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god this place is full of incels. grow a pair. real men don’t whine and blame other people. real men take responsibility and find solutions. real men have mature emotional intelligence. real men understand women’s wants and needs. real men pick up on cues and don’t make things awkward. maybe if you spent some time interacting with real people in real life, you wouldn’t be bitter.
the meme is perfect, btw.
Real men definitely whine and blame other people, millions of them are doing it every day.
Real men are a spook
Boys are taught to ignore emotions (“are you crying? Man up!”)
But emotions is what connects humans (and animals for that matter) and can’t really be ignored anyway
Join the two… and you get loneliness, frustration, rage.
We should start a conversation on emotional education (not only for boys but especially for boys)
I think it’s in our nature.
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they generally just go with what they prefer in the moment along lines that don’t match the gender binary
Nope. Lego did a large behavioural study on this because this was their assumption, they thought they were doing completely gender-neutral stuff, but even controlling for parents’s biases their stuff wasn’t gender-neutral when it came to actually be interesting to kids. I’m talking about stuff like the city series, here: A street, bunch of houses, bunch of minifigs. Figures that the girls by and large where looking at the inside of the buildings, finding them empty, and lost interest while boys where seeing the streets, found ample of detail and also a car to drive around, and created stories. There are, of course, as always exceptions to the binary but the overall trend was undeniable.
That (and the insistence of US stores on not having gender-neutral isles and putting Lego in the boy’s section) made them create the Friends series: Detailed house interiors, larger, more detailed minifigs. The pink is for the stores and parents, the interiors for the girls, the build-what-you-want flexibility for the humans.
Generally speaking, I think that difference feminism has been discarded prematurely. Sure, none of the normative BS that many of its proponents espoused should ever see the light of day, but denying difference is harmful in its own way, and the reason is the inevitability of essentialising: If you say “there is no difference at all between men and women” you’re bound to essentialise everyone towards your own gender. And it’s way better to be essentialised as an apple when you’re an apple than it is to be essentialised as a pear.
Do you realise that kids before puberty don’t have much difference from biological point of view. Sexual organs are not developed or fully developed and no hormones to speak of.
The story of Lego you said… cool you can control parents behaviour… what about peer pressure? Or the idea was to control the parents of a whole town (including Cartoons and TV shows)?
Boys develop coarse motor skills first, then fine motor skills, for girls it’s the other way around. Which also means that girls are quite good at sitting still in primary school, boys, without getting tired out in recess, very much aren’t. Cue “behavioural issues”.
Lego did control for everything that could be controlled. They’re the OG “our toys are for everyone” company. They thought that their stuff was gender neutral, that stores and parents, society, were the problem, but had to admit that, no, kids actually do have, statistically speaking, different play preferences. Their female set designers didn’t catch it because they were not kids, any more.
And “no hormones to speak of” MF if there were no hormones involved male karyotypes would develop female.
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I don’t believe there is no difference at all between men and women. I simply believe that a lot of the things we say are inherent differences are actually not as inherent as people tend to believe.
Depending on who you mean with “we” I definitely agree.
For example, I’ve seen no evidence that women are inherently more kind/caring/empathetic than men in any biological way, only that society socializes them to be so,
…and fails at doing so, if I may add. Male-pattern aggression is simply more obvious because it’s in your face physical while female-pattern is psychological, always ensuring plausible deniability.
Yet if you ask most people, they’ll assume there’s something biological that makes women more like that emotionally.
Women favour low-risk engagement, passive aggressiveness over overt aggressiveness. Thus you see emotional manipulation used way more often, one approach being self-victim-framing, and for that the narrative of “oh women are so delicate and emotional they have to be protected no matter what they do” fits the bill. Female viciousness is beautiful but I very much prefer it in the “never start a fight, but always finish it” version. Relevant symphonic metal. Also if you’re trying it with me you’re getting tickled into submission.
Having kids changed my view. Originally I believed nature influenced our gender roles. Since having kids I have seen in my kids and others that there are clear differences in how both boys and girls interact with the world and both are pretty incredible to watch. I think maybe the idea that being more stoic and less emotional is ok.
Saying all that, there are definitely cultural influences that can take these inherent traits to toxic levels.
I’d like to see studies showing when kids are left to their own that they will trend towards non traditional gender based toys. My gut is believing that this may not need proof that girls and boys do not experience emotions with similar intensity.
One thing I think is a clear difference is attention to details between men and women. What I worry is that if we start thinking men and women are more similar than they are we could run into problems when average people wrongly assume the other experiences things they do.
Because nobody wants men to be emotional. When I started opening up is when my marriage started falling apart lol
If opening up is what caused the marriage to fall apart, it was built on a broken foundation and was doomed from the start. You’re only finding out now because emotional unavailability hides that sort of thing.
Yeah happens even before marriage.
Yeah I ain’t ever showing emotions again except to a paid professional lmao.
Most women want someone very emotionally stable
Lol maybe talk to nicer women?
It’s not a “niceness” thing it’s instinctual
That’s so fucking silly
Why? Women want stability and protection usually
I just want to butt in that while the meme is stupid, most women are not awful either.
No of course they aren’t. Who said they are?
I’m saying women are put off my emotional instability aka “showing your feelings”
You’d be surprised
Yeah as I said… emotional education should not be only for boys.
Sorry mate (or congratulation… depending from the context 🙂)
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The guys saying the top three things aren’t necessarily the same as those saying the bottom thing. But there is definitely some overlap. Which is depressing. Though, I mean is that really that surprising given the state of the world and how stupid the average person is?
The loneliness epidemic also effects women. We’re all more lonely and miserable these days. I think really men and women are alienated from each other in large numbers due to internet brain rot. And being too broke to do anything outside except like… go to a public park or a library or something.
The shitty rightwing politics comes after, the average person is too stupid to not get immediately sucked into manipulative rightwing grift when they’re painfully lonely.
I say this as I consume internet brain rot myself. Though at least its on Lemmy and not Tik Tok, Reddit, or Facebook, and its during work, not my free time.
boss makes a dollar,
i make a dime,
that’s why i Lemmy
on company time
Best time to do anything is company time.
But going to the park or beach is fun. My first date with my partner was drinking cider on a park bench by a river.
My first date with ny husband we went on a walk on a trail near our home. We walked for 6 hours lol
Not everyone loves meandering around a park or beach. Though I’ll admit its good for our brains to do so. It always feels like a chore to me, I get bored.
Also was it alcoholic cider? That would explain why it was fun.
Also those places aren’t really great for meeting people and even then you don’t want to make those locations the only dating locations.
Cider is always alcoholic in the UK unless specifically sold as low alcohol. Typically first dates are not the same place you first meet someone.
Typically first dates are not the same place you first meet someone.
I know, but that there aren’t a lot of places to meet people in person without spending a bunch of money is a major problem and meeting people online to date sucks.
Memes is now shitting on genders ? Y’all fuckers don’t know shit about empathy, and about memes either.
check fediverse comments
several hit dogs hollering
.
Dude I’m lonely because I’m a hypersexual libido chameleon with a long term partner who has a pandas sex drive.
If you like football and your best friend doesn’t like football, what do you do? You beg your best friend to play football… but if they really don’t like football or it is just a “once in a while thing” what you do? Probably find another friend or group of friends that like football. Your best friend likely stays your best friend but now you are happy, your best friend is not annoyed by you asking playing football and you have new friends
Of course you don’t hide or lie to your best friend on what you do and when… otherwise they would be (rightfully) upset but if you share and they are mad that you want to have new friends it’s on them to be unreasonable.
Well here Ethical non monogamy in a nutshell in a context where it is socially acceptable 🤷♂️
For everyone seeing this post on /all and trying to engage in good faith, remember that this is a .ml community.
Please, can you explain me what “.ml” is for? It is for “male” or something like that?
Edit: I do not know a lot about Lemmy Instances. I only use lemmy.world and mujico.org.
Yes… It’s because of the few loud-mouthed, salty, misogynists that men are generally lonely.
Maybe if this wasn’t the attitude towards me all the time, there’d be less young boys listening to twats like Andrew Tate.
Or maybe if there were less young boys listening to Andrew Tate there wouldn’t be that attitude towards men?
That attitude existed before Tate came onto the scene. Try again.
True, but that doesn’t excuse that he promotes behaviors and thought patterns which reinforces reasons why people have certain attitudes towards men.
Andrew Tate is so successful because there already existed the conditions to radicalise young people for quite some time.
Cult leaders or radical leaders don’t have a platform if everyone is just fine. No-one in a healthy environment wakes up in the morning and decides “let’s start some hateful shit, because it’s just so much fun!”
You can keep digging the trenches if you want. Why do you want to alienate people for the sake of it?
I actually do not alienate, but I do criticize when necessary.
I have a close relative who took the red pill and is all in on the manosphere. Sometimes he sends me, and I’m not even kidding, 30 messages in a day about all the manosphere content he watches; but we still hang out and talk. I don’t comment on everything he sends me if it is something we have already debated over. If it is something different or something I find to be egregious, I do call him out on it.
To be fair, some days are harder than others to hear his bullshit, and I take a break and mute his messages for a while. I feel overall I still value him as a person and it is important to interact with him. However, I can also empathize with those that want nothing to do with someone who holds those opinions.
Downvoted for being unnecessarily antagonistic.
Lemmy is really going down the shitter
if the problem is that men have loneliness issues i have a solution.
it’s men, more than one, become friends.
is there a issue with modern social alienation caused by individual atomisation? yes.
should we focus on it? yes
does it mean that women owe them sex? fuck no,
This is just a toxic gender wars meme. Go outside, touch some grass, meet someone nice and move on with life. Memes like this come from and perpetuate the loneliness epidemic.
Couldn’t agree more, matey :)
Accurately observing that the “male loneliness epidemic” is self-inflicted bullshit isn’t “toxic gender wars” except if you are a right wing traitor lunatic.
Edit: if you genuinely believe there is a male loneliness epidemic that is not self-inflicted, you deserve a whole lot worse than prison.
> capitalism
> self-inflictedSure, bud.
Lmao is a worthless traitor dumbfuck trying to pretend that capitalism is the root cause of “male loneliness”? That’s some bottom of the barrel thinking even for incels. Reminds me of the braincel shitbag who said women should be redistributed via Marxism. Shore bud indeed, traitor.
Alienation. Exploitation. Heard of it?
Capitalism has bereft men even of the patriarchal provider role as there’s no fucking time in the day to earn both rent and have any type of social interaction, much less time to reflect on your approach to life. Your position as a gear churning out profit for the bosses has been meticulously designed and drilled into you while you were a kid, blind obedience instilled by teachers and BS “zero tolerance punish the victim” rules. There is no use for you aside from that assigned role, happiness, connection, community, work//life balance? Don’t make a profit. Get out of here with that commie nonsense we have quarterly figures to hit.
Or, maybe, yes, you do have a point: I should have said late-stage capitalism. The internal contradictions are actively eroding it by now.
That’s not at all what people mean at all. Men are not more alienated than any other gender by capitalist lunacy. This “male loneliness epidemic” is a euphemism for late stage male supremacy.
You’re right after that comes the patriarchal, or just gendered, double-whammy: Women culturally do have more of a support network, even just in the “friends hanging out” way, as the male “do things together, chop wood, go fishing” is regarded as work, not leisure, and thus co-opted by capitalism: “What do you need to chop food and fish for, go buy fuel and food are you poor or something”. Thus all the productive time men have is spent in a hierarchical worker-boss environment, never “pals doing stuff”, cue loss of connection, alienation from broader society, loneliness. Going bowling? Time not spent hustling, you’re a loser. That’s your mind on patriarchal capitalism.
Thus, even if the starting conditions inflicted by capitalism are, for the sake of argument, completely even, it still hits men harder when it comes to loneliness. Women are more affected in other ways. This isn’t an olympics, it’s analysis of the material conditions we live under.
Wow yikes. You sound like fun at parties. Go find someone to care about.
For the record, I think there is a loneliness epidemic for both genders.
People who say “you must be fun at parties” deserve a whole lot worse than prison.
Lemmy is full of misogynists, so good luck posting these. Fight the good fight
Isn’t the meme misandrist?
No, and further, who cares? Misandry isn’t a problem compared to misogyny, and likely wouldn’t exist if there was no misogyny as it tends to be an emotional reaction to misogynistic abuse by men.
Misogyny, however, is the status quo, men learn enforcement of misogyny through other men (and sometimes women) and their testosterone and beliefs/choices keeps them enforcing (per Sapolsky, T doesn’t cause aggression but enforcement). Any dissent by women against misogyny is dismissed, as the system itself is self protective against dissent and nebulous “feminity,” whatever that may be (eg by today’s standards, Jesus, just looking at him on a sidewalk, codes as a poss transwoman or NB in his dress and with his long hair). The goalposts of “woman bad” are therefore moved by other men to manipulate men behaviorally and economically. They kill and rape their own families for misogyny. They go to war for misogyny. A system of oppression they uphold even to their own detriment.
Misandry, on the other hand, is women responding to this system and being so traumatized that they literally hate all men, because of how men treat them in their enforcement of misogyny which leads to enslavement of women and removal of autonomy. Misandry doesn’t do that to men. Men have never been forbidden from owning land unless they find a man to enslave them and rape them for life.
Literally that’s what the threat of misogyny and marriage brings- I, the man, will hoard safety and resources and make the world unsafe with my actions, as a direct threat to women if they don’t want to fuck me and be enslaved to me. I will force women into proximity with me or those women can just die.
Misandry however, is more like, I will defend myself against men, all men are evil (heuristic that isn’t totally accurate), I will use force to defend myself against men including verbal attacks, refusing to caretake, and physical attacks. I will live without men because of their harm to me and others. Men will have to find their own societies and comfort in each other.
See how misandry isn’t trying to force a whole gender into enslavement? Unlike misogyny which not only is trying to do so including with current policies being passed in the US, but has already done so in the past?
They aren’t equivalent. Whatabout misandry when misogyny is and has always been the biggest issue of control at a societal level AND individual level is wild and shows that you are a misogynist yourself fyi.
Misandry isn’t a problem compared to misogyny, and likely wouldn’t exist if there was no misogyny
This is what peak anti-male sexism looks like.
“Who cares?” Yeah, not your pathetic, empathy-free ass, you’ve made that abundantly clear.
For shame.
Men don’t deserve empathy.
And it’s not peak anti-male sexism, lol you soft cupcake
Men don’t deserve empathy.
You’re sexist scum.
No, and interesting you choose to throw a tantrum when I won’t perform emotional labor for you that you feel entitled to. I don’t do shit for you.
Men don’t deserve empathy.
What a frustrated poor little creature you seem to be.
You’re entitled to the emotional labor of others?
I, the man, will hoard safety and resources and make the world unsafe with my actions
Mr. President, is that you?
Yes, he is an obvious example of a misogynist
Tho, I think your comment shows that you are a misandrist, with how you are trying to justify, downplay and even lowkey promoting it.
Anyway, not going to argue much about it here, since you seem to a misandrists who calls anyone who disagrees with your pov as a misogynist
Again, who cares? Men are literally enslaving and killing us all. Who even has time to be upset at misandry?
absolutely, but apparently such a concept “doesn’t exist.”
Yes. You can’t explain women’s pain to those who masturbate to it.
Is it ok to say I love that you’re using that reference as your username?
Yes :)
Well I do because it’s awesome. Personally I’m more of a Volume 2 guy, but also enjoy the masterfully subtle metaphors on Volume 1.
I agree great username xF
