This is real.
It is and the peephole is the gateway to false negatives. It seems like they’re gone, and then they’re not! They were just out of spy range!
The fuckers forgot their car keys and had to dash back in!
Thats why you have pinhole cameras above your door pointing down the hallway in each direction as well.
There’s 2 playing my game!?!??
Are they afraid to leave their apartment? It looks like they’re outside their apartment with needing the key to turn the deadbolt.
Different lock types are more or less common in different places.
I don’t know where the artist of the comic lives, but here in the UK for example most exterior doors have a keyhole on BOTH sides, and you need to use the key to lock or unlock it from inside, as well as from out.
That seems so incredibly dangerous needing the key to get out
It does feel like it might be, but I don’t know if it actually is.
The UK generally has extremely good fire safety regulations, so if this was getting people killed I feel like it would have been the subject of some scrutiny.
The house I grew up in was this way, and the house I live in now with a new door (<10yo) is still that way.
As a kid I never thought about it, and I don’t remember ever being stuck in the house.
The way people normally deal with keys is that everyone who needs a key has one of their own on their keyring, and there is usually also a ‘house’ key which stays by the door and isn’t taken away anywhere.
And none of this is to say “this is a good way” it’s just to say “this is the way people are used to here”
My wife is like this. She claims its because the dog is to crazy around them, but its not the dog. I know her. Its funny because when caught with the neighbors she is cordial and will talk and laugh but she just can’t get passed her predispositions. I on the other hand will run out if I hear the neighbors as I like to play with their dogs.
Ahh i cant relate to this one
This is why people moved en masse to suburbs. You go to your car and drive away, rarely even see a neighbor. I’ve spoken to a neighbor once in the last year and it was because we were both shoveling snow (it was yesterday). We shoveled for an hour in silence but we kept getting closer to the street (she’s across the street). At some point we were only about 20 feet from each other and the silence was awkward. At least it was just a 30 second convo.
I grew up in a suburb and that was the only time I HAVE regularly felt like this. I still wince when I think of the loud Greek lady across the street who shouted my name whenever I tried to leave the house. Egads.
Wtf? I live in the suburbs and we talk regularly to the neighbours. Is this some weird US-specific dystopia?
It’s automatic garage door culture. You pull up to your house and hit the garage open button and when you leave it’s the same, you just drive away and never see anyone, you close your garage remotely and you’re gone. Maybe if you do your own lawn care you’ll see neighbors but many people hire lawn care professionals. I don’t have a garage to park in. But my wife likes to do the lawn care. So I’m only outside while walking to or from my car. My wife hates the cold so snow shoveling is on me. I’m about to be shoveling more in five minutes :)
Yes
Community is hard to come by here. It’s bad.
For me, it’s my roommate and the never-ending rant about ‘stupid’ things going on at work.
My relationship with my neighbors is that we’re great friends to the point that we don’t even knock coming into each other’s apartments, especially considering we regularly take each other’s dogs for walks while the others away.
That’s sweet
This sounds like my personal nightmare. I’d never be able to relax knowing someone could drop by any moment. You’re way more friendly than I.
The whole neighborhood, for the most part, consists of friends. It’s employee housing for a ski resort so they’re all at least coworkers, with the exception of the cop who doesn’t do anything but is used as a threat against everyone else by the landlord and me who’s an unemployed arguably crazy person who’s trying to get on disability for the seizures and is allowed to stay since I sleep on my dad’s couch and he gets along great with the resort.
I need this explained. Is this a bathroom?
I think it’s her front door and her neighbors are talking in the hall outside her apartment. (The keys doesn’t really make sense with her wanting to ‘go’)
Some houses have a deadbolt that has a lock cylinder on both sides because it’s more resistant to breakins. My house is like this and I need a key to leave unless I want to jump out of a window
More likely though it’s a normal turner inside, and she just has her keys ready to lock the deadbolt from the outside. That’s how our apartment is.
Have they not invented fire in your country yet?
Like most buildings, my house has windows I can exit in an emergency
Double cylinder deadbolts are pretty common IME
(The keys doesn’t really make sense with her wanting to ‘go’)
I was thinking it could be a gas station bathroom.
In Europe you often have doors that lock with keys from inside as well. And no knob/autolock.
The good part is that there is no “I forgot my keys and locked myself out” because either you couldn’t leave without your keys or you left your door unlocked.
The bad part is when you are late to your engagement because you can’t just leave the apartment unlocked/you are locked in and your room mate Julia misplaced her keys and borrowed yours to go out for an hour and she’s an hour late already. Fuck you, Julia. Also fire safety.
Yes. Their violent neighbor broke in earlier and is currently using their bathroom, much to the embarrassment of the protagonist
Every fucking time I want to leave some other neighbour comes out first and I have to wait for them to clear out before I can leave.
And they are so slow! Clear the public area swiftly you inconsiderate buffoons!
Wow you hate people more than I do. Just say that.
The old people always want to talk and I’m too nice to cut them off. There is no other choice but to avoid them at all costs.
So you guys hate eachother?
It’s just normal social anxiety.
To actively avoid interacting with anyone outside of your specific social circle??? Doesn’t seem like that would be “normal”.
I suppose it depends on your definition of normal. But I specifically didn’t say it was normal for everyone, I said it was normal social anxiety. Which only affects around 10% of people. Still a pretty large number, that’s about the same as being left-handed. And yet you likely know more people that are left handed, because the odds of meeting someone with social anxiety are, of course, much lower even though just as many exist.
That would be “normal social anxiety symptoms” or even “normal for social anxiety” where normal applies to the symptom discussed. Here your use of normal supplements the “social anxiety” which I do understand is more prevalent than people would really acknowledge but isn’t exactly normal.
Even more so for zero contact, no coping mechanism social anxiety that has you saying rude things about others existing in shared physical space.Is “normal social anxiety symptoms” really meaningfully different than "“normal social anxiety”? Isn’t that implied?
It is not implied. In fact I doubt most people would consider social anxiety to be even a clinical term and it is often used a catch all for minor anxiety towards social interactions that can be difficult.
Following up someone saying they hide inside when neighbors are around and that they think they are buffoons for not moving at the speed you want because of a lack of self control with “well that’s just normal social anxiety” validates and normalizes behavior that is neither valid nor productive.
My grandmother was an English teacher and she would tell you it’s not ok to leave things implicit as you leave the comprehension to the reader when that is the purpose of you as the speaker.
Come visit Finland! Then you can be the weird one 😂
There was a joke here that they were telling us to stand closer together during the height of Covid for example
Undiagnosed anxiety sufferers who think it’s normal to be terrified of human interaction downvoting you
well, you suffer from social anxiety, than yes, it’s normal
“normal”
Yeah I don’t think that word means what you think it means
People who say Lemmy is not a social media site might just be right.
Because apparently the people here do not want to be social they just want the media.I think lemmy and reddit are super different from social media. you can use some of their tools to socialize but most if not all people don’t use their real names, most don’t even have a proper profile, most people don’t follow each other or try to get followers, etc. there’s just no “relationship” aspect that is distinct to social media sites.
if anything lemmy feels a little more social just because of the small size, and how you start to recognize the same bunch of people in the comments. but I’d expect that to go away if it ever gets really big one day.
Finally
Asocial media
discussion =/= socializing
I don’t get it. Are they afraid of possibly having a brief interaction with a neighbor?
Yes, we are.
…why though?
Reminds me of a favorite line from a song, “I don’t want you to romanticize falling the fuck apart”
Because then you have to make pointless small talk and pleasantries, and I need to save all of those for the boring people I don’t want to talk to at work.
Come to Germany. We don’t talk to each other in public. Ever.
Smalltalk with the cashier? Hell no. It’s just "Card or Cash? " “Card.” “Receipt?” “Nope. Bye.” “Bye”. Every time.
Walk past each other on a tail. Maaaaaybe it will be a “Hello”. That’s it. Every time.
It sounds like a magical land.
“sorry, I’m in a rush”
Ya but, you don’t have to do that. Nobody cares if you walk by them in the apartment corridor without acknowledging them
Just going to stick my reply on the top comment here, but may touch on some of the lower comments to help out.
Answering yes to the question “Are they afraid of possibly having a brief interaction with a neighbor” is going to be unique to the individual. I saw some mention of anxiety disorder down there, and while that may be the case for some, I wouldn’t label myself with that and I see this as a good opportunity to caution against over generalization for these grey areas of life.
For me personally, I have a full time career that primarily involves interacting with people 95% of the time. When I get done working for the day… I’m all interacted out. So yeah I may not enter a room or exit my apartment when I know it’s going to require more social interactions. I’m just tired. It’s honestly easier for me to just wait a couple minutes so that I don’t have to restart my decompression.
Also while I dont have social anxiety, I do have Autism and was diagnosed more specifically with Aspergers. This means that I really dont like dealing with people in general, not in an anxiety wag but in a let me do my own thing type of way.
This was a useful perspective for me. Thanks.
Trauma.
…why though?
Anxiety disorders are a group of mental disorders characterized by significant and uncontrollable feelings of anxiety and fear such that a person’s social, occupational, and personal functions are significantly impaired.
Expressing your struggles is not the same as romanticizing them. You should self interrogate why you assume they are the same
Because a lot of people I know and see are like “lol I’m a mess” without seeming to do anything to address the situation.
Though that’s aggravated by the capitalist hellscape that makes getting health care difficult.
But also I’m less generous about this because it’s frustrating to be on the receiving end of someone’s crippling anxiety.
And this comic is a cutesy, romanticized if you will, representation of it.
without seeming to do anything to address the situation.
seeming
A lot of the struggles and progress in this area isn’t going to outwardly visible unless they decide to share that with you.
I’m aware but worth pointing out. It’s easy to forget. Also to forget that our personal experience is not universal.
I had really bad anxiety in my youth. I’d get nauseous. Staying inside alone made it worse. So much worse. Taking the plunge and actually going out, talking to people, engaging, regularly, that lead to progress. Even if it meant throwing up in the bathroom sometimes. But that probably won’t work for everyone.
But I guess some part of me has a visceral reaction that’s just like “you’re making it worse! You’re just hiding from the problem and it’s never going to get better this way! Just go outside and nothing bad will happen, and you’ll stop freaking out eventually!”. But that’s not everyone.
But yes, to your point, a lot of the time it seems like they’re not even trying, and I can’t know their inner world. Sometimes they’re not, sometimes they are.
I don’t think it’s an accurate assessment to say “everyone is doing their best” though because some people certainly are not.
interrogate harder because “I feel impinged on by people with anxiety” is not it lmao
No, it’s “I don’t think you’re doing enough to deal with your problems” first.
This is a pretty common mentality we have to deal with. Someone that doesn’t have our problem, downplaying how big of a deal it is because they have never had to put much thought into it. It’s a physical difference in the structure of our brain. While we can learn ways to cope with it, we can’t ever “get over it”. We find ways to minimize triggering it, and ways to ride it out with the least amount of stress. And one of the ways that helps is sharing our struggles with the rest of our community for support, and trying not to care about outsiders shitting on us as we do so.
They likely have high anxiety, possibly an anxiety disorder. It’s just a relatable representation of that in comic form
Surely you’re not implying that wanting to avoid unnecessary social interaction with overly familiar strangers means you have high anxiety? You could claim they’re socially awkward but that’s still pretty far from anxiety.
There are other reasons to want to. But social anxiety is pretty common, so it’s generally a safe assumption.
Regular Scandinavian life.
I need to move to Scandinavia.
Expensive, cold, and dark. Otherwise sounds fantastic.
Skill issue
Even worse when you’re really hungry but your flatmates are hanging out in the kitchen
Just stroll out as casual as possible and act suprise when they see you. “oh shit, hey” without any clothes on. Repeat this until they relocate their usual hangout spot to another building.
E: or discover your like exhibitionism and your fear of socializing drops (but your horniness rises when you can hear them congregating)
I do this for every threat of human interaction ever. I wish I could fix that.
You don’t fix it. You just work on it till you can handle more because you want to or you have to.
We aren’t so much as broken as just different, as we all are. We all just need to do our parts to work to be part of society rather than perfect it ourselves first.
I’m human, and you just interacted with me.
EDIT: This community has apparently about 11,000 active users. You just interacted with them and it didn’t seem to be an issue.
You’re not a threat and you don’t set my nervous system into meltdown. It’s the level of abstraction that I need to interact at all.
I’m human
I don’t believe this. I’m pretty sure this computer I’m using is generating random comments as I’m scrolling through here.
