i got a scar tattooed over in 2021 and have several more scars i’d like to do the same with, i’m currently sitting here drinking and being under 6’, and also i don’t believe in heaven so i’m super fucked. who’s with me
Funny how we can’t go to heaven for all these “sins” and yet the Bible stars that Jesus died for all out sins before they happen.
Once again the Bible is proven as a joke. I hate how they believe the fairy tales in the book, but they won’t believe what is right in front of there eyes. Friggin bigots.
I pity them. The ones that actually believe that is.
If they could park their faith for just one minute and think clearly, they’d realise what’s up.
Their leaders that actually take their Lord’s name in vain? Predators. Grifters. Charlatans.
Don’t forget the pedophiles that work in the Catholic Church as priest they take a vow of celibacy so they think they can groom and rape the little boys.
And yet they think their going to heaven as they preach. Sick perverts. Like they said on that one episode of the Simpsons. God pointed out to homer that the clergy members aren’t allowed in heaven.
Jesus wept.
I’d actually forgotten about that for a blissful minute while writing that.
If heaven is full of Christians I’m choosing hell
I half remember a Harlan Ellison story where God decided that only man can judge man and put the religious leaders in power to get to determine who goes to heaven. So all the Screaming Mullahs and Pat Robertson types are running things. Harlan Ellison was an angry person.
As I always said, considering the requirements, heaven must be the most boring place to end up.
Good Omens had it right, they have all the musicians.
So, like, if I qualify for all, do I get a bonus extra fun hell?
The full list.
If you’re going anyway you don’t want to miss out on any of the fun.
deleted by creator
You go to the special hell. The one reserved for child molestors and people who talk at the theatre.
Randy Newman is fucked
Oh well, at least I get to hang with the cool crowd.
Tall untattooed vegetarian teetotalers won’t go to heaven either.
God: “we don’t need any manlets in heaven! Get your short ass out of here!”
“Short people and people who eat too much pork will also not go to heaven.” reminded me of this (SFW actually) Oglaf.
Looks like I’m in!
Tall people? Believe it or not, hell
Thought I got it working, oh well its just the guy from parks and rec who says “straight to jail”
Tapping doesn’t do it for me
Average height? Straight to hell.
Not sure what’s more stupid
Googling this
Or
Believing it
The list of people that can reach Heaven is very short, probably on purpose.
removed by mod
And I am the bad guy for yelling at someone for telling my daughters about hell. Yes, me the father. I am a bad person for telling someone to stop lying to my kids about a fake place of pain.
Telling or yelling?
Because yelling just makes you look bad.
Sorta both. It really pissed me off. Going up to my six year old and telling her if she is bad she will be thrown into fire. Sick deranged fucks in the world.
I’m on board with you man. Real or not, they threatened your kid. It is justified.
Thanks at least someone is. I do play nice with other parents. My eldest daughter had a playdate with a friend of hers that happens to be Muslim, so I ordered out from a hallal restaurant.
Don’t tell my kid about your lying bullshit and I won’t tell your kid that they aren’t going to see grandma in heaven.
If it has just been something boring like “Jesus lies you” I would have let it go.
“You must be this tall to enter heaven.” Written on a wood cutout of St Peter holding his hand out just so high.
