I’m going through a rough patch with my partner. I’m feeling really guilty about it, but they need time.

A bit stressful, but I’m doing okay. I’m in the middle of moving right now. Got all my stuff out so now I’m just cleaning. I’ve got until September 1st so I feel like I’m in a good place!

Worsening 📉

Last week I got my trauma appointment, fast tracked from next year, which was a nice surprise, and the doctor, nurses and staff turned out to be really nice and helpful, more than usual 😀. This week it turned out they’ve also fast tracked another appointment for a test, called me Monday to go right on Tuesday 😯… which turned out to basically confirm that my left leg is partly MIA, while the right is only slightly better 🤦. The next day I got a notification of another fast tracked appointment, for rehabilitation… and noticed that they’ve switched it form “normal” to, not just “priority”, but “urgent”… which explains the whole fast tracking, and now got me really worried 😟.

I can still walk around, but ever so slower, have to take a seat every few minutes, if I walk for too long I start falling over, can’t stay seated for too long without my back killing me, even on painkillers, and my left arm full on wakes me up at night when they wear off. Work is off the table, can barely do anything around the house, going to the nearest pharmacy requires “going uphill both ways” (literally), can’t start tackling the other problems like debt, inheritance (more debt, plus taxes, plus family drama), can’t really make any plans for the future, and next week I might end up home alone (with cats) without anyone to lend a hand.

On the “bright” side, the brain fog I’ve had for about a year after last time I got COVID, seems to be slowly lifting, which makes me see everything more clearly… or how many fires I’ve got to put off 🔥😰🔥

I recently recieved a bit of offhand news that has made me a lot more relaxed about an important meeting I have at the end of September.

I was speaking with a person I used to work with about a trip he and his fiancé took recently when he caually mentioned out of nowhere that the HR manager at work retired at the end of July. That random little fact sent my mind into a whirlwind for a couple days.

Just over a year ago I had been terminated from my job as an apprentice at a place that builds automation assembly lines. That termination came after I had brought up concerns and frustrations with how the company had begun treating people after covid arrived. I also brought up concerns about workplace culture and how toxic it had become.

I had been terminated approximately 10 months after the monthly employee meeting where I first confronted the GM (General Manager) about how apprentices were being treated poorly and not learning the proper skills. This is important because once people start retiring, there is going to be a huge skill and knowledge gap.

After that monthly meeting, I had a meeting with the fairness committee followed by a meeting with the HR manager with the fairness committee member on “my side.” That second meeting was basically me getting belittled and blamed for 3.5 hours.

Unhappy with the results and dealing with my declining mental health, I reached out to the corporate HR manager about the abusive management at my company and this manager made a huge effort to help me. She taught me all my rights as an employee, encouraged me to get help through the corporate employee hotline and when that failed, set up a meeting with me and her boss while beginning an investigation into the abusive environment at my company. Unfortunately before that meeting, my company terminated my employment.

I retained a lawyer and after about a year of some back and forth (things got delayed significantly because my lawyer got covid) I finally submitted my wrongful termination case against my company to the labour board. Up until this point I felt so uncertain and stressed about everything and was really doubting my decisions.

About a month after my submission to the labour board, my company replied back with 16 pages trying to have my case thrown out and attacking my character. They also responded through an outside law firm and not the corporate in-house lawyers. About 1.5 months after my submission, the HR manager retires. I found out she was scheduled to retire in 2024.

Suddenly my mediation meeting with the labour board and my company doesn’t seem so intimidating. Corporate refused to legally support my company and the HR manager retires early and is now back home in Central America. A key figure in all of this who conveniently will not be able to attend the labour board meeting.

I have no idea if those two things are related to my case and I may never truly know but it sure is convinient for me. I did leave that company in good standing with corporate so I’m left to believe that corporate has been taking serious action with my company. Action that may have also included updating workflow, security and logistics (costing the GM and management huge money), and cracking down on workplace safety issues (costing the GM and management even more money).

After covid arrived, my dislike of corporations only grew but I think it’s pretty humorous to watch corporate turn it’s back on my company. It’s beautiful in it’s own bureaucratic-hellscape kind of way.

My goal at the labour board meeting is going to get my job back and hopefully getting a public apology at the monthly employee meeting while sending a problematic manager to a training course regarding abusive behaviour. After being forced to confront my own mortality through their abusive and negligent behaviour, money means nothing to me. No amount will bring back the dignity this place took from me and the others who work there. I’m hoping my actions are able to throw some power back into the hands of the employees and other workers there as well as bring more awareness to mental health issues.

And to think, I probably wouldn’t have gone down this path if it weren’t for the head fairness committee member telling me that I should just suck it up. That I should just wait for all these problematic people to retire. He told me I couldn’t change anything. His attempt to de-escalate the situation by demotivating me may have backfired slightly.

Pretty decent, finally started my ADHD medication so I’m mostly waiting for that to start taking effect, it’ll probably take a good month or so which sucks because I am so fucking tired of waiting but I don’t have much other option.

Not too bad, actually!

It’s been a while since I’ve last said that, and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe I should appreciate the seemingly insignificant things more.

It’s summer here, and the sun has shown no mercy for a week now, but we’ve got A/C in the bedroom and living room so we can actually (mostly) enjoy the hot weather.
I’ve built a PC from spare parts and set it up in the shade next to the pool. This has been my office this week. I can watch the dogs wander around and sniff things and spend the work breaks scuba diving to depths of up to 150cm (5 feet).

Yesterday it dawned on me that this is probably as close as most people I know will ever get to “living the dream”. It’s awesome. And I’m feeling a bit guilty for having “made it” when so many of my friends haven’t (yet).
Has this really happened to me, of all people?

I’ve made a breakthrough at work to automate one piece of particularly stupid and repetitive work, and I can’t wait to get it through testing and discuss it with the person having to do that work.
The teenage kids have been mostly content and busy, so no unnecessary drama for a while. This alone is a massive improvement of our quality of life.

Now all SO and me need to do is find ways to better defend our free time against work and the kids, and we’re pretty much exactly where we’ve always wanted to be.
Oh, and sleep better.

It’s finally going to be cooler in my area this week, and it’s going to rain! I can finally study at my schools library without sweating like a pig and getting sunscreen in my eyes because of it.

My brother got COVID, and he infected me as well. Tuesday was a bit shit during the evening, Wednesday was totally shit, the whole day, and today it seems better, but it’s still shit nonetheless.

Well…the good news is I submitted my letter of resignation for my job, which I am thrilled about. I’ll have better pay and flexibility and work for a company that has more than adequate staffing and support.

The bad news is my boss is trying to do EVERYTHING she can to get me not to leave. I told her no 6 different ways to no avail. She doesn’t respect boundaries. My supervisor that left a year and a half ago said it took her three times to leave. I had a meeting with boss yesterday and felt so manipulated it was disgusting. I also have to give a month’s notice so it’s going to be a long 3 weeks. I’m hoping that once I sign a contract at my new job (hopefully tomorrow), that will get my boss to let it go.

Hanging in there. Thanks for asking.

Pretty standard here. My life never really changes. Leave the house once a week and spend the rest of the time watching movies and playing video games.

It’s been alright I guess. Though, I started catsitting for my old housemate today and she’s been overfeeding them to a crazy degree. I basically raised one of the cats, so it’s pretty upsetting.

Could be worthwhile giving @[email protected] a call if you know her in real life… It is a bit of a worry honestly based on her last post she hasn’t dropped by in 10 days (especially considering her last weekly update).

One of my loved ones is in hospital (in another town) so I’m really hoping they are okay.

I still feel really shy about posting here, but I’m trying to be more myself on the internet lately. Or in general.

I haven’t eaten in 2 days because of having my wisdom teeth out.

And I bought some red scrubs to use as pajamas; they’re incredibly comfy.