He’s been sleeping on my couch, smoking weed all day. Plz take him back
Something similar happened to a coworker of mine a long time ago. This girl I used to work with, Adriana, her boyfriend, Christopher, called us at work one day one said that she went on vacation and she just never came back. It was a shame too because the guy died in a car crash like a year later. I saw it on the news.
Who ish dish?
“What are you cryin’ for?”
A guy at work did something like that. Went on vacation for a week, just never returned. Didn’t return phone calls or emails. Eventually he popped up on social media about 6 months later and some coworkers spotted him and got the story. If I remember correctly (which I may not), I think his girlfriend convinced him to stay, so he did, and he just ghosted his job.
That’s the dream
Livin the dream.
I love that. You know what? I will have some meatloaf.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Interesting that this is “Livin the dream”. It happened at my friend’s workplace and the leading theory is that he did some diddling and is escaping the repercussions. Guess it’s a fine line…
Cheated on his wife. Kid diddler. Embezzlement.
They’re never as juicy as people like to think it is. It’s usually something lame like depression or raising diddlers.
Depression and raising toddlers can both be the result of ill-advised diddling
“raising diddlers”?
Great show but you really need to watch the censored version.
That made me LOL
I worked at a restaurant as a teen. One of the managers went to Hawaii for vacation and never came back. Food service jobs are not hard to find. The bartender he was occasionally fucking was pretty unhappy because he didn’t even tell her or call.
Every time I’ve gone to a beautiful place, (Kauai/Virgin Islands/Moab etc) I’ve run into former insurance salesman types who just said fuck it, and stayed, and now live in an old school bus and fix outboards or whatever. Often it was precipitated by a big life event like a divorce or a child leaving the nest but sometimes they just bounced. I get it.
Makes me wish my career wasn’t so fucking niche, for sure
Living the dream or not living anymore, we’ll never know
This post is actually scary. Probably should get in touch with the embassy or something and get a courtesy check done on him?
If he, or the mafia doesn’t want him to be found, there’s not much you can do.
But in all seriousness: yeah, when someone is missing they should be reported as such at the local police, who can contact the embassy’s office in the country they were going on holiday. Many parts of Italy are very safe, rich, modern. But there are also parts where you will get hurt, especially as a tourist. Loads of poverty, gangs, mafia, corruption (particularly the south).
I’m sure you are correct about who to contact first but I would get worried the police would say it’s out of their jurisdiction.
Ah ok. I thought in freedomland it wouldn’t be much different, but usually a missing person claim should be passed onto the missing persons division of the responsible police force with a unit like that. But if anyone says “nope, bye” you can always try somewhere else. Or Google it, or ask chat gpt.
peopleroni
I, too, fantasize about my coworkers wondering where I am, cue comedy smash cut to my slowly swinging corpse
If/when I do kms it won’t be by hanging but it’s a funnier mental image
That’s nothing to joke about.
Get help!
Suicide prevention hotlines: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide
On antidepressants and in therapy, which is why I am still here. It is funny, though. Imagine it:
Scene: several people are sitting in a zoom call, with cameras on. It’s dead silent.
Coworker 1: Should we just get started?
Coworker 2: Probably, pix’s missed the other meetings today too, I doubt they’ll show up now.
Coworker 3: I’m starting to get pretty sick of them being so unreliable. I hope whatever they’re doing instead of at least letting us know they won’t be here is important.
Hard cut to my torso and legs, neck and head out of frame, gently swinging suspended above the ground
This continues for a couple seconds, letting the shock factor linger, before the Seinfeld outro slap bass starts playing
Still not funny.
Really: get help! Talk to someone!
There are so many beautiful things to live for. And if it’s just very dark humor.
It might seems funny to think in such scenarios but it leads you on a certain path. It’s the same if with all other topics. The more you think about it, the more you live in this world / scenario. At one time this world becomes so normal that next - potential dangerous - steps don’t seem so crazy, as they might do, judged from the outside.
So please: take care and try to focus on other, positive things in life 😊
You got this, buddy!
That’s nothing to joke about.
Like hell it isn’t. For some of us, joking about these things are how we stave them off.
Or he’s dead.
That happened to a friend of mine. He deleted everything when he had a mental health episode. Took time off. They found his remains months later.
So yeah, could be.
Livin the dream.
Just minus the “livin” part. But hey, can’t have everything.
Me, dead, deleting all my social media to make it a big mystery or something.
“And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”
The majority of men showed changes in behavior before the suicide, especially social withdrawal,
Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10488060/
If you’re considering ending it all, make one phone call. You’ve got nothing to lose.
–
Edit: Apparently the link I posted above is not viewable by everyone. So, below is the content of the article in Markdown format:
Argentina Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 911
- Centro de Asistencia al Suicida
- In the greater Buenos Aires area, dial 135
- Otherwise, call 5275-1135 or 0800 345 1435
Australia Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 000
- Lifeline Australia
- Dial 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support
- Text 0477 13 11 14 for 24/7 text support
Austria Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency numbers: Dial 112 for emergencies (EU emergency number), 133 for police, 144 for an ambulance, and 122 for the fire brigade
- Emergency psychiatric hotline: 01 313 30; 24/7 support is available
- Suicide prevention hotline: 01 713 3374
- Telefon Seelsorge
- Dial 142 for 24/7 crisis support
- For online chat support, visit Telefon Seelsorge’s website; available from 4 pm to 11 pm Central European Time
Belgium Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: Dial 112 for emergencies (EU emergency number), 101 for police, and 100 for a medical emergency or the fire brigade
- Zelfmoord 1813
- Dial 1813 for 24/7 crisis support
- For online chat support, visit Zelfmoord’s website; available from 5:00 pm to 12:am Central European Time
Canada Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 911
- Talk Suicide Canada
- Dial 1-833-456-4566 for 24/7 crisis support
- Text 45645 for text support; available 4 pm to midnight ET
- In Quebec:
- Dial 1-866-APPELLE (277-3553) for 24/7 crisis support
- Text 535353 for 24/7 text support
- For 24/7 chat support, visit suicide.ca
- Kids Help Phone
- 24/7 text support: Text CONNECT to 686868
Chile Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency numbers: Call 133 for police; call 131 for medical assistance
- Teléfono de la Esperanza
- Dial (00 56 42) 22 12 00
Colombia Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 123
- Teléfono de la esperanza
- Dial (57-1) 372 24 25
- In Medellín, dial (57) 604 604 27 84
- Ministerio de Salud y Protección Social (Ministry of Health and Social Protection)
Denmark Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 112
- Medical Helpline 1813
- For emergency medical help in the Capital Region of Denmark, dial 1813 on weekends, or after 4 pm Monday through Friday
- Livslinien
- Call the crisis line at 70 201 201 every day.
- Access online chat on Mondays and Thursdays between 5 pm and 9 pm, and on weekends between 1 pm and 5 pm.
- Psykiatrifonden
- Access mental health support every day by calling 39 25 25 25
France Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 112
- National suicide prevention number: 3114
- 24/7 crisis support; visit 3114.fr to learn more
- Suicide Écoute
- Dial 01 45 39 40 00 for 24/7 crisis support
- SOS Suicide Phénix
- Dial 01 40 44 46 45 for phone support between 1 pm and 11 pm Central European Time
Germany Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 112 (EU emergency number), 110 for police
- TelefonSeelsorge
- Dial 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222 for 24/7 crisis support
- For chat or email support, visit TelefonSeelsorge’s website
Hong Kong Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 999
- The Samaritan Befrienders Hong Kong
- For 24/7 support, dial 2389 2222
- For English-language assistance, dial 2389 2223
- For online chat help, go to chatpoint.org.hk
- The Samaritans
- For 24/7 support, dial 2896 0000
Ireland Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 112 or 999
- The Samaritans
- Dial 116 123 for 24/7 mental health support
- Mental Health Ireland
- Text About It
- For 24/7 text support, text 50808
- On smaller phone networks (such as An Post or 48), text HELLO to 0861800280
Mexico Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 911
- Consejo Ciudadano
- Dial 55 5533-5533 for 24/7 crisis support
New Zealand Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 111
- National mental health and addiction hotline: 1737
- Can be reached by phone or text; learn more at 1737.org.nz
- Lifeline Aotearoa
- Dial 0800 543 354 for 24/7 crisis support
- Dial 0508 828 865 for the suicide crisis helpline
- Text HELP to 4357 for 24/7 text support
Singapore Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 999 (police) or 995
- The Samaritans of Singapore
- Dial 1767 for the 24/7 hotline
- WhatsApp 9151 1767 for 24/7 text support
South Africa Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency numbers: 10111 (police) or 10177 (ambulance)
- South African Depression and Anxiety Group
- Dial 0800 567 567 for 24/7 crisis support
Spain Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency numbers: 112
- Teléfono de la Esperanza
- Dial 717 003 717 for 24/7 crisis support
Sweden Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 112
- Mind Självmordslinjen
- Dial 90101 for 24/7 phone support; in cases of acute crisis, call 112
- For online chat support, visit Självmordslinjen’s website
Switzerland Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 112 (EU emergency number), 117 for police, 144 for ambulance
- Die Dargebotene Hand
- Dial 143 for 24/7 mental health support in German, French, and Italian
- For help in English, dial 0800 143 000 between 6 pm and 11 pm, or visit heart2heart.143.ch
- Online chat support is available in German, French, and Italian
United Kingdom Suicide Prevention Resources
- National emergency number: 999 or 112
- The Samaritans
- Dial 116 123 for 24/7 mental health support
- Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
- Dial 0800 58 58 58 for crisis support; available between 5 pm and midnight, BST or GMT
- Visit thecalmzone.net to access chat support
- Shout
- Text SHOUT to 85258 for 24/7 text support
United States Suicide Prevention Resources
National emergency number: 911(DO NOT CALL 911 IF YOU’RE SUICIDAL!)- Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988
- Accessible by phone or text
- 24/7 support in English or Spanish
- 24/7 support for deaf or hard-of-hearing individuals; learn more at 988lifeline.org. For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988
- Online chat: Visit 988lifeline.org
- Crisis Text Line
- 24/7 text support: Text HOME to 741741
Hey guys FTR, I am fine, I just wanted to check it out of pure curiosity & I was denied. The irony is making me lmao.
Thank you. I had no idea. I will make an update that has the same content but in Markdown format and I’ll stop linking to that article in the future.
Edit: Correct word
I honestly can’t tell if this is a joke or not
The best meme is the one that can unironically help someone when the joke ends.
Suicide is not a joke, Jim!
This dude is playing 4D chess while we’re sitting here pulling on our puds
I seriously almost did this. I visited the Netherlands, and fell absolutely head over heels for their way of life. It’s so damn peaceful and free! You don’t have to worry about getting shot when you’re running errands. You don’t have to worry about going bankrupt through medical expenses. You don’t have to worry about going to jail over weed or mushrooms. You don’t have to buy a car, because bicycling infrastructure and public transportation is AMAZING.
While I was there I met a lovely chap who is originally from England. He told me that he spent a holiday in Amsterdam, and broke his leg. So he stayed at the hospital, and afterwards, just didn’t leave. He’s been working/living there ever since.
When it came time for me to leave, I had accidentally missed my train, and it was going to be some extra money to switch around my flight/train to get back home, and a part of me was seriously considering just being like “fuck it” and staying. The only thing stopping me from moving there now is the knowledge that I’d have to continue paying taxes to the U.S. if I wanted to keep my citizenship while living and paying taxes in the Netherlands. 😑
If anyone can tell me a way around this… please do, because I want to move to the Netherlands.
Look at Foreign Earned Income Exclusion and Foreign Tax Credit
I am Dutch but moved to England (for love) 16 years ago and I have never regretted it. Do it while you can, else you will just live with the regret. It is such a life experience moving countries, there is no way to describe it. The magical feeling that you have in the beginning does disappear a little over the years, but it never leaves completely. The memories you create are just so amazing that you will never lose the magical feeling entirely.
Just. Do. It.
You sure he didn’t get kidnapped or run out of money?
Living the dream from the bottom of the Tiber river.
My dad did this to an asshole client. Fucked his practice up lol.
