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How can I expand it to that size?
Expand the pumpkin to the size of your …?
I meant expanding my anus to fit a pumpkin in, but OK…
Practice and dedication.
If you know someone with chickens, give your pumpkins to them. The chickens love to eat the insides all the way to the edge of the rind. It is also supposed to be a natural dewormer.
Farm period. Cows/goats/horses/pigs all love pumpkin. Plus when they crap out the seeds, you’re going to find a bunch of pumpkins in the fields
I didn’t know this … Good tip. My retired hen is going to eat well tomorrow
I bet the inside of a pumpkin feels like… really really good.
I hear coconut is a real treat
Look, I’m just saying I’ve seen two videos of people doing it for the meme.
Not as good as a warm apple pie.
Mmmm… there’s nothing quite like warm, pumpkin pie
Stop
That’s what the pumpkin told them, too!
Collaborate
wait a minute
Toss them in the woods, deer fuckin love pumpkin
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were travelling abroad and needed a place to sleep for the night. They stopped at a farm and asked the farmer if they could sleep there. The farmer said “Yes, you can. But all of you must promise not to have sex with my beautiful daughter.” They all solemnly agreed and were shown to their room for the night.
One by one though, each of them was overcome by temptation and sneaked down the hall to farmer’s daughter’s bedroom to have their wicked way with her.
I’m the morning they came downstairs and were greeted by the farmer. “Good morning!” he said, “I hope you all slept well. Take a basket each and go out and pick something from my farm to eat for breakfast”. Being very hungry from their travels they all eagerly went out to look for their favourite food.
The first to return was the Englishman. The farmer was waiting for him - with a loaded shotgun. “I know what you did last night!” shouted the farmer, pointing his gun at the Englishman. The Englishman threw his hands up in the air, dropping the basket of strawberries he’d picked for breakfast. “Bend over and put those strawberries up your arse and let that be a lesson to you!” The Englishman did as he was told and pushed the strawberries up his bum. Seeing that the farmer was satisfied the Englishman ran out the door and off into the distance.
Next to return was the Scotsman. “What did you pick for breakfast young man?” asked the farmer. “I picked carrots” answered the Scotsman. “Well put them up your arse you dirty bastard!” screamed the farmer, pulling out the shotgun “I know what you did last night!” “Please dont shoot me sir!” Cried the Scotsman, as he painfully pushed each of the carrots up his bum before making a break for it and running out of the house.
Last to return was the Irishman, carrying his basket on his back. “You dirty lying son of a bitch!” screamed the farmer “You had sex with my daughter last night!” “Now tell me what you picked for breakfast.”
The Irishman heaved his basket onto the floor with a thud.
They both looked down at its contents.
“I picked a pumpkin sir.”
The version I know is that they will only live if they can stick the fruit/vegetable in their ass without making a sound, and they were shot because they couldn’t stop giggling because they saw the third guy carrying <whatever large produce>.
Man that is dark!
That man’s name, Goatse.
I was thinking more like a 1Guy1Jar type of thing, but with a pumpkin. At least it won’t shatter into glass shards this time!
(I can still clearly hear the sound of the glass after all these years…)
At a medium pace.
Interesting :3
Toasted pumpkin seeds:
Using running water seperate seeds from pumpkin guts. Soak them in salt water while you carve. Preheat and bake at 220C for 15-20 mins. Eat them whole.
I had an elementary school teacher who would ask all of us to save the seeds when making jack o lanterns and give it to her. She’d then make a ton of roasted pumpkin seeds and share it with us and some kids from other classes who brought seeds.
They are pretty good. Highly recommend.
Insert them whole.
Insert them. Hole.
Try finger, but hole
Or rather than soak them, you can manually separate them, oil and salt them, then cook them on a lower setting until they start to go golden brown.
Use it as a helmet at the Motocross!
Pumpkin curry is sooooo good.
It’s not a waste if its sole purpose for existing is to rot on porches. It’s just a bonus if you can squeeze out another use, like becoming an emergency room curiosity.
It’s still waste even if the primary purpose is wasteful.
Of all the things to worry about when it comes to waste Halloween doesn’t even scartch the surface for me
Still waiting on someone to talk about how fishing nets are 50% of the plastic in our oceans
Halloween food - no.
Halloween plastic decorations, wrapping, costumes… yeah, we can do without
Well, this is talking about food waste, not pollution. Even if it rots and doesn’t do anything, worst case it’s a pile of bio-matter. The land, and everything involved in growing them could be used for actual food though, which could decrease food prices potentially.
It’s low priority for sure.
Is entertainment wasteful?
Sometimes! I think pumpkins are fairly harmless though
Pumpkins are pretty low on my priority list, but entertainment isn’t really a good reason to throw useful stuff away. It’s a waste of water, waste of growing space, waste of fuel for harvest and transportation, and obviously a waste of food.
what if I burn it for heat afterwards?
Anything is better than the garbage. Pretty sure.
And people don’t realize just how much growing space pumpkins need!
Technically you can grow them with corn, but the US doesn’t do companion planting so 🤷♀️
Yeah there definitely won’t be enough room in there.
Frequently, yes.
It certainly can be
Golf courses come to mind
Or cruise ships
Squirrels seem to eat them IIRC
Wait, why would it become an emergency room curiosity? Ohhhhh, missed that last part. Gourds really are nature’s dildo.
Consider my gourd
Perfectly shaped
deleted by creator
As all things should be.
Trans girls never waste pumpkins 😤
tsk white people amiright smh head pumpkins don’t have a flared base
they do if you take it by the stem
that’s not satisfying at all tho
It’s disgraceful that we grow food to deliberately throw away.
Eh it’s better than making plastic shite to deliberately throw away
No, we shouldn’t be doing that either.
Two things can be bad.
I hate the “this thing is worse so let’s not talk about that” mentality, as if you’ve never held two opinions at the same time.
beats straw, which is fully inedible
In the times of yore a small group of people tossed some tea into a harbour and set about a revolution.
Today, we must put an end to the tyranny. The quickening pace and further encroachment upon our livelihoods demands pumpkin spice be put to waste.
The future depends on it.
