You ever hear the conspiracy theory that says the reason Cosmo gives out such shitty dating advice to women is that if they gave out good dating advice, women would be more successful in their relationships and thus not need “advice” and so would stop reading Cosmo?

Just like that. Every successful match is two fewer users, so just make sure they can’t stay away.

EaaS. Emotions as a service.

It will all be people you already swiped left on or don’t pass your filters.

Don’t worry, it’s going to be people that you swiped off, but they’re still going to show up in the “people who liked you”

It’s all people outside of your search parameters that’s why they never show up. So basically it’s people you’re not interested in anyways and it’s not worth paying them money to find that out.

You can still do that, but as rsuri says, you cannot be so direct. It’s too confrontational and girls don’t really appreciate that. You have to invent some plausibly deniable reason to start a conversation. This also gives the girl an out if she is not really interested. Then you just allude to your interest in her, which don’t worry she will pick up on immediately. At some point you will either hear, “… and my bf and I” or you hear nothing of that genre. At the end you can ask for a number. That’s not exactly the end of the story. Most of the time, the conversation continues through text only for her to drop you before a date is planned. But it’s in any case a way better experience than Tinder, unless you’re some hunk who can write “6’4” on Tinder and get 100+ matches.

Aww man, throwing shade on my best lines, bruh

“Ay lemme taste the inside of your butthole gurl.”

🥵 I think I need a cold shower now

I’m old enough to remember life before the apps. I could never figure out how to make that work. Approaching girls was stressful and hard and there was a lot of ambiguity because you’d need like some ulterior motive for talking to them and then would have to shift to dating which I never had the confidence to do. Like I’d offer to send her some class notes or something and I’d get her email. But then what?

Just walking up to a random girl and saying:

I think you look cool, wanna grab some coffee?

Would have an extremely low success rate I’m sure. Girls need to feel comfortable first, after all strangers who approach you in a public place tend to be people you’d rather not talk to. Now if you’re at a bar and a friend introduces you and you have a conversation first, well that could work and it’s kinda how my parents and older cousins met in the pre-app days. But if you’re me in college and you’re an engineering nerd and have only a handful of equally nerdy friends, those conversations are hard to come by. And that’s the role the apps filled for me - the introduction.

Maybe women like not having men randomly coming up to them trying to express interest and pursue a date, and not having to deal with the fear of what they may do if rejected?

IDK I’m not a woman.

No, it won’t, because it has never not been creepy. People should be allowed to go into public without constantly being approached. The part you don’t get is that being asked out for coffee once is novel, twice is fun, but after that it gets old really fucking quick. I do not want to have to deal with that every time I just want to do some fucking laundry.

And 90% of the people who do/did this are legitimately creeps.

I agree, I’ll be honest that’s why I use these apps. Because when I’d try to just talk to a girl in person and be friendly I get the sense they think I’m either being creepy or want to get in their pants. When I’m just an introvert just trying to start up a conversation lol

I met my husband of 8.5 years on Craigslist Casual Encounters. Those were the times.

Now Craigslist, I have met friends for life.

Or at least the rest of it.

Well Match saw the success of Tinder so they switched a lot of their apps to do the same. Then they bought Tinder and filled it with ads and enshittified it. Then people flocked to other apps because the old ones were shit. Then Match bought those too and made them shitty too worth swiping and ads. There have been no stellar new apps so people are avoiding them. Eventually there will be a cool new dating app that people will flock to that Match will buy and not learn anything from the catalogue of apps their strategy has killed and they will make that one shitty too.

Right? Even OKCupid ditched their highly successful model in favor of swiping.

That was my experience as well. Before and during COVID (~2019-2021) I had matches and dates on Tinder consistently (depending on usage up to 1-3 per week) with most of them going somewhere. Had some of the best and most interesting connections in that time.

Found a GF, broke up 1.5 years later, and tried dating apps after some time again… Those were a shitshow now - the matches were noticeably worse and less frequent, even with the premium sub. I just gave up after some time.

i think that one might be called going outside, but as an avid inside enjoyer, i wouldn’t know anything about it.

Alovoa?

I see no reason that it couldn’t exist… the hard part is moderation I would assume

There is one it sucks

People don’t even use these apps to actually meet people. There are much better ways to actually meet people and we all know it. They all involve getting out and interacting with human beings in meatspace. We use these apps for parasocial stimulation. We look at the faces scroll by, gaze into their eyes, and it tricks our stupid brains into thinking we are having social interactions. That’s the actual product they are selling.

His description of how his analysis of the OKCupid questions discovered that there were 7 discrete cluster of personality that it would put you in was awesome.

He then make three profiles. One for each of the clusters he felt he was most like, but the profiles targeted the groups very specifically and so his matches started climbing like crazy.

After going on many many dates, he dropped two of the profiles because he found that he didn’t click with the women that they matched with.

The description of going on two dates to the same location in the same day with different women because ran out of novel date locations was hilarious.

Data science nerd out played a data driven system.

Does anyone have a link?

Facebook dating was decent when I tried it back in 2020/21. Tend to have more real people so more responses. You still have the difficulty of trying to connect with people or finding someone you like.

It sucks. Never shows me people in my city

No hot singles in my area :(

I have used it in the past. I feel that it’s more user friendly than many of the others. You have the option to message someone at the same time that you like them. You can see the likes that you get so you have the option to match immediately if you’re interested. As far as I know, there is no paid version.