Just send her responses to your own chatgpt. Let them duke it out
I love the idea of this. Eventually the couple doesn’t argue anymore. Anytime they have a disagreement they just type it into the computer and then watch TV together on the couch while ChatGPT argues with itself, and then eventually there’s a “ding” noise and the couple finds out which of them won the argument.
Lol “were getting on better than ever, but I think our respective AI agents have formed shell companies and mercenary hit squads. They’re conducting a war somewhere, in our names, I think. It’s getting pretty rough. Anyway, new episode of great British baking show is starting, cya”
Ok this is an excellent idea for a short story. Or at least a song. It’s got echoes of “all she wants to do is dance”.
The sequel to Zizek’s perfect date.
ChatGPT can’t remember its own name or who made it, any attempt by ChatGPT to deconstruct an argument just results in a jumbled amalgam of argument deconstructions, fuck off with such a fake post.
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Ok, is this a thing now? I don’t think I’d want to be in what is essentially a relationship with chat GPT…
No… everything on AITA has always been fake bullshit
Yes… I know some people who rely exclusively on Chatgpt to meditate their arguments. Their reasoning is that it allows them to frame their thoughts and opinions in a non-accusatory way.
My opinion is that chatgpt is a sycophant that just tries to agree with everything you say. Garbage in, garbage out. I suppose if the argument is primarily emotionally driven, with minimal substance, then having Chatgpt be the mediator might be helpful.
Well, it literally is a yes man, it guesses what words are the most appropriate response to the words you said.
How would it be any different if she had been using Google? Just like…vibes?
The issue is that chatgpt’s logic works backwards - they take the prompts as fact, then find sources to back up the things stated in the prompt. And additionally, chatgpt will frame the argument in a seemingly reasonable and mild tone so as to make the argument appear unbiased and balanced. It’s like the entirety of r/relationshipadvice rolled into one useless, billion-dollar spambot
If someone isn’t aware of the sycophant nature of chatgpt, it’s easy to interpret the response as measured and reliable. When the topic of using chatgpt as relationship advice comes up (it happens concerningly often), I make a point to show that you can get chatgpt to agree with virtually anything you say, even in hypothetical cases where it’s absurdly clear that the prompter is in the wrong. At least Google won’t tell you that beating your wife is OK
On the one hand, better chatGPT than the guy she’s cheating with, on the other hand, if you can tell how inappropriate that is and she can not, maybe you are not meant for each others?
chatgpt says you’re insecure
“jubilationtcornpone says ChatGpt is full of shit.”
Run Forrest, run!!
“If you love ChatGPT so much why don’t you marry it!?”
Huh huh!
I miss Paul Ruben :(
Easy, just fine-tune your favorite llm to say you’re always right 😹
What could possibly go wrong.
For real though this is a pretty good way to cope with communication breakdown. Idk why the poster of this comment doesn’t try using chatGPT therapy as well.
Something that gets ignored in these comments is that not everyone is as comfortable in a verbal communication altercation. My partner prefers that I write down my thoughts and give her some time to digest and formulate responses. Using ChatGPT to do this a bit on the fly might speed up our communication. This is of course assuming that everyone is doing this with honest intentions, not just using LLMs as a weapon.
Good point, there’s no point in communication with someone acting in bad faith.
I love the idea your wife has about writing arguments down! Feels like it would help give structure too, so many arguments I have meander from disagreeing about detail to detail.
I think she’s using it less as therapy and more as a way to win arguments is the problem
I’m thinking the poster could easily use chatGPT the same way as his opponent, there is no advantage to one side or the other here.
The main value in introducing a third party (which in this case is software) is to take ego out of an argument and start arguing against a problem rather than a person. This is why I referred to it as therapy. chatGPT is an echo chamber of human writing with a few guardrails, much like speaking with an impartial therapist.
If your partner is an “opponent” in an argument, then you’ve lost the plot of your relationship. It’s you and your partner against the issue, not against each other.
Not if he’s vegan. Vegans can’t use ChatGPT.
my wife likes to jump from one to another when I try and delve into any particular aspect of an argument. I guess what im saying is arguments are going to always suck and not necessarily be rationale. chatgpt does not remember every small detail as she is the one inputting the detail.
I’m a programmer, I’ve already argued with chatgot more than any woman.
You are not married, I can tell.
I haven’t seen the Tunak Tunak Tun (Dahler Mehdni) guy in forever!
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Also treat it as permanent, like it was intended to be. Lots of people nowadays don’t treat “till death do us part” seriously.
NTA but I think it’s worth trying to steel-man (or steel-woman) her point.
I can imagine that part of the motivation is to try and use ChatGPT to actually learn from the previous interaction. Let’s leave the LLM out of the equation for a moment: Imagine that after an argument, your partner would go and do lots of research, one or more of things like:
- read several books focusing on social interactions (non-fiction or fiction or even other forms of art),
- talk in-depth to several experienced therapist and/or psychology researchers and neuroscientists (with varying viewpoints),
- perform several scientific studies on various details of interactions, including relevant physiological factors, Then after doing this ungodly amount of research, she would go back and present her findings back to you, in hopes that you will both learn from this.
Obviously no one can actually do that, but some people might – for good reason of curiosity and self-improvement – feel motivated to do that. So one could think of the OP’s partner’s behavior like a replacement of that research.
That said, even if LLM’s weren’t unreliable, hallucinating and poisoned with junk information, or even if she was magically able to do all that without LLM and with super-human level of scientific accuracy and bias protection, it would … still be a bad move. She would still be the asshole, because OP was not involved in all that research. OP had no say in the process of formulating the problem, let alone in the process of discovering the “answer”.
Even from the most nerdy, “hyper-rational” standpoint: The research would be still an ivory tower research, and assuming that it is applicable in the real world like that is arrogant: it fails to admit the limitations of the researcher.
Two options.
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Dump her ass yesterday.
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She trusts ChatGPT. Treat it like a mediator. Use it yourself. Feed her arguments back into it, and ask it to rebut them.
Either option could be a good one. The former is what I’d do, but the latter provides some emotional distance.
She trusts ChatGPT. Treat it like a mediator. Use it yourself. Feed her arguments back into it, and ask it to rebut them.
Let’s you and other you fight.
Just ask them to now ask GPT to give a detailed rebuttal to everything that was just input, then watch them squirm, then dump.
I like that the couple’s arguments becomes a proxy war between two instances of chatgpt.
- She trusts ChatGPT. Treat it like a mediator. Use it yourself. Feed her arguments back into it, and ask it to rebut them.
Basically the dating scene will be chat bots talking to each other
Online dating is basically like that. When i use a dating app, most women live close by and are Asian, mostly chinese. Which is interesting, because where i live, i see maybe 4 chinese people a year. They are all tea merchants and live with their sister/relatives and really want my whatsapp. They are often bots, but sometimes a real person takes over. I like to tell them outrageous shit, until a human has to take over. What i do now is that they always ask what i work, and i tell them i’m a tea merchant. Which either results in a unmatch, or a: cool, i’m a tea merchant. Some of them are really fucking good, and online dating will be gone for good if they get any better. I’m pretty sure a lot of chatbots talk to each other on these platforms, because they auto match anyone and either start talking or answer themselves
Why do they unmatch when you say you’re a tea merchant?
I would guess that it’s either them noticing that they are wasting time or saying that you also are a “tea merchant” means that you are also doing the same scam and there is no point in 2 scammers wasting time talking to each other
Oh. My small brained mind thought that the Asian people he met irl are actual tea merchants, not scammers pretending to be tea merchants.
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This man is probably an asshole and this woman is probably smarter than him.
If she’s using ChatGPT to try and understand behavioural psychology, she’s not smarter than him.
It would be one thing to go off and do some reading and come back with some resources and functional strategies for OP to avoid argumentative fallacies and navigate civil discourse, but she’s using a biased generative AI to armchair diagnose her boyfriend.
“you don’t have the emotional bandwidth to understand what I’m saying” okay, so what if he doesn’t, now what lady? Does ChatGPT have a self development program so your boyfriend can develop the emotional intelligence required to converse with you?
Picking apart an argument is not how you resolve an argument, ChatGPT is picking it apart because she’s prompting it to do that, where as a therapist or couple’s counsellor would actually help address the root issues of the argument.
He’s probably gaslighting her and she doesn’t have anyone else to turn to for a reality check.
His question amounts to ‘how can I continue to shape her reality with my narrative?’
It doesn’t matter what chatgpt or anyone else says, he ought to be able to answer reasonable questions. Note that he doesn’t provide any specific examples. He would get roasted in the comment section.
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Like her need for him to answer reasonable questions? Why does the origin of the question pose a threat and why doesn’t he give examples? He’s like the rando poster who says ‘hey guys I forgot the passcode to my iPhone, got a workaround for that?’ okay buddy, so you stole a phone then.
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Are you saying it would be preferable if she was given the same advice from a human or read it in a book? This guy cannot defend his point of view because it’s probably not particularly defensible, the robot is immaterial.
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Okay so you don’t trust the robot to give relationship advice, even if that advice is identical to what humans say. The trouble is we never really know where ideas come from. They percolate up into consciousness, unbidden. Did I speak to a robot earlier? Are you speaking to a robot right now? Who knows. All I know is that when someone I love and respect asks me to explain myself I feel that I should do that no matter what.
“Guinan from my Star Trek AI chatbot says you’re acting immature!”
“Yeah, so what? My Mom (not AI chatbot) says that I am allowed to be upset!”
And that’s this Guinan!
