John Madden. Football.
There’s one in the Austin Powers movies with a funny scottish accent.
I don’t think he’s not a gamer tho. “Dead sexy” funny guy nonetheless.
Fat Bastard?
I believe his pick up line was: “Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you’ve had fat you never go back.”
He had other lines the ladies love like:
“First things first. Where’s your shitter?! I’ve got a turtle head poking out!”
No clue, but I would start by not referring to them as females, just a hunch.
The prequels were better
Well, actually…
“You should smile more. You’d be a lot prettier”
Maybe start by not referring to them as ‘females’ or talking about ‘luring’ them to your room
He calls it his lair.
*dungeon
**fungeon
“$3 million/year, 1 night/week.”
~150,000/night is a hefty cost.
To betray one’s own heart in the interest of profit, such a cost is fair.
ever been married?
Han shot first
I heard that showing her how unfair it is that just because you are nice no one wants to sleep with you, is the best way to make her sleep with you out of obvious obligation to your nice personality and unjust fate
Also in this context being weird and shy counts as nice. You don’t actually have to make any effort!
And you simply must begin and end every sentence with uWu, obviously.
Well maybe they’ve gotten enough nice points they can turn them in for one sex?
Of course! They showered last week and everything!
If by immediate you mean in govermental decision making scale i.e. couple of weeks or months then I once saw a guy being an actual decent person to be around without expecting anything in return and he had no problem getting around.
Nah. You see I stay in my room 23 and a half hours a day. What I would prefer is if they could be Lured to my room and then I say the thing and then we plow. Like your plan is good but I dunno. At a minimum, how long would this plan require me to be outside of my room for?
Become a trapdoor spider, and leave a basket of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards outside your door as bait?
Step two say ??? No idea what really. Maybe cross your fingers you have a shared interest and the whole kidnapping thing isn’t a big deal.
Step three be in a relationship, and probably learn to leave room more often.
At least 10 more minutes
Well shit, that’s a non-starter then.
Better order something inflatable then, it will probably be more accommodating, and I suggest you order a wide selection and some repair kits just to be sure.
Yeah I know 3 different plus sized gamers who are happily married
This is semi unrelated, but I think still somewhat fitting. There’s this one guy in our festival group that sometimes is away, no one knows where he’s at but chances are high, he’s fucking someone. He’s that kind of guy, that ladies fall for when he drops lines like “hi, I’m (redacted) and how do your pants open?”
If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t believe it.
You don’t have to say anything, just show them the sweet skills you’ve developed while studying the blade.
Idk why but censoring R*ddit is way funnier than it should be
It’s the most ****it sentence over ever read
I prefer Re***t
Oh it’s reddit? I thought it was censoring out a name of a planet.
Huh I thought it’s a country name.
Given the image, I first thought it was a sci-fi planet.
It makes it funnier because it implies that earth women are a dead end for this gamer
“I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.”
If i said you have a nice body would you take off your clothes and do a little dance?
If you throw some money at me I would
“I am no longer infected!”
Bouncy bouncy
Remember Kif: the fastest way to a woman’s bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you’re in.
Well at least there’s something we can all agree on.
Relevant last place comic:
