Eating the proper amount is hard. Eating when you have low time, money, mental energy, or education on cooking is even harder.
This book assumes nothing. Do you know how to turn on your stove? You are properly prepared to use this cookbook.
Just want to share it with more folks!
Instant Noodles Carbonara
Cook instant noodles in a pan. Chuck an egg in and mash it about a bit.
When the water is nearly all gone, chuck in a load of cheese (I use strong cheddar and grated mozzarella) and a couple of chopped up Peperamis. Mix it all about until the cheese starts burning.
Eat that shit.
I really love Mexican food so sometimes my dinner is pulling a tortilla out of the bag and eating it.
If you pass this recipe on please give me credit.
Microwave it for two seconds first. 😙🤌🏻
Listen buddy, let’s be realistic, I’m no professional chef.
Lul this reminds me, we used to just chuck a few in a plastic bag and warm them up in the micro for like 15 seconds. No idea why, we had a stove and a comal to warm them up.
But I haaate waiting those 2 extra seconds 🤪
Then sprinkle in some sugar like you’re ‘salt bae’ o make it a gourmet dessert.
I do the same. Put some butter and Tabasco on it
Maybe brown some ground meat and scoop some on, with some chopped veggies and shredded cheese
This is now a taco. But any taco is a good taco. Carry on
That’s a 2 am staple. Especially when you roll in uo and pretend there’s actually stuff inside.
I would give credit, but your username being CarbonatedPastaSauce gives different expectations to any recipe with your name attached
To add my own bachelor chow to this
Meat of some kind these frozen vegetables And KD
What’s KD, precious?
Found the not Canadian
That doesn’t sound too hard. Most people are not Canadian.
Mac & Cheese, the polite weirdos to our north call it Kraft Dinner.
Either Kraft Dinner (Mac and cheese) or Kentucky Deluxe. Either way is sad.
what about craft dinner is sad? like I know it’s not top notch but i can’t say I ever felt like it was a bad thing
PBnJ. 3 ingredients.No cooking. Get lost with any cook book.
Incoming: peanut allergy
Skip the PB.
Nutella?
Do I look like I’m made of money?
I hate Walmart but honestly they make the best cheaper off-,brand I’ve found.
I don’t get this one, surely you can just buy pasta sauce instead and it’s exactly the same steps but better 🤔
This is for people who might not have pasta sauce in their pantry, but most people will have ketchup in the fridge.
100%, some of these recipes are “scavenge for food with things in the back of your fridge/pantry”
Or packets from a fast food restaurant
i once had a long article in a pre-internet punk 'zine about the different meals you can make with free food like condiments… salt pepper water ketchup mustard relish honey etc. it also taught how to use toothpaste as hair gel.
it was eye opening.
It doesn’t happen to still exist does it? Sounds like a very interesting read
i don’t have it. it was at Moby Disc record store in the 1990s, maybe someone collects 'zines.
I’m gonna try to search for it later today. Any details you can add would help a ton
paperback, like half a 8.5 x 11. cover was blue and included a drawing of a payphone. the zine also included punk album reviews.
i see archive.org/details/zines has a ton of sinilar
Grandma’s wartime recipe is this, but instead of ketchup you add canned concentrated tomato and equal amounts of water (just full the can once with water again, helps to get the last bit out) and that’s it. We call it red spaghetti, I make it for my kids from time to time, but this variation:
Grandma also added meatballs. Bake the small meatballs in a saucepan and when they’re done, do the tomato thing in that pan, stir well, then add to spaghetti. Can’t lose the grease, amirite…
Would be a great reaction meme if you took out cooking and centered the remaining text
I’ve been trying to learn more about GIMP, so here you go.
Oh wait, was I supposed to leave it slanted?
Ay, DIY gimp skills make a homemade meme truly tasty
Dear diary, today the internet delivered. Cheers to your GIMP learning journey!
Works either way, nice work.
Ahh this is not a “go buy” something recipe.
This is a “If you are thinking of not eating because you feel like you have nothing to eat, eat this instead”
I don’t like ketchup like that. Fries, sure. Burger? A little. This? This is fucking gross. I also knew someone that put it on their pizza. On the inverse, I can eat yellow mustard straight
Pasta and ketchup is a common meal in Paris according to the one French Netflix show I watched where they ate it and never commented about how absurd it is.
Maybe French ketchup is different than American ketchup?
Almost certainly
It’s almost certainly Heinz, and in no permutation you cannot find everywhere else in the world.
Probably doesn’t contain corn syrup.
I actually prefer to eat spaghetti this way instead of the sauce
Some heavy hitters here
Ah, I’ve been making these recipes for decades. It tracks with my cooking skills.
I’m so guilty of both
Pros: high protein food
Cons: makes a spoon dirty
Suggested improvements to recipe: note to thoroughly lick spoon clean, or use a finger to swipe up the peanut butter.
For me, I’m more concerned about getting bacteria into the highly nutritious PB. If you’re only eating one spoonful then fine. I wouldn’t stick a spoon that’s been in my mouth back into the container though. I have done this “meal” though, but I scoop how much I want into a bowl first. Maybe drizzle some honey or something onto it.
Butter knife it onto some crackers. (I prefer Ritz.) The knife never goes into the mouth so I can keep using it. Does make a mess on the counter or table if you don’t use a paper towel or plate(or bowl) to catch most of the crumbs. Guess you could eat over the sink…
Mix up your PB&J in a bowl. That shit is fire. Raspberry preserves are very good
Why is the spoon dirty? Just lick it until it’s clean of peanut butter and put it back in the drawer. /s
This comment is violence.
If you lick it clean and wipe it with a cloth it’s probably fine, but that’d be crossing a line for me. I’d rather put a weeks worth of spooned peanut butter in a bag and skooge it out.
Nah, let your dog lick it clean since they have cleaner mouths than us filthy humans. Whenever I’m done eating I just let my dog lick the plate/bowl/whatever clean and then it’s good to go back in the cupboard.
This was the premise of one of those ‘that really happened’ reddit stories.
Use napkin for remaining peanut butter before you put it in the sink. Then it will make the spoon less intimidating to wash.
Have you been reading my diary?
Warning: do NOT overdo peanut butter on a spoon if you have a dry mouth
Some days, you need a reminder that eating anything is better than eating nothing.
Seeing this post prompted me to cook for myself, thank you for sharing this valuable resource 😊
I had no idea I was qualified to be a cookbook author.
I need this book.
Click download! PDF is free.
I want PAY
There is a link to buy a physical copy if you like.
I substituted a knife for the spoon and I feel like it still came out ok.
As long as it’s not a fork you’re good.
Works for crunchy. Any thick peanut butter really
Tastes like it has a little extra iron in it
That’s the blood from the cuts in your tongue.
It’s not as funny when you point out the joke
Best is when you’re at the end and you bring out the spatula. It’s like a mini Christmas.
That is the most important tool in my kitchen.
You know you were gonna have a second serving anyway, may as well just skip the trouble and have both at once.
★☆☆☆☆
Substituted a knife for the spoon and caulk for peanut butter. Awful taste, horrible recipe. Do not recommend. Would put zero stars but it won’t let me.
Karen, MO
Thank you for sharing this. Not only am I finding useful depression cooking ideas here but it also seems like a great “intro to cooking” book and just a “fuck I’m out of everything but don’t feel like going to the store” kind of cookbook
Thanks for sharing! I feel like I know some folks who need this in case of emergency. Will be passing it along to several friends…
This made my night. What a well-written and kind product
I love the concept of this book but was pretty disappointed by the actual recipes tbh.
The title is quite literal. It’s not “some simple tasty recipes”, it’s depression-level-bare-minimum-effort-food ;)
You might not be the target audience. I’m not currently the target audience either.
My wife and I are really into cooking. We have a whole bookshelf of cookbooks, a metrowire rack full of “kitchen stuff” and we use it daily.
There was definitely a time when this book would have been perfect. This book seems to cover a lot of stuff that’s obvious to me now but wasn’t always.
If you’re food plan is a bulk package of Ramen, any help on how to make it not the same as every other day is culinary gold.
Same here. Last time this was shared I found a single recipe kind of interesting, but not enough for me to actually memorize what it was.
Thinking back, it was probably the Mac and Cheese one, and I had already wanted to try to make it anyway (it’s not a very common dish in my country, or at least my circle)
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When I discovered this cookbook, I printed it out on regular printer paper and spent an hour or two hardcover binding it with a bookcloth spine and fancy foreign cover papers with gold foil and flocking. It looks so nice!
Then I immediately had to use it because I can manage professionally binding a shitty printout of the Sad Bastard Cookbook, but I cannot adequately feed myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This cookbook is great!
Quite possibly the most glowing review/recommendation for the book. Clearly a motivated and talented individual, but they STILL need help cooking!
Okay this made me tear up and is perfect. Peanut Butter On A Spoon is a large percentage of what i have been eating lately. I feel seen.
Some days, or weeks, it’s enough!
Maybe shake it up from time to time with something else from the book, but I understand where some months eating enough to keep the stomach pains away is just all that can be done.
Yes! Very luckily my health flares only seem to get real bad for a few days at a time nowadays, so i do have some “real food” mixed in, but as a person who has been struggling with shame about eating less well than i wish i could on those days it is very nice to be reminded that food, literally any food at all, is good enough and in fact an act of love toward myself. Excited to peruse the book for some more ideas
I’ll share my recipe since it isn’t in the book.
Block of Smoked Tofu
Preparation: cut open the packaging with a knife, put on a plate, and eat with your hands.
Smoked tofu tastes good enough to eat it by itself, and it’s a great source of protein and fat.
I would steal this if I wasn’t allergic to soy XD
I tried tofu once. I didn’t super love it, but I’ll give it another shot
Yeah, tofu by itself can be very boring, but it really shines with the right spices or marinade. The simplest way to make tofu that still tastes great is to cut it up, put the pieces in a container with a tablespoon of soy sauce and some Sriracha (amount depending on your chili tolerance), and shake the container. Then you can use it in many ways, for example by placing it on something that is releasing a lot of steam, like rice that is almost done cooking.
I also eat raw smoked tofu blocks sometimes, but try cutting it into strips and sautéing them if you really want to give it a shot. You can eat that with whatever you like your fries with. I tend to go for a sriracha mayo.
Before you cut it up, drain any water from it, and wrap it in a clean dish towel, then press it under a cutting board or something flat for like 20 seconds on each side. If you get extra firm smoked tofu, that should be all you really need to do, but you can also toss it in seasoned flour (or a seasoned 1:1 mixture of flour and corn starch) first
There are so many different types of tofu and different ways to prepare them that all taste vastly different. That stuff is basically a blank canvas.
It was in ramen and got soggy
Try baking it next time
I’m in a motel with only a microwave and mini fridge at the moment (and for the foreseeable future) so unfortunately I can’t bake. Is grilled tofu a thing? They have some grills outside
I’ve never been so bold. Maybe if you wrap it in foil with some sauce and veggies.
Yeah, I was thinking it would probably need to be wrapped
I find it’s key to squeeze out the water with tofu so it can absorb the flavors you’ve adding. I place it between two plates with some weight on top (a pound or so is plenty) for like 10 minutes, then squish the plates together a bit over the sink to drain and that’s usually plenty. Fish sauce makes a nice flavoring if you’re into that.
my favorite depression meal is an easy rice and beans. buy those flavored rice sides that come in a bag, chicken flavor is a good default option. cook it per instructions, then throw in a drained can of black beans and whatever frozen veggies sound good. don’t even bother heating up the beans or veggies, there’s enough heat in the rice that everything ends up nice and warm. just give it all a stir and you’re done.
the rice sides have enough flavor to make everything taste good as is, but there’s definitely room to toss in whatever spices are within arms reach that sound good.
My favorite depression meal is drugs and sleep.
Sometimes I have this just for fun, as a treat.
And my absolute fave depression breakfast is waking up on the sofa still drunk, just in time to get ready for work
