A small bright spot in a dark timeline.
But a federal judge in Texas ordered a hearing into how the Onion – known for bite – won the bidding, after Jones and his lawyers raised questions about how the auction was conducted.
Yeah, seems like there was some behind the scenes work so that the onion could buy it, we’ll see if it stands up in the (I assume deeply corrupt…) bankruptcy court. God, I hope it does…
It’s not some secret, I think it was in the AP reporting. The victims took a lower offer for the asset from The Onion because they didn’t want it to continue to spread hate.
Just when the country needed a laugh the most, The Onion went and did the funniest thing they could possibly do. This is a wonderful morning.
My absolute favorite part of this is that they also own his supplement business now.
Active ingredients:
Salt
Isn’t it usually sugar? (With a big helping of snake oil.)
As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.
His supplement business was under the same business ownership? That’s preposterously stupid and hilarious.
I’m not exactly shocked he was that stupid, but yeah, that made me laugh the hardest.
He’s been very transparent in his attempts to move stuff around, telling his audience exactly what he’s been up to.
They might have bid on both.
I’m not an MBA why is this a bad idea?
He kept his two income streams tied together, so that when one ran into trouble it took the other one down with it. He could have just as easily kept the business separate and potentially been able to keep one of the income streams working when the shit hit the fan.
I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out if this was just an Onion headline … only to realize it is indeed an Onion headline … this is beautiful
Everything about this brings me joy. I was hoping it would be Cards Against Humanity, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is even better.
I was hoping it would be Knowledge Fight and they’d just subtly transform the content, so as to wean the existing audience into actual facts (e: Dan does a helluvan Alex impression), but the schadenfreude here is very nice.
I hope they do what the Colbert Report did, keep the inforwars name and let it be a right wing lampooning.
I love that
They’re turning the freaking frogs gay!
is now officially an Onion story.
Also that was the only conspiracy he covered that was slightly grounded in reality. The atrazine poisoning was hermaphrodizing the frogs. Of course more regulation to stop pollution is not a solution that dumbfuck jones would support…:
I don’t like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the fricking frogs trans
No no, that water was for all our illegal immigrants in prison.
In case you haven’t seen it:
My favourite is the Indie Folk song version: https://youtu.be/KGAAhzreGWw?si=DNESi3LCH85MMLXP
That’s amazing! But fuck it for putting naked Alex Jones in my head. I was hoping to sleep peacefully tonight.
:)
Spyware free link: https://youtu.be/KGAAhzreGWw
Thanks. Lemmy.world should get a bot going for this or something.
I’d like to respond with:
Kinky.
I will gladly eat that onion.
Time to start working on my alternative writing personality, trans socialist Jordane Petersburg. Or should I be Bo Rogaine?
Be sure to give your self a military background as an antifa paratrooper super soldier. Maybe get a J6er as the pfp.
I love this so much. It’s perfect!
As a policy wonk I feel that this was the correct buyer. Damn, it couldn’t be funnier. The Onion now owns Alex Jones’ former twitter account.
Right? I haven’t listened to knowledge fight in a minute, but I’m sure looking for their upcoming episodes.
It will be fun if The Onion and Infowars use this to satirize the presidential debates.
Dr jones naturals is still online.
Didn’t he transfer that to his dad? He’s been very public about illegally subverting parts of his judgement by transferring some ownership to his dad.
I can’t not read that in the little Asian kid’s voice from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Because it’s owned by his father. It’s a workaround to sell supplements.
The hilarious part is infowars.com is going to troll Alex Jones new site so hard.
I’m being a lazy sack. I skimmed the article but didn’t find an amount they won it for, has anyone seen how much they just paid the man who needs to pay his dues?
They paid him nothing. The auction was for the settlement of debts in bankruptcy court. Basically, the courts seized his assets including Infowars and auctioned them off to cover the outstanding debts owed.
Per NPR: The sale, which still needs to be approved by a bankruptcy judge, includes Jones’ studio and equipment, his lucrative online nutritional supplement store, domain names, customer lists and some of his social media accounts.
So it’ll be fun when all settled
Oh fuck yeah let me get my popcorn. Peice of shit deserves all that.
In order to make the bid work, the families “agreed to forgo a portion of their recovery to increase the overall value of The Onion’s bid, enabling its success,” the families said in a statement.
The power of unity and determination beautifully demonstrated.
That is also one of they ways we can stop gun violence. Bring back the sense of community and being one people. Also common sense gun reforms.
Is this what being on drugs is like in normal times?
