Eventually there is blood but no shit.
Better red than bidet!
If “red” rhymes with “bidet” you’re highly American
It’s the only way I can finger myself without it being gay
Why use toilet paper when bidet shower exists?
Yes. You just use this to blast water into your colon until it’s sparkling clean inside. I love it.
Well if you’re shoving the show head past your anus and rectum into your colon, I think you might have been misinformed on the proper use of bidet showers.
I just wash the outside. Seems much easier and more efficient in terms of hygiene.
Yes, the deeper the better.
It’s normally just for the outside, but I like how you think…
So until they read about it on the internet they were leaving their butthole covered with shit all day?
Real ones use bidet or a watering can first then wipe to simply dry. Much cleaner.
A watering can? Like, for plants?
Yes, I did some searching and I suppose something like a “lota” would be more accurate. But a watering can with 1 hole rather than many
Use a bidet, I find whenever I have a burning, the bidet does it.
The blood is likely from a popped hemroid
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Moving to Finland was the best thing for my my butt. So clean.
There seems to always be a thread about poop on 4chan
4chan has always been filled with shitposters.
I believe you mean scatologists
And scat fetishists
It’s the most intellectual activity they engage in.
Bro, you’re supposed to use a NEW piece to wipe each time
Bro, wash your ass. You don’t even need to get that fucking deep, just buy a shower scrubber.
Please don’t use a scrubber against your asshole. A washcloth you throw in the laundry after, or just your hands with lots of soap before and after is fine. You’re not going to awake any forbidden desires, you’re just making sure your body is clean.
You’re not going to awake any forbidden desires, you’re just making sure your body is clean.
Never say never, anal massage isn’t wholly unpleasant.
Wet the paper using the sink
Spit on that thang.
Hawk tua
Why? The toilet is literally right there.
The bowl water warms up as you use it. Warm.
I wipe homeopathically.
0.5 mm² gently applied at the top of my crack for a nice even dispersal.
I wipe homo pathetically, I’ll leave the details to your imagination.
You wipe up to the fourth knuckle?
0.5 mm²of what? 0.5 MM² OF WHAT??
Well, in homeopathy, like cures like, so probably more shit.
Hot sauce?
Obviously, a bidet is the best way to have a clean butt, but baby wipes are a good compromise when in public bathrooms, they clean much better than dry toilet paper. Or wash on the side of the bathtub.
Don’t flush them no matter what the packaging says, though.
How fucking strong is your toilet that you could flush an entire bidet down it?
They aren’t. That’s why you shouldn’t flush one!
Americans don’t get much fiber so the toilets have to be severely overbuilt.
This is true, my American uncle once flushed an F150 to save on towing costs after one of the con rods made a window in the block
I am adding “made a window in the block” to my lexicon. Thank you.
I wonder if OP forgot to fold the TP or use a new clean bunch and is just wiping their ass over and over with their own shit.
After the fourth wipe it starts falling apart.
Obligatory bidet comment. You don’t have to wipe like you’re trying to get peanut butter out of carpet. All shits become the same with a bidet, whether a short sticky stoagie or a hot wet mess of diarrhea. Imagine trying to clean a mud snowman off your driveway with a pressure washer. It can do anything.
You are a master of imagery.
You don’t have to wipe like you’re trying to get peanut butter out of carpet.
I lol’d
I’m not gonna pressure wash my tush, that’s a terrible metaphor! Too much power!
Tl;dr: too much pressure can result in an unwelcome “deep clean”, not recommended as a surprise.
You really have to limit the pressure to the bidet. We ultimately installed a little in-line valve but raw dogged it initially. I thought I’d be fine. “It has a dial,” I thought to myself, “I just won’t crank it up all the way.” I’m an idiot.
The next time I was really sick was when it happened. I was little kid sick, the kind of sick where you’re feverish, nauseated, and delirious, barely able to function, yet still have to drag yourself through the house and half-assedly slap your arms at things until they work, just to fulfill basic functions like drinking water and using the toilet. A toilet with a bidet.
I had just finished power blasting the porcelain for the umpteenth time and I wanted nothing more than to wash it away and ooze back into bed. I gathered all my willpower to swing an unwilling appendage over and twist the knob, but I twisted much too far and my aim… my aim was perfect. Bullseye.
In martial arts, they teach you not just to strike your target, but to strike through your target. The bidet didn’t just blast my anus, it blasted through my anus. If we were at the fair, my bidet would have popped the balloon and taken home the big bear. My wife claims she heard me cry out a high-pitched “eeeep!”, but I don’t remember it. I just remember shock and confusion as I pawed at the bidet knob. The bidet had slammed its way straight to home plate and beyond, on to the “fifth base” of legend.
I ordered a valve online that day and installed it as soon as I was able. Never again, not without intent, preparation, and a safe word.
I have never used a bidet.
What I do use with every shit is a bidet shower.
You get a nice gentle but strong enough stream which you control all the time.
Also, I never shoot it directly at my anus, but more like from an angle, so even if it suddenly had 10x the flow, it wouldn’t go into my arse.
Pretty much every single bathroom in Finland has these. As in even gas stations and bar toilets usually have one stall with a sink in the stall and a bidet shower attached.
this is a work of fucking art
Fiber. Truly, up your fiber intake. The only time it won’t stain and linger is when it gathers in on itself.
You need to shit some more. There is still ink in the pen.
