- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/28523918
This made me laugh incredibly hard, so had to cross post it.
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Y’all would have killed Jesus.
fun fact… killing jesus was always god’s plan. god set adam and eve up in the garden specifically so he could LARP as a Nice Guy™. In fact, not killing jesus would have condemned humanity to eternal suffering, and therefore would have been sin. Not that anyone had a choice, because it’s all part of god’s plan, right, and god’s plan always comes to fruition.
If you believe in that sort of thing.
I don’t.
you say that now but when the (checks current feelings are still, oh good) flames of (checks notebook on latest revisions, hahah stupid assholes) HELL are kissing your feet while a succubus sits on your face and… ok brb this is fuckin hot…
If God is real, he’s evil.
The Abrahamic god is literally a war god. It evolved from El and Yahweh, members of the pantheon of the polytheistic Canaanite religion. El is the father of all gods and Yahweh is a weather and war god. So yeah no wonder that the Abrahamic god does crazy evil shit. Like killing all first born sons.
You just inspired another wikipedia rabbit hole. See you in a week!
LOL see you tomorrow
He could be just really, really stupid.
Doesn’t the Bible go on and on about how the devil is the great deceiver? Seems accurate considering how many people think God was the good guy.
What do you think the word “Deceiver” means in this context?
Fortunately; if god is real he got bored with this particular video game and moved onto some thing more exciting.
Yep, we’re living in God’s ant farm and he’s a bored toddler. And one day he’ll show up with a magnifying glass and have a laugh.
As long as Trump sizzles out before I do, I will be a happy man.
Dude looks like he’s a few hamberders away from croaking. but i’ve been saying that for a year or two now.
If life taught me anything, there is always room for dessert, and an extra hambie.
That’s why I’m an atheist. I’m too optimistic.
My belief is that, if there ever was a god, he looked at the world he created and died of Christian pity.
“Never forget in the story of Jesus, the hero was killed by the state” - Killer Mike.
Jesus, who came back from the dead? Like a zombie? Zombie Jesus is lord. I worship a zombie cult? I need to rethink my life.
It’s well known that since he came back from the dead but he didn’t decay or lose intelligence or anything, that Jesus was a lich.
Liches decay usually to skeletal levels.
But it’s a good point.
I asked Cohere (Canadian LLM/AI) what fits best:
The mythical creature that best matches the description of Jesus, who dies and returns to life while retaining his intelligence and physical form, is often associated with the concept of a “Resurrected Divine Being” rather than a specific mythical creature from folklore. However, if we look for parallels in mythology, the closest analogy might be:
The Phoenix
The Phoenix is a mythical bird that cyclically regenerates or is reborn. It dies in a burst of flames and then rises again, renewed and youthful, from its ashes. This symbolizes rebirth, immortality, and the triumph over death. While the Phoenix is not a direct theological match, its theme of death and resurrection aligns with the core aspect of Jesus’ story.
Other Considerations
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Osiris (Egyptian Mythology): Osiris, the god of the afterlife, was murdered by Set, dismembered, and later resurrected by Isis. He becomes the lord of the underworld and a symbol of rebirth and eternal life. This parallels the idea of dying and rising again, though Osiris remains in a divine, otherworldly state.
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Attis (Phrygian Mythology): Attis was a vegetation god who dies and is reborn annually, symbolizing the cycle of life and death. His resurrection is tied to the renewal of nature.
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Dionysus (Greek Mythology): Dionysus, the god of wine and fertility, was dismembered and then reborn, symbolizing rebirth and transformation. His resurrection is often tied to themes of renewal and divine power.
Conclusion
While none of these mythical creatures perfectly align with the theological specifics of Jesus (who is considered divine in Christianity and whose resurrection is central to Christian doctrine), the Phoenix is the closest in terms of the symbolic theme of death and rebirth. Jesus, however, transcends these mythical parallels as a figure of religious faith, not just a mythological archetype. His resurrection is presented as a unique, divine event rather than a cyclical or mythical phenomenon.
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Well he was from Palestine and had a darker complexion so most likely.
They really are the exact opposite of what they preach
If a man says Eat Me some of us take it as permission. Dude could turn water to wine he must have been delicious tho
These people are crazy. Even if you think that, keep it to yourself.
I hate mtg but you sound like the people who wanted all the Irish to be nice when Thatcher died. I’m an aboriginal person, and survivor of child sexually abuse, i will dance on the grave of the pope who defended and shielded pedos, and I will look at news of his death and say GOOD. And if you think that’s not nice:
I think they were saying “even if you think that the Pope is evil, keep it to yourself,” but you’re correct that they left it open to interpretation.
Yes this is what I meant
Your mom and I both think you’re cool.
Nah I just meant for people to keep their negative comments to themselves, referring to her thinking the pope was evil. I’m not even sure what you’re talking about.
I’m saying the pope was evil
Ah I see. Yea I have no opinion.
Not that i believe in heaven or hell but if they did exist im pretty sure the pope gonna be aight
Vultures.
It’s an alt-right social media trend: descend on the dead before they’re even cold.
That said, MTG is still dumb as bricks. Says a lot about MAGA, what type of women they bring forth. Sorry if that sounds sexist - or if, the sexism is not mine.
A smart woman tends not to advance the cause of misogyny no. They kinda don’t wanna end up like that chick from Handmaid’s Tale who got reading banned for her gender and now she’s bored.
At least Serena Joy was classy (well, you know, aside from the ceremonial rapes) and carried herself like a fucking human.
Gonna be honest, we should be thankful these freaks aren’t carrying themselves with dignity. People will respect horrible, horrible things done politely.
Super old guy: dies
MTG: IT COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN AN ACT OF GOD
The people in the white house are talking more and more like gaudy villains from 90’s anime.
Oh face of evil,
Oh Marjorie Trailer Queen,
The evil you know,
Is the evil you’ve seen.
Oh face of spite,
A reflection so mean,
The ugliest sight,
Is the one you preen.
Oh face of shame,
A soul so obscene,
The monster you blame,
Is the one you’ve been.
This is way too beautiful for that piece of trash.
But it’s really good. Did you write that?
Wrote the first part. Asked AI for two more based on the first and then tweaked the final. ✌️
now, all you motherfuckers, i wanna hear you scream!!!
at least, that’s how i’d have ended it
Attention whoring as usual. And it’s working.
She still looks like a neanderthal tho so at least we’ve got that going for us.
I’m sory, did you just call the fucking Pope evil?
And this pope was one of the least evil!
I guess she’s gotta be right at least once
Francis wasn’t evil
He was
Lol no
No you see, he was a communist demon because he committed the absolutely heresy of being 0.1% less conservative.
Can’t be the pope if you don’t hate minorities and immigrants ya know
This is the result of 40 years of Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, Rush Limbaugh, and all the other Right Wing Grifters that followed.
They know the lowest of us love cruelty as comedy.
And for some odd reason they are ALL avid voters.
Because they want to belong to “The Team.”
Let’s not forget Alex Jones, still holding on with this bare teeth claiming “The State” is after him. (heard a curated interview with Fucker Carlson yesterday, what a cringefest)
don’t forget the fucking “Westboro Baptist Church”
Speak not of the Devil, lest he raise his head…
If it were true that God defeats evil, Empty Greene would be a smouldering pile of ashes at a crossroads by now.
Karma is what we make it. The world don’t care.
Americans - is the consensus of MTG that she actually believes the grift? Obviously the likes of Vance just say whatever wins the room, but she always gave me the impression that she believes every word of maniacal conspiracy she tweets.
She’s a woman that has learned that she can get away with anything, as long as she behaves badly enough. She doesn’t need to believe it, though she probably does, she knows that is a strategy that works to avoid consequences.
Should we tell her there’ll be another Pope, or is it funnier to let her keep believing?
Hopefully one that pisses hateful bigots like her off even more.
#ZendayaForPope
Francis appointed most of the college of cardinals so more than likely we will get another woke pope. Hopefully this one is even woker.
I’m very afraid that the next pope will be somebody American catholic bishops would approve of. a trans hating, immigrant-hating asshole who will excuse everything Nazi America does like that one nazi pope did historically
Do you seriously think the Vatican is influenced by MAGA? Or by European far-right elements for that matter?
It’s no coincidence, no outlier, that the last one was slightly more tolerant on certain issues. (Apparently enough to piss off more than one US christofascist.) I fear MTG will not see God’s plan in whatever follows, either.
The American Catholic church hierarchy is reactionary and many of them are allied with MAGA. Think of shit-stains like Alito. Even Vance has converted to Catholicism, and there’s no way a twised fuck like him signed onto anything that promotes compassion or human decency. He’s more likely in it for the smell of incense, the Latin Mass, the Inquisition and the ancient tradition of diddling altar boys.
You do realize that there will be American cardinals involved in the voting process, right?
The Pope himself could end up being from the US.
Do you seriously think they’re not?
Do you really think the cia/nsa doesn’t have compromat? Or that Putin doesn’t?
Or that rich fucks like musk can’t buy a priest?
Are you really so confident the organization that made a deliberate effort to protect men who sexually assaulted children is going to do the right thing because it’s the right thing?l
Just to be clear, I’m not defending the Catholic Church here. At all. Just calling out USians who think the world revolves around their country.
revolves around? no. I don’t think that at all.
but I do know that roughly 28% of annual contributions come from the US, that the US is fourth on the list of ‘most Catholics’ by total numbers and the vatican would be pretty stupid to ignore those two points. and that is not even coming close to the question of corruption or doctrine.
Are they going to completely capitulate? probably not, but that doesn’t mean there’s no influence, either. Further, the vatican still opposes trans lifestyles doctrinaly, and Francis was the first pope to emphasize pastoral care over doctrine. It would not be difficult to imagine that conservative voices push back against that shift.
Thus I’m concerned that the next guy won’t be as supportive of trans as Francis was. Remember, Francis ruffled more than a few feathers with his progressiveness, not just american bishops (who are straight up assholes.)
Francis appointed most of the college of cardinals, and I find it unlikely he’d appoint someone so ready to buddy with fascism, so we will likely still have a liberal pope.
80% of the conclave was appointed by the Pope. I doubt it’s gonnabe a radical chnge in the Vatican.
She was likely against the somewhat liberal views of Pope Francis, like how Christians should be kind to gay people and refugees.
Heretic!
Even the pope is just a church organ. I meant, his “policy” if you will was more than just his own. It’s doubtful that Vance’s visit (I will run with the idea*) will bring forth a more conservative pope.
* “Rep. Nancy Mace (…) bizarrely insisted that a visit by U.S. Vice President JD Vance did not lead to the pope’s death.”
It’s highly likely the next pope will be conservative. There are different factions within the Vatican (and the church as a whole) and they get turns putting their guy in the big chair.
Francis appointed a majority of the voting cardinals. This isn’t a democracy, where people have groups that lobby in any meaningful way- the Pope is the supreme executive. Like a dictator.
So either he appointed in a stupid fashion, and the next pope is more conservative, or he appointed wisely, and the voters follow him with someone equally progressive in view.
(Progressive here, of course, is very, very relative.)
And to be clear, it’s not like, a slim majority. Of the 135 cardinals who will be voting for the next pope, Francis appointed 108 of them.
Don’t get me wrong- some of those have been quoted as saying some super backwards shit. But statistically, I would put my bet on “around about the same.”
Francis said that judgement should be suspended on gay individuals and theorized a gay cabal in the same sentence. That’s different than being kind to them.
But the next pope may be far more conservative than Francis, who by Catholic Church standards was unusually liberal.
I’ve been reading up on the front-runners for Pope and some of them are super old school illiberal. Though the fellow from Ghana does apparently concede that the laws on homosexuality in some African countries are a bit harsh.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/apr/21/who-next-pope-francis-potential-candidates-succeed
They really hated him because he was a little more tolerant of minorities.
She hated him because he was at least a little ok with some LGBT.
I hated him for being the leader of one of the biggest, most corrupt organizations ever to exist on the planet.
We are (fucking definitely) not the same.
Next week:
Margarine Trailer Queen: “What do you mean there’s another pope?!”
She probably will call it a “pop”
is there currently an antipope?
(edit, apparently there’s 3. lol.)
Like a lion kills an antelope.
Like a hammer hits a cantaloupe…
No more rhyming now! I mean it!
