Broccoli is so good it makes me horny too. I fucking love broccoli.
But, do you love fucking broccoli?
It was, “I, fucking, love broccoli.”
What happens at the farmers market stays at the farmers market
Never was a statement more false than this one.
Your statement creates a paradox. You must sacrifice a partition to Windows or risk Steve Jobs visiting you in the night.
I’d rather risk Steve jobs visiting me in the night, much safer option.
I’m not kink shaming but if you fuck the broccoli you better not leave it at the farmers market. You take that shit home with you afterwards.
You’re damn right. Broccoli mates for life, not just for Christmas.
Fun fact: Brocollis is the ‘veg kids don’t like’ in Amercia mostly. Pixar even edited scenes in ‘Inside Out’ where a dad feeds his daughter broccoli, turing it into bell peppers for the asian market:
https://www.businessinsider.com/why-inside-out-has-different-scenes-in-other-countries-2015-7?op=1
This shows some really nice attention to detail.
Broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans we (brother and I) were always fine with as kids. It was the asparagus and spinach I never cared for as a kid. Turned out it wasn’t the spinach’s fault, my mother would just buy bags of frozen spinach, put it in a microwave safe container and turn it on. So if tasted bad. As I learned to cook I started to like it as I actually used it in other ways. Asparagus though… I rarely give a chance, and usually if I do I’m frying it in bacon grease which defeats the purpose of eating a vegetable I feel.
Both my kids favorite veggie was broccoli when they were small. I’d prepare it the way you’d get it in an Italian restaurant - small parts of it just bleached for a short time, so it stays firm, served with nice olive oil and salt. (And a bit of lemon, if I have it on hand)
Broccoli (like so many veggies) tastes awful when overcooked into a soft and mushy consistency (and then it also changes its taste in a bad way).
Here in Germany grandmas typically are amazing cooks, with the sole exception when they cooked veggies. That generation loved their vegs really soft and overcooked.
I only like raw asparagus. If it is cooked, it tastes nasty as hell
Never had it raw, thanks for the tip. I’ll give it a try
Honestly, I would be suspicious of any kid who doesn’t like eating miniature trees.
Broccoli is like green tofu. It tastes like whatever you cook it in. There is perhaps no other food which has more surface area for holding sauce or seasoning.
Cauliflower
Yeah I was going to say this. Cauliflower is like the “plain” version of broccoli lol
That’s my favourite thing about broccoli - I take a bite from the bushy part and get an explosion of flavor
Mandelbrotcolli
Broccoli in Thai curry is the way! So good!
To be fair, everything is good in Thai curry.
My theory on this is that some of the hate for a lot of vegetables comes from either eating canned ones or poorly cooked ones. My girlfriend didn’t know she liked green beans until she started living with my family and my father made her some. My dad sautéed the in butter with garlic, and she only had ever had those extremely mushy canned ones and had concluded on that basis she hated green beans.
Nice to read about a person that so appreciated the kindness of another that they were willing to extend a kindness to them
I sympathize with the bottom part so much. My parents absolutely refused to cook anything ever and bought the worst, most unhealthy prepackaged foods from the grocery stores. I spent the first years of my life thinking that things like apples just weren’t sold at my local Kroger because we never had them. I felt like shit mentally and physically for pretty much the first 18 years of my life because of it.
I grew up, moved out, and holy shit I love eating “rabbit food,” as my dad used to call it and I never would have learned before is that cooking is fun
I feel you. I weirdly did have vegetables and things growing up, but my mom self admittedly hates cooking. So most of what we ate consisted of casseroles made up of things dumped out of a can and any veggies likely also came from a can and we’re heated up on the stove. She also over cooked all the meat to make sure people wouldn’t get sick. So all the veggies were bland and mushy and all the meat was dry as fuck. I’ll never forget the first time I ate fresh pineapple at my inlaws house and it was one of the best things I ever tasted. I’m pretty good at cooking now and I’ve managed to help my mom improve in all ways as well. She now uses a meat thermometer that I got her for Christmas. I cooked her some fresh broccoli in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic powder and she loved it and started making hers that way instead of boiling it. Baby steps, but we’re making progress.
Rabbit food? What the fuck
In the 90s people started suggesting eating veggies occasionally and the American populace reacted predictably, i.e. as if someone were threatening to literally emasculate them.
Kind of like the modern anti-vax/anti-mask freaks.
Fellas, is it gay to eat healthy?
Gays, is it healthy to eat fellas?
Some dudes live their whole lives afraid their balls will fall off and roll away if they eat anything but brown meat.
Hey, c’mon, there’s all kinds of dudes that love going to town on some brown meat.
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Enjoying meat and two veg on a daily basis is traditional.
I’ve heard it be said from many men that I knew growing up that the more processed food is, the better, because it kills all the germs that come out of the ground. I’ve not seen that man eat anything green that wasn’t on top of a fast food cheeseburger in all my years alive.
Did you to wish you could fuck your friends mom‽
Yes but that was irrelevant because she never cooked for me, she was just hot. Still is, in fact.
We always joke that he has a Wine Mom. He thinks that we’re calling her a drunk. It means that she gets better with age.
Relevant username if I ever saw one
Man I was tormented with that crap as a kid. “HOLY CRAP YOUR SISTER IS HOT!!! That’s your mommmmmm? Whoa!”
Same crap with my sister.
I see them both as living farts.
Well now we need to see pictures of your hot mom and hot sis so we can judge for ourselves in the name of science and research.
Commenting to come back to see that guys mom
The good news is if your mother and sister are attractive, There’s decent odds your good looking as well. Unless your mother fucked an ogre, and if that’s so… Well at least Shrek’s your dad?
I’m not ugly, but I’m the least attractive member of my family.
My brother looked like a Greek god, my sister looked like a model. My dad was so sought after that his name was spray painted all over our town with hearts and love confessions. Bridges, buildings, love for him was everywhere. He was chased by women aged 18-90.
I was born with crossed eyes and had to have a corrective surgery. Every man in my family is over 6ft tall and I’m only 5’7. I still randomly message my mother to thank her for going through with the surgery.
I definitely lost the lottery, but it could have been worse.
Well incase no one has told you that you are attractive lately, you’re fucking beautiful man. May every road rise up to meet you
Well thank you. :p You’re beautiful too!
I had a running joke with this lad in school where he’d say “your sister’s fit” and I’d punch him in the arm. No idea why we did it or how it stayed so friendly. Just remembered it for the first time in maybe 20 years. Thanks!
We all did. The hot moms anyway. The big milfy moms, I just wanted them to make me some food.
What did you think milf stands for?
He knows what he said.
Mums insanely lovely food
Love the interrobang.
404
das a dead link for me. just forwards to the main page
wth it still works for me
Mobile opened in my mobile app it does but when opened in a browser it doesnt.
Broccoli rules, one of my favorite veggies, along with carrots and fresh green beans.
Throw asparagus in there and I’m in.
vegetables in general and tasting bad is moreso lack of preparation/cooking rather than the actual thing itself most of the time. Brusselsprouts is the polarizing one where its seen the most.
It’s because traditionally bitter vegetables have been selectively bred to taste better. The brussel sprouts and broccoli your parents had were very different than what we have today.
Maybe, but brussel sprouts still taste like shit.
Broccoli is and always has been really good, if cooked correctly.
Brussels sprouts in sambar is GOAT tier
Honestly I’m still pretty skeptical of this factoid. The Brussel sprouts now taste pretty similar to the ones I had in the 80s and 90s when cooked the same way. The whole “Brussel sprouts taste new” feels like some industry marketing to me.
If something tastes slightly different every few times you have it you’re probably not going to notice a difference over 30-40 years.
Your memory of what something tasted like 30 years ago probably isn’t super accurate. It’s a fact that they’ve been selectively bred over the last few decades to taste better.
I mean wouldn’t that also apply to everyone who thinks they taste better? And why would they have only started trying to make them taste good recently?
If you’ve been eating broccoli throughout the whole selective breeding process, then the flavor change would have been subtle enough that you don’t realize there’s been a change at all. If you ate them side by side, the difference would be noticeable.
It’s not too different from Jim adding nickels to Dwight’s phone, then suddenly removing them.
Yeah, I think people just learned how to cook them properly
Brussel sprouts are so easy to make good as well, just put them in the oven at like 400 with some oil and a bit of salt
Fun Fact, if broccoli kinda tastes like soap to you, congratulations! You have a gene variation that makes certain bitter flavors taste like soap, it’s stronger in childhood (which is potentially why “Kids hate broccoli” trope is a thing) and tends to fade into adulthood, but not always.
There are also studies being done to figure out specifically which compounds in broccoli make it taste like that to cultivate it out to encourage more broccoli consumption
Are you saying that I might stop hating coriander when I retire? But I really like broccoli, so maybe it’s a different kind of soap gene…
Glad to see some scientific stuff under a “I would fuck his mom for serving broccoli” content.
I hate having this gene variant, so many things taste bad. People judge you, it’s hard to order at restaurants, etc.
Broccoli and cheese is awesome. Other preparations like steamed are not as delicious, but ymmv.
Steamed is my default method of cooking broccoli.
I cut the stalk up for soup and pasta. Then I lightly steam the florets and I like it.
Steamed broccoli with a little soy sauce & Sriracha is one of my absolute favorite snacks. Cauliflower, too. I’m gonna go make some.
In almost all cases, I frankly detest steamed vegetables. Probably due to my grandmother steaming the absolute piss out of ANY vegetable when we visited. My mother didn’t overcook them nearly as bad, but to this day I just don’t enjoy the flavor of any vegetable steamed nearly as much as I do roasted in the oven. High heat + short time + delicious, crisp, lightly charred goodness
Steamed broccoli + garlic salt, just dont overdo the brocc until it’s mushy
I think that’s where the reputation comes from. Overcooked broccoli is inedible, and I know people who refuse to leave any bite to it at all, which seems insane.
I feel like crunchy, fresh broccoli is a relatively new trend. I found out about it on my own, at my place as a kid it always looked like green boogers and tasted the way you imagine that would.
My mom used to have a microwave cookbook and would make most veggies in the microwave oven. This cemented my love for crunchy cooked vegetables. I can’t eat green beans in a restaurant because most of the time they are almost the consistency of porridge.
I think it used to have to be cooked to hell because in the past it legitimately didn’t taste as good as it does now. Selective breeding has taken a lot of bitterness out of many vegetables.
I don’t know, man, this was the 80s and 90s, it’s not that long ago. It still tastes like I remember if you overcook it.
30-40 years is a lot of time to selectively breed vegetables.
Yeah, no, it’s not that it isn’t enough time, it’s that I’ve been eating broccoli and beans all this time, I would have noticed.
I mean, we all noticed the tomatoes becoming water balloons, it’s not like it’d be unheard of.
You wouldn’t notice slight changes over decades. You’d need to do a side by side comparison to say for sure.
It got cooked to hell because most people can’t cook and that’s what they know. If anything broccoli tasted the better in the 80s, because it wasn’t as maximized for shipping.
Vegetable breeders for the veggies that you get in a normal grocery store don’t typically select for tastiness/flavor, they select for things that can maximize profits - hardiness, shipability, production, etc.
That and canned veggies. Don’t know if it’s because we were low income or if produce was just a lot more expensive back in the 80s and 90s. But, I remember eating a shit ton of canned “mixed vegetables” at my house and at friends houses.
My mom was a good cook, but I feel like we didn’t get a lot of fresh veggies unless we were living on a military base where the groceries were subsidized.
Same for meatloaf
You can absolutely fuck meatloaf
You wanted to fuck your friend’s meatloaf?
Where is the cheese part story
