• @[email protected]
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    542 years ago

    I could not be more relieved.

    On the one hand, it sucks that there is a rift between communities who seem to have genuine care for LGBTQ issues. However, through the past day, being exposed to Hexbear’s community and content has made me extremely concerned.

    Hexbear’s server content is full of great big red flags. Even a brief skim through some top posts and comments showed a lot of content I found alarming. There are posts denying genocide, calls to violence, blatant Russian propaganda, apologists galore for authoritarianism, and the constant assurance that anyone not agreeing with these ideas was obviously a Fascist. And this was all wrapped in what I can only describe as a weird layer of smug superiority - that they are the only ones who “get it”. I don’t have a high opinion of any community that seems to think having the a word like “tankie” applied to them is problematic while accepting the previously mentioned content as okay. To make matters worse, a lot of Hexbear user’s I’ve seen in other communities posting, it is often antagonistic if not just straight-up trolling. I just don’t see the value in any of this.

    I just wish we had become defederated sooner and not been exposed to a community that seems to be so rife with arrogant, extremist trolls that are hell-bent on stirring up drama.

  • temeela [she/them]
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    2 years ago

    You cannot leave me because I’m leaving you, well that situation solved itself. That said I am concerned about 196.

    • @[email protected]
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      182 years ago

      Isn’t it funny how there were no complaints until there was a post here asking about defederation?

      • GarfGirl [she/her]
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        1 year ago

        [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

        • Moss
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          2 years ago

          What chaser things have I defended?? I’m trans I don’t see how I could be a chaser and I don’t even know what I could do to earn the title. It seems like this post was never brought to our attention, because we check every report we receive and remove the ones that should be removed. What we don’t check, however, is every post as we do not have the mod numbers for that. We can only see what you guys bring to our attention through reports.

          • GarfGirl [she/her]
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            1 year ago

            [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

            • @[email protected]
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              172 years ago

              Hi, that was me (on my kbin account). That’s a quote pulled out of context. It was just a response to a direct question about whether I personally was attracted to trans men. It’s not a fetishization.

              • GarfGirl [she/her]
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                1 year ago

                [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

                • @[email protected]
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                  172 years ago

                  That’s why I said it probably wouldn’t work. Most trans people would feel uncomfortable in that situation, so of course we wouldn’t pursue a relationship.

                  I did know someone (casually, did not date) who was a pre-transition trans man who wasn’t terribly bothered by letting cis men enjoy his boobs, which is why I brought up that specific scenario. I don’t know if he dated cis men, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I also assume that if he did, then the relationship would probably stay pretty casual with a planned end date of whenever he started physically transitioning.

                  There’s also a reason Moss - and most people, including Ada - were frustrated enough with the reports to publicly say “this is not transphobia”. Because it’s not, and some people are too quick to be triggered.

            • Moss
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              2 years ago

              Oh yeah I remember this whole fiasco. The argument was literally just attraction to body types/features versus attraction to genders. This person was expressing that they’re only attracted to archetypaly “female” body features but are open to dating any one of any gender identity. The whole fight is basically just people thinking that they’re fetishizing trans men when they’re just expressing that well they’re fine with dating someone with a masculine identity, they don’t think it would work if the person wasn’t comfortable in a feminine body. I don’t really want to get into this again, but there’s nothing wrong with that in it of itself.

              • @[email protected]
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                202 years ago

                Some folks refuse to believe there are different levels of dysphoria. Like so many things, it’s a spectrum.

                • Moss
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                  192 years ago

                  Seriously! I’m transfem, have been for years, 2 years on hormones, but I have no problem with my voice. Let it be masculine! Who the fuck cares. It doesn’t matter! Lot of trans people feel similar ways about different things

          • hypelightfly
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            2 years ago

            They’re referring to the screenshot of a post where you said a user’s comment about who they are attracted to was not transphobic and to stop reporting it.

            IIRC, at the time it lead to the thread being removed due to other transphobic comments. When asked Ada clarified that the comment hexbear is complaining about as being a chaser was not the reason for this post:

            https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/1246514

            • Moss
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              162 years ago

              Yeah neither of us viewed the comment as a problem. There was a bunch of stuff surrounding it, and the user did end up getting some stuff removed, and I did end up having to delete the thread, but none of that was due to the original comment

    • @[email protected]OP
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      172 years ago

      People are so caught up with hating hexbear users that the whole 196 mod drama is probably going to be overlooked. I’m waiting to see the statement from our instance mods before deciding if this place is really for me

      • @[email protected]
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        102 years ago

        if that screenshot of the mod log isn’t leaving out important context then this looks pretty bad, hexbear users aren’t alone in seeing a decent amount of reactionary language and talking points here in the past few weeks. in all fairness tho most of it probably isn’t intentional

      • AdaM
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        272 years ago

        What sort of statement? Except for the ableist comments that occurred last night when I was sleeping, everything else in that post had been actively addressed long before hexbear was on the scene.

        The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.

        • Leraje
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          72 years ago

          The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.

          Thank you :)

        • @[email protected]OP
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          82 years ago

          Thank you for addressing that.

          I was expecting a statement about mod integrity on 196 and Moss leaking DMs to start drama, but after sleeping on it I think that some of the issues raised by HB are somewhat disingenuous (e.g. the transphobia cited). I still have concerns about the maturity of the 196 mod team though.

          For what it’s worth, this whole situation just shows how good of an admin you are. For that I don’t think I’m leaving

      • Good Girl [she/they]
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        72 years ago

        Yeah I’m all out. I’ll keep modding my art and nsfw comms (though they’re somewhat inactive) but that’s as far as I’ll go.

    • First Majestic Comet
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      202 years ago

      They exited on mutual agreement I guess

      Well technically not mutual agreement until/unless we also defederate from them. Which I still am in support of.

  • @[email protected]
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    432 years ago

    I think the fact that they’re fully defederating over accusations against a single community instead of just blocking that community is telling.

    • @[email protected]
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      2 years ago

      I’ll take blahaj over HB in a heartbeat, but Ada did the exact same thing to lemmynsfw.

        • @[email protected]
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          242 years ago

          Nope. And especially in this instance as it is directly refutes the praise that the op was giving. Sorry, programming won’t let me keep quiet on hypocrisy.

        • @[email protected]
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          2 years ago

          I’m not sad about the outcome (it definitely helps me not getting too horny on main;) but the parallel is not completely unwarranted.

          I hope we learned from the nsfw fiasco, as I hope they learned from the 196 fiasco.

  • GarfGirl [she/her]
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    1 year ago

    [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

    • RiikkaTheIcePrincess
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      32 years ago

      I was about to yell “Good riddance!” and go running to join the transy-sharky-instance but we just really ‘can’t have nice things,’ can we :-\ :(

      • GarfGirl [she/her]
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        1 year ago

        [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

        • wethan2
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          12 years ago

          On kbin here, definitely can see them. If they did not federate with kbin that means they just can’t see kbin posts/comments

        • RiikkaTheIcePrincess
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          32 years ago

          I definitely see them O.o Kbin’s kinda weird. Maybe there’s spooky magic involved! … Okay, there isn’t, but I don’t know why I see them and seem to have no option to not see them without jumping ship.

      • GarfGirl [she/her]
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        1 year ago

        [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

        • Moss
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          2 years ago

          I didn’t call anyone braindead, and I left the slur in so that people would know what I said, and what I was apologizing for.

            • Moss
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              132 years ago

              That wasnt me the screenshot has the moderator responsible cropped out

                • Moss
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                  112 years ago

                  I saw that, I’ve had a talk with my team about using better language when resolving reports. Stuff like this shouldn’t be happening

          • GarfGirl [she/her]
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            [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

          • @[email protected]
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            42 years ago

            To be fair, the comment about criticism of Marxism Leninism being inherently racist because some MLs are not white was, in a technical sense of the term, totally braindead.

            I’ve gone a few rounds with another HB poster trying to get some clarity, but that seems to indeed be the sum total of the argument.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      72 years ago

      I really wanted the two instances to stay federated and advocated for such, but now I’m not sure if I even want to be here. Here’s hoping we can commandeer 196 and make sure it’s based and doesn’t end up like the reddit one

  • @[email protected]
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    2 years ago

    They have a very different view of what constitutes an unsafe space, for the last day or so every time I saw a username with pronouns my whole body would tighten up anticipating some randomly aggressive attack post. I hate that they made me feel that way about something that should be good. I will not miss them.

    • First Majestic Comet
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      362 years ago

      One of them made a post on Egg_irl with Astolfo which seems to be almost saying that they think Femboys and GNC are just trans girls in denial. Really didn’t sit well with me since I know that that kind of think is very hurtful to Femboys and has been very hurtful to me as well as an Agender.

      • Aesthesiaphilia
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        42 years ago

        I had a blahaj person make a similar response to a message of mine a few weeks ago, before hexbear was even on the radar. I just rolled my eyes and may have sent some sort of “wow, what a dumb take” response or something.

      • GarfGirl [she/her]
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        [I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]

        • First Majestic Comet
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          2 years ago

          Edit: hexbear is currently down so I can’t, I’ll remove the post as soon as hexbear comes back online

          I just looked and Hexbear seems to be back up but they now have a blocked list and lemmy.blahaj.zone is on it. Seems they defederated from us.

          Edit 2: hexbear is still not coming back up so I’ll report the post on this account and ask the mods to delete it, sorry for any discomfort I caused you

          All is forgiven 😉

        • AdaM
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          142 years ago

          Removed at your request

        • Aesthesiaphilia
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          42 years ago

          OH whew thank you, I thought it was just my VPN that had gotten blocked. I wasn’t able to see any of the hexbear links.

        • Lols [they/them]
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          32 years ago

          iirc, deleting the post from hexbear would not have done anything, defederation affects any interaction with blahaj

          • First Majestic Comet
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            12 years ago

            At the time it was still federated with our site, not anymore though, lemmy.blahaj.zone is now their first entry on the block list.

  • Kes
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    62 years ago

    They can block specific communities like lemmy.world did with the major piracy community. If they have a problem with a specific community but not the rest of the instance, they didn’t need to go so far as to defederate from the entire lemmy.blahaj.zone instance, though given current tensions between the two instances I doubt they’ll be missed. Either way, it is a massive strength of the fediverse that when admins make these decisions, users can easily leave and move to another instance with very little hassle

  • NaN
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    52 years ago

    Good for them. Amateur hour over here.

      • NaN
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        22 years ago

        Aww, but then I couldn’t see your future antics.

    • @[email protected]
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      2 years ago

      Moderation decisions are often contentious, especially when communities are as idiosyncratic as 196. The thing to do is first to cool off a bit, then to have a dialogue, first with the other users involved in the thread and then possibly with the mods.

      That’s not the path this gentleman took. No, he charged into the meta community calling the mod ableist, racist and a chaser enabler and demanding his removal. That’s just not how we do things here. That path only leads to more acrimony.

      This is bad, but then it got a lot worse. He whipped his entire instance into a huge frenzy, leading to dogpiling and defederation.

      These guys are simply not able to work through disagreements in a productive manner. And they create disagreements for sport.

      So yes, moderation on 196 could be better. I’m sure they learned a lesson from this. But everything that happened after the initial mod decision rested squarely on the shoulders of Nakoichi and the admins of hexbear.

    • yukichigai
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      2 years ago

      Issues with 196 aside, those Hexbear folks sure are a contentious people.

      • Gamma
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        32 years ago

        What’s up with 196? I blocked their community weeks ago