You absolutely do not have to RP this. You can say “No.” You can say “Ok, you go off and do that, what’s everyone else doing?”
Exactly this. I had a character go to a brothel in a campaign I ran. I just said okay, you go to the brothel and have whatever you consider a good time. No further detail or RP was requested or required.
I will add that you can also charge them a fortune for it.
Nope, no, that’s encouraging their behavior. Now your player thinks you’re giving them a quest to earn enough money to play out their brothel scene.
“the bouncer notices you both looking smarmy and throws you halfway across the city as you try to enter, roll for the landing”
A brothel throwing out smarmy customers? Lel
that tells you just how egregious they were
Or had no money
Nope, no, that’s encouraging their behavior. Now your player thinks you’re giving them a quest to thwart this bouncer.
great, what the players don’t know is that the bouncer is a trickster god in disguise and they simply will not ever get past him, and they can have fun throwing themselves at a brick wall repeatedly while everyone else carries on with the actual campaign.
Except that’s the point, they will not be having fun. Nor will you, nor will any of the other players. Because that setup is not fun. And presumably you’re hosting a game for your friends with the intention of everyone having fun, so it’s best if you find another tact.
The bouncer is a God. The DC is 500. Crits are the only way through. There’s an instant kill atmosphere in the front room that requires all elemental immunities to survive. If they make it past all of that they are disintegrated by the unfiltered visage of a naked god. I hope they brought another character sheet.
“Roll a constitution based slight of hand check, add your polearm proficiency.” … “You wake up with extra exhaustion and d12 dignity damage.”
I did this to my brother in law. He critically failed every single roll I’ve never seen that many 1’s. He woke up married to an “elf” named Ralph and a mysterious -1 to CON that went away next time he drank a healing potion.
Lmao, roll-playing at its best!
I must use this in my game!
Sounds like a ‘fade to black’, as I call them.
Yup. No matter how hard the PC tries, just pan over to the fireplace and fade to black: https://youtu.be/v7eJEsf11WM (had to include the obligatory Top Secret! clip)
The rogue I DM always asks where the brothel is. I just make up names and charge him gold for the stay.
While on the road the party stopped at a tavern in a small town. It was run by two sisters that were very friendly with the rogue and the paladin. The sisters led them downstairs and into their respective rooms. When their backs were turned the doppelgangers attacked!
The paladin’s steed sensed he was in trouble and burst in the tavern and hoofed it to the cellar. The monk and wizard realized what was happening and begrudgingly put down their drinks to go help.
Paladin at the brothel? Terrible excuse for a priest
The paladin wasn’t “Oath of No Fun.”
Look, maybe he was a paladin of Sune. (Or Calistira, if they’re playing Pathfinder.)
Make all of the prostitutes in the brothel female goblins that sound like Danny Devito after 30 years of chain smoking. If you have to suffer, they can suffer too
Hey a hole’s a hole
Or they’re all dragons shapeshifted into attractive humans to lure in prey!
Do you want to make me move in? Cause that’s how you get me to move in 😍
I just use the Shucked Oyster, all the RP is built into it. But I play with a bunch of degenerate women.
Please remember that your DM is a person. They are also playing the game and deserve to have fun, and for their boundaries to be respected. They are not just a physics engine for your shenanigans.
That being said, some DMs in specific groups might be totally fine with this. Just don’t spring it on someone without prior discussion and consent. That is (among other things) what session zero is for.
I wish that I had talked about that in my session 0. At least the player who was playing a horny character realized that I was a little uncomfortable with it.
One of my DMs is my gf. So I think that if I were to cause such a situation, it might play out something like:
ME: I go look for a brothel.
DM/GF: Sure, you do that. Now, what’s everyone else up to?
ME: that’s fine, we can play it out later 😏Nope sorry, you found the one city with no brothels.
They decide to build one With blackjack and Hooters
Bam! Succubus questline
Or: engagement in prostitution is punished by death, while prostitution is legal. They need to kill the major. Then, they find out that an underground organization is behind the ban on prostitution and is picking up speed and converting other parts of the continent. And after weeks of following the breadcrumbs of information next to their real story, they find out that this organization is ….
My best friend’s daughter irl decided to charm the bugbear guard. I made puppy dog eyes at her while her parents giggled their asses off. She was thirteen at the time.
