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Canyonaro is far superior
Thats how we view American cars, especially pickups that nobody needs and SUVs that have never seen a path that needed 4WD here in Europe.
Pickups, SUVs, and Vans in America are getting unreasonably large because of poorly-written environmental regulation.
In the mid-2000s, automakers were classifying everything as a “truck” to skirt CAFE (fuel economy) standards. The tilling point was the PT Cruiser being regulated as a truck. So, starting in 2012, CAFE standards started to be based on vehicle footprint.
Ever notice how all the little trucks like the S-10, Dakota, and the old-style Ranger all had 2011-ish as their last year model?
Suddenly, small trucks became effectively illegal, and as fuel economy standards get tougher every few years, the automakers have learned it’s easier to just make the footprint bigger than it is to make the fuel economy better. They’ve since re-released the Ranger, but now it’s bigger than the F-150 used to be.
And now it’s hit the vans. CAFE outran the small cargo van footprints, so the Nissan NV200, Ford Transit Connect, and RAM Promaster City have all been discontinued in the last 2-3 years because they can’t make cargo-hauling vehicles that size any longer.
New York City’s Taxi Fleet changed to NV200s a few years back to improve accessibility, and now they can’t buy replacement vehicles without either dropping the accessibility and going small or moving to fuck-you-sized vehicles.
The one neat thing though is the Ford Maverick. It’s a small 4-seat truck with a half-size bed that comes standard as a hybrid (trafitional ICE is an “upgrade” so it meets CAFE) for like 25 grand. The only real problem is buying one since they only made like 4 of them.
Pff, car users dont need society to get around, everyone knows road and bridge and fuel infrastructure are natural parts of the word that are just there on their own already! /s
I don’t think anyone doubts how much time, money, and effort are put into road infrastructure. In fact, I think about it a lot when driving.
Simpsons did it. Canyon Aarow
Fixed url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_Jl5WFQkA
What some folks may not know is that at around the same time, Ford had problems with tires imploding on SUVs. While not called out in the Canyonero spoof, I always thought it captured the public vibe about big trucks at the time in light of this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firestone_and_Ford_tire_controversy
Whoops, you can see where I tried to remove the
m.from the youtube URL and messed up!
And that was in 1998
Smells like a steak and seats 35!
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.
12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride, Canyonero!
It’s also literally the motto for the Pontiac Grand Prix.
“Wider is better”
I can tell this is a old meme because $119k is “a lot”. Lol
I passed a Lamborghini SUV on the road the other day. I checked and it retails for about $250,000. Motherfucker really dropped a quarter of a million dollars for a RAV4-looking vehicle to haul the kids to soccer in.
EDIT: Lamborghini Urus
Not a cheap vehicle, but that’s a medium truck with presumably a pretty incredible tow rating. Not really a passenger vehicle.
To be fair that is the largest consumer model and essentially the most expensive OEM package you can get. And it is very powerful and capable tow vehicle, but the majority of people just use them as passenger vehicles and maybe tow their rv a few times a year(which can be done with was less of a truck).
If you know modded trucks, whether that’s purpose built towing or just mall crawler, there are way more trucks over $200k than you would realize. If you ever see a welding truck, big 4x4 lifted trucks with custom beds, those are an easy $250k. But they are being used. Those guys make a easy 6 figures while living in hotels with nothing else to spend it on.
This comment has been made before, and the feedback from people who actually drive them is nobody is driving a dually for fun, the suspension just isn’t set up to be driven empty. Also, they’re massive vehicles even by US standards.
People absolutely do drive duallys for fun, ask any mechanic.
Can confirm, am diesel mechanic.
Can confirm, I have an EV for daily use and a F150 platinum for towing a 8.5k trailer, project work for my house, band equipment, etc… The trim package is where a lot of that extra cost goes (didnt really need heated, massage seats but we have a family member that was our sales guy and it was used so waaaaaaay less than MSRP). It is surprisingly fuel efficient when my partner is out of town and I need to run errands. I also live in a rather rural area so I’m not generally clogging up the roads. Also make it a conscious effort to park way out in the back 40 so I’m not creating a shit show for other drivers in the parking lot. The bonus is, that’s usually where the cart returns are so its less steps to get them back to the store!
Additional note, it’s completely stock aside from a good tonneau cover and some roof racks for kayaks. Lifted pavement princess rides gross me out.
…medium?
Where I live, a fully loaded truck can be up to 50t without needing any special permits.
Yes, that’s the classification.
I’m guessing larger than medium are the ones that transport containers, trees, houses, and the like
ah, right
Not really a passenger vehicle.
You say that, but I see four doors on it.
Semi trucks have doors too?
not four of them
Fire trucks do.
Don’t give them any ideas
I hate this about newer car models. Many are unnecessarily wide. Lanes don’t get wider though.
It is “necessary” for them to be that wide.
CAFE standards are based on “footprint” which is basically the rectangle of the tire contact patches. If you’re a car manufacturer who can’t meet the NHTSA’s MPG requirements for the size of car you produce, you can increase the size of your cars, so they fit in a larger class that requires less of an MPG improvement.
The most effective way to increase the footprint is to widen a narrow car, increasing its footprint toward square.
Am I understanding you correctly? There is a standard somewhere that says you can’t have tires of a certain width on a car unless the car is also broad?
Why is that even a requirement? I thought broad tires were safer, why would the width of the car have anything to do with it?
To be brief, some boneheads ages past decided to class vehicles based on footprint rather than simply weight.
I get it now. Not a chance that’s changing anytime soon I suppose, I can see how it’s not convenient for manufacturers
No, you’re not understanding me correctly. Mostly because I misspoke, so that’s on me, not you.
The contact patches I was talking about are the corners of the rectangle. Everything between the wheels is the footprint.
The area of the footprint basically determines the minimum MPG you can have. (The more complicated point is that it is related to all the vehicles you produce rather than a specific minimum, but that overcomplicates the issue. The point is that CAFE standards provide strong incentives for manufacturers to increase the “footprints” of their vehicles. The larger the footprint they can claim, the less MPG improvement they need to make. So, longer and wider wheelbases.
Thanks for the explanation. It’s just infuriating
And this is exactly why we don’t see small trucks like Rangers or Dakotas anymore. I don’t know if it’s because it’s impossible to make an engine that efficient or if manufacturers are just lazy, but the consequence is that they can avoid stricter efficiency requirements by simply making bigger (larger wheelbase) and heavier (body on frame vs. monocoque) vehicles.
They’re wider and longer because the EPA uses the area under the tires to determine fuel economy requirements.
😲😳 That explains so much…
*NHTSA, but yes.
So… The car equivalent of adding those extra cucumber slices to the burger so it doesn’t count as a confectionery item?
I wonder if dissolving the EPA would lead to smaller cars in a roundabout sort of way.
Not really seeing the comedy here, to be honest. This is more of a whinge strip.
Yeah, nobody wants wide cars. Manufacturers are making them wider to make it easier for them to meet NHTSA’s CAFE standards.
The standards require year-on-year MPG improvements. The problem is that they require proportionally more improvement on the smallest, highest economy cars, and less improvement on the largest, lowest economy vehicles.
The standards are based on the “footprint” of the vehicle: the rectangle between the contact patches of the tires. The larger the area of that footprint, the larger the vehicle, and the less MPG increase it needs to have.
So, they are pushing the wheels toward the corners, and widening the wheelbase, approaching a square to maximize their footprints. They are making cars bigger and boxier so they don’t have to make them more efficient.
Fuel economy of the cars on the road is actually falling, because manufacturers are effectively prohibited from continuing to make their smallest, most efficient vehicles. They are compelled to either discontinue those vehicles, or embiggen them to fall in a larger class.
Yeah, I was expecting it to be a joke like:
- Introducing Longtrucks. 🚌
- Impress even more strangers of the superior person-hauling capabilities with 32 seats.
- Includes a light-up sign 🚍 so you can proudly show to strangers where you’re headed.
- Access a world-wide network of pick-up bays 🚏 for you to pick up strangers from.
Good thing comedy isn’t mandatory. Also fuck car-centric societies that enable the nonsense this strip is parodying.
In all honesty, the wideness of modern cars may actually be their downfall. I live in a suburban area (Not US, but that doesn’t matter it’s become everyone’s problem.) and the roads were designed for cars to be parked on either side and two, narrow lanes in the middle where people could, slowly, get past each other, with a certain amount of tolerance (i.e. space).
Then came an EPA ruling in the states (late 90’s I think) and trucks were immune to sensible laws and all the car companies made trucks that were immune to being too wide (among other things). They became objects of desire. Cars followed, because everyone wants a thick phallus I guess, or maybe needs to see the road when there’s a fat car next to them, or one with tinted windows, and I’m nowhere near to a legal solution in a global economy.
Practical upshot, local roads are only one lane wide because of fat cars parked on either side with no regard to practicality, add endless renovation because property development is the one true way to richness /s, even though rich people already own the good land, and control their local environment.
TLDR, fat cars break suburban roads.
Artist nailed it outlining people’s obsession with personal freedoms versus society’s rights as a whole.
I often see a car in a crowded parking lot that is too wide or too long to fit in a parking spot, and I have to wonder if the person driving that vehicle is a complete idiot or a complete asshole.
How stupid are you that you chose a daily driver that doesn’t work? That you take up so much space that everyone else needs to actively avoid you and curse you because you are so bad at making choices?
Do you regret your choice? Do you constantly think “Fuck everyone else around me, I do what I want.”, or do you legitimately not notice how everyone else hates you?
Do you regret your choice? Do you constantly think “Fuck everyone else around me, I do what I want.”, or do you legitimately not notice how everyone else hates you?
It could easily be all of those things. Regret turns to coping poorly through projection1, followed by just ignoring the problem.
Re: idiots and assholes. The Venn diagram for those groups have a rather large intersection.
1. Clinically known as “acting like an asshole”. In this case, it’s the decision that it’s everyone else who is encroaching on their space, while driving a vehicle that is slightly smaller than a shuttle bus.
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I once saw an asshole who managed to park a compact car on 4 Spaces, one being a handicapped spot. I took a picture, but cant find it.
That’s a bad example because it’s a Golf.
Seriously though, pretty much every time I see one, it’s either doing something dangerous and/or obnoxious, or is about to do it in the next 5 minutes. I can also count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen one respecting the speed limit, and they’re a pretty common car here.
That requires introspection. Instead they say things like “the idiot that built this parking lot made the spaces too small.”
It’s crazy to think that Humvees were designed with war in Europe in mind. They are pretty wide and may have been wider if they didn’t have to worry about train tunnels
Remember the times when Humvees were considered big and stupid to drive in civilian applications?
Always have been. H2s were the cybertrucks of their day
They were designed so that the wheels would be the same width as the tracks on an Abrams tank.
American culture in general:
“Remember: There is no society - only YOU and the freedom to do whatever you want!”
… the chef’s kiss was in parking your monstrosity next to a Big Sad Box … a beautiful summary of the general North American society we’ve created. Millions of years of evolution to get to the point of selfish ignorantly following a life style to park next to a big sad box and buy an overpriced couch you can’t afford made by Vietnamese children.
And to boast that it’s the absolute Pinnacle of society. It’s the only version they’ve seen but they’re convinced there are zero improvements
I like how the wing mirrors look like actual wings.
