t have microwaves that transform bell pepper soup into boiling hot lava in 38.2 seconds. The bowl is untouchable too
Our microwaves would do it in ten seconds because we don’t have girly pink sequinned 110v electric
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Ran across this video some time ago. Good (while cheeky) breakdown on some microwaving basics.
Of course it’s internet Shaquille
cold food hot bowl is a direct sign of not having good microwaveable dishes.
My in laws have this white corelle stuff that swears it’s microwave safe on the bottom but it gets hot as fuck when you reheat food. i don’t think it’s just because it’s thin either if you try to melt butter in it the dishes get very hot.
The glass bentgo containers i use for storing food seem to be completely invisible to the microwaves. You can get food bubbling hot and still grab the glass container to pull it out and it’s completely cool.
Yup, some dishes absorb microwaves better than the food, so they absorb the majority of the energy.
cold food hot bowl is a direct sign of not having good microwaveable dishes.
I’ve noticed some dishes degrade over time as well. I have some coffee cups that were fine for years, but nowadays if I microwave one for a minute I might as well be grabbing a motorcycle tailpipe when I go to take it out.
interesting! probably water molecules collecting inside through micro cracks over the years, it’s the h2o molecules in food that act as the microwave susceptors
Microfractures from the cup constantly expanding and contracting sounds most likely. Cup has been through war lol
Just throw it in a skillet. It’s fast and almost always better.
I think the hamster has a better chance in the microwave
Edit: stupid spelling
Finally, a civilized yank that understands how to make tea the correct way.
You office has a community oven and skillet?
What’s an office?
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Lower the power setting and put it on for longer, it will usually give the center of time to warm up.
“center of time”, that sound vaguely poetic. :)
We’re always in the center of time. Half way between the past and future.
Whoops, definitely a typo but I like it
