I have kept a bottle of bubbles in the fridge for one of two possible celebrations for far too long now.
Am I the other one?
Do you powder your face with orange tang?
He said for a long time. Trumps first presidency was disorganized random shit. Not something to save a bottle for. Besides, even if there was a bottle from 2016-2020, I think it would have been used in 2020 when Biden won. At the time, you’d assume that would be the end of trump, but he’s like a cockroach. Still though, that bottle would be gone. So I think it’s more likely the second bottle would be for Mitch McConnell.
Yeah. He STILL exists. Forgot about him, didn’t ya?
Trump’s first presidency ended during COVID’s first year, he killed hundreds of thousands, excess deaths were over 600k for the first year.
The store has more bottles.
My “bubbly list” is creeping up. On top of the obvious choices, I’ve added a handful of the old guard Democratic dipshits that more or less actively helped us sleepwalk into this complete clusterfuck.
Yeah, but at least we got rid of kissenger.
My point is that I would take him in a heartbeat over this shit
But my point is, he said two OLD bottles. I wouldn’t call 2 months old.
Actually they said they have a single bottle meant for 2 possible occasions worth celebrating. One would be Putin death. Can you guess the other occasion for celebration?
I don’t drink but maybe I should get a bottle in case one of three people move onto their judgement.
I always wondered about his health. I’ve seen state photos of him sitting at the end of a ridiculously long table. People interpreted it as a power move, but it could also be because his immune system is fucked. Not a doc, but I know there’s quite a few treatments that end up suppressing the immune system.
Although given the amount of people he’s ordered poisoned, I’d want to keep my distance from everyone who might hold a grudge too.
Putin being at the end of the table is probably because he’s terrified of being assassinated, but the photos of him at the last Victory Day Parade look terrible. Out of makeup, he looks look a walking corpse.
IIRC the long tables started during COVID.
Not too long ago there were videos of him where his hands were shaking until he grabbed the table.
people can live a long time with parkinsons
But many kinds of medicine can induce Parkinson’s.
Please someone send this to uplifting news.
Hooo! If this is true Russia’s in for it. He’s been very effective at eliminating any possible successors. Hopefully the nukes stay safe.
There’s probably a bunch of also bad people waiting in line to take his place. But would still celebrate his death though.
Probably, but there’s likely to be a lot of infighting about which one of them would take over.
Ok, if Rasputin really was a reality shifting wizard, he’d come back as soon as putin dies, sit on the throne and said “Miss me?” with ZERO context or explanation.
I hope they forget to renew their window-falling insurance
Russian windows are uninsurable
Some good news finally
After Stalin it took more than 50 years for anyone to achieve the kind of power that he had. Once Valodja is gone (can’t be soon enough), the situation will be similar. The satraps will fight among themselves and maybe, just maybe there will be some meaningful opposition again.
Russia will collapse immediately. Their military is a joke. The only tactics they have are meat swarms and those are severely depleted.
China will seize huge swaths of land, Chechnya will break off, it’s going to be insane how fast it will implode
Russia collapses immediately for centuries, yet nothing ever really happened.
It’s also important to note that Putin intentionally keeps all other leaders in Russia as weak as possible to maintain his iron grip. Unless he has a very good succession plan, things could become quite a clusterfuck before the dust settles.
Let’s hope there’s a bunch so they stay busy fighting each other for it, instead of other people.
Yes, there are bad people waiting, but whoever comes in would be a fool to keep the Ukraine war going.
At least whoever takes over next has good reason to rescind the war effort. Unlike the panty poisoner who is locked into this by his imperious attitude
Yes. But there will be a huge power vaccume. They will tear each other into pieces to get to the thrown
I hope whatever happens, the world can find some more stability, peace, and freedom soon. This decade will be spoken about for the next couple hundred years at least.
There’s no way we have a couple hundred more years on this planet.
I wonder what Trump will do once the puppetmaster has perished.
I remember when this decade started and me and everybody thought if we could just get rid of covid everything will be fine again.
I’m sure the next soulless monster is lined up to take control of the cesspool.
They’ll have to fight the other soulless monsters to the front of the line.
This will be a clash between organizations, not between people per se. KGB/FSB will fight other branches of the Russia’s junta for whose candidate will get the job.
rumors about the Russian leader’s failing health.
Yeah yeah, we’ve had these for years now. Wake me up when Russia’s new president signs a peace deal that isn’t a full on annexation of Ukrainian territories with nothing in return. If that ever happens.
It will be true eventually
Putin cancer and Trump legal consequences: this time for sure™️
That’s true. But it’s also true that the guy isn’t immortal.
Technically not proven yet. Hopefully soon.
When the time eventually comes, I wonder how big of a bloodbath the change of regimes will be?
Oh, geez, we can only hope it’s soon.
Anyone done a health check on our Dear Leader of The Most Perfect Health Kim Il Trump?
My worry is that if Putin is on his death bed that he will launch the nukes because he wants to take the world with him. Trump would probably do the same.
I very highly doubt that Putin would do this. Putin isn’t a genius, but he’s nowhere near being an idiot. He knows if he did that, Russia would die with the rest of the world. And he’s never given any sort of hint that he’s the kind of person that wants the whole world to die with him.
Not only that, but like the United States, it isn’t actually Putin who launches the nukes. And there are historical instances of Russian nuclear officers refusing to launch nukes. I honestly trust the warmongering, imperialist dictator Putin not to launch more than I trust our own president, and that’s terrifying to think about. Because Trump IS exactly the sort of person to order a nuclear launch because he’s throwing a hissy fit and believes the myth of American exceptionalism.
I honestly don’t think this, but who knows. What could be a bad result is some worse leader stepping in or a coup requiring force to execute, then that person flexing their power with an even more violent purge. That seems to happen with unplanned changes of power. They have to kill the “offspring” of the previous leader and eliminate criticism or competition.
It doesn’t really matter, even if he gives the order, nobody will push the button for him. Unless NATO tanks are rolling over the border or rockets are falling on Moscow, military commanders will not choose to end their lives (along millions).
Not only that. A large proportion of Russian nukes won’t work.
Even 1% of their remaining stockpile would do a staggering amount of damage to the world.
I used to believe this too, but I’m not so sure anymore. Look at how pathetic and groveling Republicans are around Trump. The cult is real, the propaganda is strong, and people are weak minded.
I just can’t help but think of that scene in Conan the Barbarian where Thulsa Doom shows Conan what is true power - people listening to his orders without any care for their wellbeing (the scene where the girl jumps to her death because Thulsa Doom told her to jump). People do this type of shit for religions, and a cult is a religion
I’m worried that he actually died during his first term (when he caught COVID) and was replaced with a younger stunt double - and that they could just keep doing this forever. I mean, it wouldn’t be that much more unbelievable than what’s already happened.
It was Biden in a fat suit this whole time.
Shhh! The MAGA idiots could totally fall for that.
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This is why I’m against anti aging research. I can’t get over how bad it would be if anti-aging tech arrives. Only the wealthy and powerful could afford it.
Depends on the flavor of the research. I’m all for still dying in my 70s but also am for being relatively fuckable until the very end.
This is referred to as healthspan or HALE and has been gaining research interest in recent decades.
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No anti-aging drugs and surgery can replace a healthy lifestyle with enough sleep, a balanced diet, abstaining from smoking, alcohol or other drugs and regular exercise.
Ozzy Osbourne outlived some of my healthy friends.
Why 70 ? Over 20 are all zombies … /s
Technically DIY gene therapy already exists. You probably can’t afford to do it working at McDonalds if you pay rent, but it’s something.
But yeah, there isn’t any real reverse-aging tech, yet. Not until that lobster scientist figures out how to extend telomeres, the stem cell dudes figure out how to regenerate entire organs, and the CRISPER dudes invent a way for the cascade proteins to target degraded or virus-alterred DNA regularly. Even then, humans aren’t really built to live past reproductive ages, even a perfect genetic condition would accumulate tissues in all the wrong places.
I think what the world truly needs is lower total populations only achievable via education and empowerment of young men and women. Mostly women. Especially the empowerment part.
Great comment
really hope he doesnt pull a kissinger. that fuck let us wait for so long, when it actually happened, it was kinda like a wet fart
My reaction: he was STILL alive! These deals with the devil keep getting better and better.
My man. I’ve been doing that since I was 5 years old. It is a fucking TRAVESTY that even living in 2010 during the nostolgia orgins era, PeeWee Herman never got redemption in getting his show return to CBS. Although to be fair, by the time 2010 rolled around the whole concept of Saturday morning cartoons was dead. So it would be kind of weird to sandwich PeeWee’s Playhouse between CBS morning news and Meet the Press.
Still though…
Haven’t we heard this one before?
Satan is eager to collect.
Iiiiiiin the afterlife, he’ll be headed for some serious strife. He can make the scene all day, but tomorrow there’ll be Hell to pay…
Wow, that’s a flashback.
I haven’t thought about Squirrel Nut Zippers in at least 20 years.
Streetlight Manifesto has an excellent cover of that song as well, if you’re interested!
Yup. He had a cancer and mostly healed from it.
Happens.
One thing is sure. Zelenskyy will outlive him.
And I hope Putin outlives the Russian Federation.
…and dies as soon as possible, anyway. Preferably before April.
No matter how many bad people are waiting to take his place, one less Putin in the world is a net positive.
His replacement will almost certainly be bad but they will have the opportunity to hang the whole Ukraine debacle on Putin and end the war. No certainty of this of course, but it’s possible.
They will of course attempt to keep the lands gained, they will be obliged to play the card of the referendum regions. But most of all they will need support, Oligarchs losing money, public losing sons, jobs, purchasing power. They will need to regain a hold on power and they cant do that by projecting what they have.
I’ll believe it when I see it.
He’s a hard cockroach to get rid of.
They’re giving him the Lenin treatment before he’s even dead
He’s going to be around forever
Only the good die young, assholes live FOREVER
Stalin tried to enforce the Lenin treatment for himself…
It doesn’t always stick.
The next person to gain power is 100% going to clean house, because the Russian government is a pit of back biting vipers.
You’re not worried that Putin is really just a puppet for all the oligarchs running the place now? Seems likely they’ll pick a new puppet.
A puppet is someone whose actions are fully steered from the outside.
Putin is a person chosen by KGB/FSB because he makes decisions that are very useful its leaders, but he retains a large amount of autonomy.
They’re all in it together, but the ones less loyal to Putin have a habit of dying.
Putin has had a bunch of them killed.
There’s a great podcast called Sad Oligarch that goes over it all.
So yeah, Putin is not currently a puppet ruler.
Good to know, I’ll check out that podcast. It sounds pretty interesting.
Evil has a way to endure. Just look at Mitch McConnell.
Or Kissinger
That’s who I was thinking of when I first had the thought. Thanks for the reminder
The good news is that Moscow Mitch will be dead soon, too.
So far in our species history, the most rich and powerful have not been able to defeat father time (they want to, but they can’t figure out how … Yet).
When I watched the first season of altered carbon, all I thought of was how the worst of our species will be the ones to live forever. I think avoiding death is really just a bio-engineering problem, and will be figured out if climate change doesn’t unalive us all first
Let’s see them escape heat death of the universe
But then we have to suffer dealing with them for a few billion years lol
Oh cool everybody loves a Russian power vacuum
What about second Kursk invasion?
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No, it’s probably worse this time. That wasn’t a vacuum so much as two organised coups in quick succession.
You mistyped Chinese vassal state
Is that like a very tight power bottom?
