when yall stop making eye contact, you’ve truly lost your humanity
Some of us are autistic, Harold.
i’m on the spectrum myself, but i was raised before awareness was widespread. i overcame it, and i’m thankful because it’s a lonely place inside my head compared to the joy of sharing interactions with people IRL.
That’s absolutely fair; I guess, more so, what I was trying to push against is the implication that eye contact is a necessary component of sharing interactions with people IRL (and, rather, it’s perfectly possible to be IRL with others without eye contact), if that distinction makes more sense.
Right but also people rarely expect constant 100% eye contact. The occasional glance to show connection is actually more than enough for basically everyone and can be learned to done pretty easily. Its not needed but even the simple glance of eye contact makes people feel way more seen and heard.
Then you can just talk past each other the rest of the time as is standard.This. Just 3 or 4 seconds of contact, then look away. A minute or 2 later, do it again. It becomes ingrained eventually. Don’t stare into someone’s soul the entire time. That’s creepy and can be taken as aggression.
Depends, it seems quite inhuman to make eye contact while in an online text conversation. Can you imagine you are typing a response on Lemmy and suddenly some eyes appear on your screen looking at you from the post you are responding to?
yes, but that assumes that there is some human quality to the internet. yes, we post emojis and people love cat pics, but there’s still something inherently plastic about all of this - something deeply human that is lost in binary translation, which is why it’s important that we hold on to simple things like using our voices and making eye contact IRL.
Conversely there is something deeply inhuman about the way people IRL constantly lie to each other (often hidden behind euphemisms like “politeness” or “etiquette”) and only talk to those where the first visual impression conforms to their prejudices on who might be interesting or pleasant to talk to.
For those with aphantasia, simply open a terminal on your Linux machine and run
xeyeswhile you read this comment thread.
It’s not so much that I can’t make phone calls, as much as I don’t want to. 75% of the time you just end up playing phone tag, and I’d rather just email so they can reply at their convenience and there’s no question about who said what
Along with the fact that any more when you HAVE to call, it’s going to be dealing with a bullshit auto answering system that leads you in circles and intentionally misunderstands you.
This is the problem.
I needed a car battery the other day and just wanted to know if it was in stock because it’s a little uncommon. I went online, it said they did, went to the store, they didn’t, told me to call and verify because online updates overnight.
I called 4 different stores, nobody answered the first 3, 4th one rang forever, then an auto answering thing kept me for 5 minutes and when no option helped me it said “try again later, goodbye.”
Usually with automated systems hitting whatever option gets you to a human no matter how wrong it is will get you to the right place eventually
Some do some don’t. I love to play the mash buttons and hope for a real person game but more often lately it just ignores you or says that isn’t an input and keeps you locked in the automated, cause their just isn’t a person on the other side being paid to actually pick up a phone.
You play phone tag because people REALLY hate being called
You want something done? You march into someone’s office. And when I say march, I mean march.
It actually (eventually) did work for me when a dealer sold me a car with a blown engine. Had to threaten legal action, but it started with a phone call, then a march to the office.
We already do now if they learn the dark art of not giving random people their entire lifesavings to a Nigerian prince via text…
I am extremely introverted, but working as a software engineer in a consultancy where the owner wanted engineers to be on the end of phones for clients was in many ways a godsend. The secret of calls is that everyone also hates it. The secret of eye contact is that the other person hates it too, so just do it enough to show that you’ve tried and that’s the acceptable norm.
Phone calls are a trap. Little good comes from answering them.
My coworker spent 30 minutes trying to find another way to contact a vendor after I told her the easiest way to order the thing she needed was just to call and it would take 2 minutes. I hate calling too, but that’s just dumb. Or maybe I just like efficiency more than I hate the phone.
At work at least I have a script I can follow. I am The Role.
But please don’t make me order a pizza after work hours
There is a script between you and the business. Learn it, master it
I mean, if there’s a fully functional way to order online, why would you call? I just prefer a phone call when something would take paragraphs to explain or if there really isn’t an easy way to do something via a website/email.
Tbh I call because
“Pick up or delivery?”
“Pick up.”
"Name?
“[Name Redacted]”
“Alright and what can I get ya?”
“16” pepperoni, jalapeno, pineapple, that’s it."
“Alright 20min”
Is like a 1min conversation, and I’d rather do that than get charged $5 more for using online.
Some of the online ordering services are sneaky and bake their fee into the prices of the items you order, so it’s not even clear that you pay extra. My despise of that practice motivates me to call in my orders.
Or maybe I just like efficiency more than I hate the phone.
This is me. Texting is great for simple questions but if any sort of extended back and forth is needed just calling tends to be faster.
phone calls
Even Boomers know not to answer their phones anymore
Firm handshakes.
No, millennials with rich parents will inherit the Earth.
They’ll leave it all to their least empathetic, most entitled, most selfish brat of the litter.
The one’s they see themselves in.
We had a new Engineer start, fresh out of college, and he was terrified to call people at first. Now, only a few months later, he much prefers it as a more effective means of communicating.
I had a job where I made 20+ calls per day. I worked there for almost 2 years, and hated it just as much the day i quit as the day i started. They weren’t even particularly difficult calls, just processing orders and looking up part numbers.
That being said now I sit in zoom meetings which don’t seem that different but I find them 100x less stressful.
My very first job, right out of school and before Uni, turned out to be almost only be “make calls” (not a call-center or anything, it was administrative tasks that required calling partnered businesses).
I only had that job for 6months or so, but I’m glad I had it. I still prefer Mail, but very often making a quick call is the way to go, and not being afraid of them makes your life way easier.
Edit: forgot to say, I’m Gen Z I guess.
Millennial with the opposite experience here. Once upon a time I’d use the phone all the time, could spend hours wandering the house and talking with friends, and calling anyone for any purpose was never a problem.
Then I got a job answering phones for Comcast, was there less than a year before I quit. It’s been about two decades since then but it installed a hatred of phones in me that has lasted to this day.
I worked in a callcenter for 4 years. I have zero fear of work calls, but I still avoid calls to a rediculous extent in my personal life
The youngest millennials are turning 30, what you have there is a gen Z engineer.
Whoa, how did that happen?
So an Engen-Z-er?
I’ll show myself out
My problem is, if I call someone and they lie to me I’m the one who gets fucked, if I send an email they get fucked if they lie.
Do both.
Absolutely a concern. But calls build rapport, which makes people more likely to help you.
So that’s the question you always need to be asking: do I need this in writing? If not, then a call is enough. If you do, then even if you do call, insist on getting the info in writing. Sometimes this means writing the email yourself, and asking them to confirm.
This is why I never read my work emails
Something that has me feeling old as shit is youngsters use loud speaker in public, on the bus, in city centre, now this would make sense to me if they were in a group but nope its just one person and I hear the entire conversation from both sides.
Honestly, that’s the best critique I’ve heard of this, so far; so much of us complaining about people’s noise in public just reminds me of the adults in our youth and just…I dunno, rubs me the wrong way.
It isn’t even just “youngsters” at this point, it’s people in basically every possible demographic, and it’s absolutely infuriating. It’s literally never been easier to consume vast amounts of media privately, even in public. With shit like the Apple Vision or other headsets and a good pair of noise canceling headphones, you could literally be watching the dirtiest porn imaginable and no one would be the wiser, and yet people feel the need to assault everyone around them with their awful taste in content. And no, the type of content doesn’t matter, I don’t care if it’s Lil Nas X, Bach, the Beatles, your favorite YouTuber, a TED Talk, or anything else. If you’re playing it over a speaker in public, it’s awful.
I also don’t need to hear about your brother’s tragic drug problems over speakerphone while I’m shopping for groceries, I don’t want to hear your obnoxiously loud TikToks while I’m taking a shit, and you can put your game of fucking Candy Crush on mute while you’re on a redeye 8hr international flight and people are trying to sleep.
Yeah I guess we mocked those Bluetooth earpieces too much because now I wish everyone had one cause I’m so tired of people holding their phone 4 feet from their face at max volume yelling their conversation.
I’m a millennial and I’m fine at work with eye contact and whatnot (it’s uncomfortable, but I’m a manager now and do it regularly), but I detest phone calls. I don’t understand why, I’m fine going in to an institution to get stuff done, but the thought of calling someone is super intimidating for some reason. And I grew up with a landline at home and didn’t get a cell phone (i.e. no SMS) until I went to college. So it’s not like I was conditioned to avoid calls, I just grew to hate them for some reason.
That said, when I do call, I generally get things done much more quickly, so it’s completely irrational. Yet here we are. I have to give myself a small pep talk before pressing the call button.
I take 30-40 calls daily, before this job I would never call, now I feel very comfortable calling, but I will still never ever answer an unknown call outside of work.
Do you feel like it’s hard to understand people who are talking clearly when you’re on the phone? I do.
Not usually, but I do find I have to pay closer attention for whatever reason.
Literally everything I learned in my high school careers class was useless because the world changed so much because of the internet getting more and more mainstream. Was told to keep calling and asking about applications; nobody actually answers the phone. Was told to collect and fill out applications in person; everyone moved to online-only applications. Was told to dress like I’m going to church for interviews; most interviews I’ve had were group interviews and 90% of the other applicants just wore jeans and t-shirts. Was taught to meet the higher ups so they would get to know me; the higher ups aren’t even on site except maybe once in a blue moon because something went wrong.
Make something go wrong, then
Force the target to come to you. Brilliant.
This but unironically. Seems like everyone works through recruiters now, because they’ve effectively outsourced HR.
Padding your LiinkedIn profile and dangling yourself like bait in front of recruitment firms (or just going through campus recruiters if you’re in college) is the best way to land a job that isn’t a series of MLM scams.
But you still have to wade your way through a surplus of MLM scams.
Employment fairs are fun
It’s a low bar, but they manage to be more fun than simply going on the computer and filling out a thousand applications
Some employers were happy with merely the quality of paper of my CV. Gave a good first impression, although they did direct me to a sign up link. It is worth noting that they were small businesses, though
“I’m a mover and a shaker! Watch this!”
I’m a millennial. I’m nearly 41. I’m the director of department.
I am also a fun little trash goblin on the weekends.
We can be competent at work and fun friendly people.
I find all this generational ontology very tiring nowadays
Always has been, stupid way to needlessly divide people
Thats exactly what a boomer would say
/s
What an Amos thing to say
What was she wearing?
