I was in college during the years leading up to y2k and supported myself at the time getting IT infrastructure ready. Some friends and I decided to write a “virus” that, on bootup, checks to see if the current date is in the first week of January 2000 and if it is and a backup of the fonts is not found (so it’ll only run once) then it’ll back up your fonts and alter the originals to replace the y character with the k. This affected everything system wide.
That created more chaos than anticipated.
y2k
replace the y character with the k
I see what you did there
I’m dumb and/or stoned. Can you explain please? Shk gkpsk, slklk, sprklk, trkst bk mk crkpt?
Y to k Y 2 k
swaps Y and K keys.
Koure missing an a in sparklk
Mk bad tkvm
We used to edit the system keymapping on the school Macintoshes and duplicate a letter somewhere, and then we’d do the same to a second machine using the letter that the first could no longer type; then we’d switch the physical keycaps
kou know, to this dak i alwask wondered whk my computer alwaks did that. kou wilk rascal, kou!
I’m sorry, I don’t speak Dutch.
Kanker lekker
i assume that translates to “you pay half” :P
sounds like something I’d see on dancoot1
Supposedly there was a DOS virus that would spawn a pacman that would eat your letters as you typed them.
How about a programm which screams “aaaaaaa” after you unlock your screen. Barely hearable at first and it gets louder with every minute. People who don’t know how to remove it would have to lock and unlock their screens every 5 minutes or so.
I remember a harmless over that just randomly opened your CD tray while it ran. Called something like cup holder, or something like that.
Shit that was a long time ago…
If you rember that, it’s time to get your colonoscopy and prostate checked.
✅ Colonoscopy
⬜ Prostate exam
I’m 40yo. I’m practically in the grave already!
Uh oh, I can’t find my prostate. I’ll ask my gyno where it is on my next visit.
It’s your Skene’s gland. :-)
I wrote something like that back in HS and put it in the startup folder of every computer in our school library. I set it to wait about 10 minutes before opening the drive and then periodically after that
Simple, every now and again switch a key input with a neighboring key. Imagine slowly losing your confidence in your motor skills as you just can’t seem to type properly no matter how careful you are.
It would do it like once every 10-1000 minutes, you will never catch it and slowly lose your grip on reality.
That’s nasty
I swapped the N and M keys on a co-worker’s keyboard and even made a custom keyboard mapping for it as well.
Excuse me sir, they said “harmless”
I used to make a batch file that opened a command prompt that opened the batch file again and again and put it on the computers as the internet Explorer logo.
People would get so mad when they opened it as a cascade of cmd would open until the computer crashed
So something like that i think
Sounds like a weak fork bomb.
Oh, I have a seemingly harmless idea so evil, it will ruin the internet forever.
I will make it so every time you open any website, there will be a popup with a question that asks you to invade your privacy, and you can allow it to do so with one click, but you will have to dig through menus if you want to avoid it. Then, after some seconds, another popup will appear, asking you to create a login, no matter what you do. Then, it randomly will ask you to share your location. Yes, with a popup again. Then, just as you thought you’re done, another window will open, grabbing your focus, which will demand you talk to a chatbot, and you can’t close this one, only slightly minimize it.Also, autoplaying videos that pop up in the lower corner of your screen. It has a clear, easy to click “X” button to close, but every 100 px you scroll triggers a re-check of the video window to ensure it’s still open and playing. If it’s been closed or stopped, the pop up window respawns and/or the video restarts.
You should add one allowing this site that you’ve never been to before and don’t even know yet if it’s useful, to send you notifications.
How about wait until you’re at the end of the article. But before you can read the last paragraph or two a pop up to ask if I want to join their mailing list or some crap.
In the early 90s there was a virus going around that made the floppy drive’s loading noises play the Imperial March.
No wonder people here keep talking about how awesome 90s internet was.
No, you don’t understand.
The virus was distributed on a floppy disk with the Empire’s logo printed on the label.90s was wild
How about 512 floppy drives, 16 hard drives and 4 scanners?
The version I recall was once if those Flash animations with a cute squirrel or whatever saying something… but it was really quiet so you’d need to turn up the volume to hear. Then partway through it changed to sex stuff and blasted out in a voice like a monster truck announcer
“anal sex dot com, all anal, all the time!”
There was a guy in my dorm who really didn’t like his roommate. Really, really didn’t like him. This was in the early aughts.
So one day he goes on his roommate’s computer and puts a text file in his startup folder. The file says, “Your computer has been infected by the Snood virus!”
For context, Snood was a free video game people downloaded in the early aughts. Basically the same as Bust-A-Move, which probably doesn’t clarify anything if you didn’t already know what Snood is.
Anyway: “Your computer has been infected by the Snood virus! If you don’t score [extremely difficult but not completely unrealistic high score] points, all of your files will be deleted!”
He laughed to himself and promptly forgot about it.
Weeks later, the roommate is on his computer in the middle of the night.
“What are you doing up? Go to bed.”
“I can’t. It’s this stupid Snood virus.”
I remember a more modern iteration of a virus that forces you to play an extremely hard game:
It demands a score of 200 million points in one of the hardest installments of Touhou on the highest difficulty. And 200M is pretty high, basically you need to finish all 6 stages and score reasonably well.
I only know about Snood because of a LGR video about it, I don’t think that game ever reached Brazil
I have made some silly programs. One that moved the mouse pointer one pixel left, then down, right and up. It was quite annoying. Another that moved the mouse pointer when you reached the edge of the screen, touching the rightmost pixel row would move it to the left side of the screen and vice versa, same thing with top and bottom.
You basically invented the endless desktop functionality, lol
In my highschool programming class we made a TSR (in Borland pascal) that would change every 15th keypress to an “e”. It wasn’t self propagating, so it wasn’t a virus per day, but it was highly annoying. It survived on memory after the netware logoff, and you could only get rid of it by rebooting.
We also had these everex brand 286 or 386 computers… They had a little LCD screen that would read out what sector/track was being read on the disk. We found the memory address (80h) where we could write arbitrary text to the LCD. That was fun.
While the computer is on, at random intervals, it shall play the sound of a smoke alarm’s low battery beep using audio technology to make it sound like it’s coming from somewhere else in your house.
Every time you log in, maximize a window, lock your PC, etc, your desktop icons randomly arrange themselves by penis. Open a folder, forced to display files as icons and arranged by penis. Try to view all your open windows on your desktop, you guessed it, penis.
No, no, change it back! I had internet explorer at the tip of penis
Chip, you can’t arrange by penis
Just change it back okay
For those who haven’t seen the masterpiece:
The whole thing is worth the watch but the reference is at (about) 7:50
On somethingawful back in the day if you were on any one page on their forums for more then about 20 minutes, a audio clip would play that said something like “HEY EVERYBODY I’M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO”
I knew a guy who had a shitty boss so he set every key press and program function click (ok, cancel, etc.) to play that sound.
i remember one from GNAA (racist edge lords) that did that… it also spawned endless moving windows that were impossible to close so you had to hard power off the computer… also it maxed out the volume….
it was just javascript though