Ohh shit. They got me with drinking. I should have started using drugs when I had the chance.
At this point, it sounds like heaven will only be full of boring prudes. Hell is where the party is at.
Death metal and rains of blood I can get behind. Checkers and prayer, not so much.
If heaven is full of Christians I’m choosing hell
As I always said, considering the requirements, heaven must be the most boring place to end up.
Good Omens had it right, they have all the musicians.
I half remember a Harlan Ellison story where God decided that only man can judge man and put the religious leaders in power to get to determine who goes to heaven. So all the Screaming Mullahs and Pat Robertson types are running things. Harlan Ellison was an angry person.
Randy Newman is fucked
Tall people? Believe it or not, hell
Average height? Straight to hell.
Tapping doesn’t do it for me
Thought I got it working, oh well its just the guy from parks and rec who says “straight to jail”
God: “we don’t need any manlets in heaven! Get your short ass out of here!”
I’ve been seeing a lot of google search results snaps lately. Most if not all must be jokes, right? This one at least… Inb4 I’m not using google to check for myself…
It’s an ancient screenshot, so you wouldn’t be able to verify it anyway
Where’s the short cut-off?
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Lmao
And I am the bad guy for yelling at someone for telling my daughters about hell. Yes, me the father. I am a bad person for telling someone to stop lying to my kids about a fake place of pain.
Telling or yelling?
Because yelling just makes you look bad.
Sorta both. It really pissed me off. Going up to my six year old and telling her if she is bad she will be thrown into fire. Sick deranged fucks in the world.
I’m on board with you man. Real or not, they threatened your kid. It is justified.
Thanks at least someone is. I do play nice with other parents. My eldest daughter had a playdate with a friend of hers that happens to be Muslim, so I ordered out from a hallal restaurant.
Don’t tell my kid about your lying bullshit and I won’t tell your kid that they aren’t going to see grandma in heaven.
If it has just been something boring like “Jesus lies you” I would have let it go.
How short are we talking here? And when? Short is shorter now than it was 200 years ago. And what about even shorter people? Is only the shortest person going to hell? Do babies count? They’re pretty short. If life begins at conception, then are zygotes blacklisted? What if you’re tall but short on cash? What if you’re tall in the streets but short in the sheets?
They really need to clarify their rules and definitions.
i got a scar tattooed over in 2021 and have several more scars i’d like to do the same with, i’m currently sitting here drinking and being under 6’, and also i don’t believe in heaven so i’m super fucked. who’s with me
So, like, if I qualify for all, do I get a bonus extra fun hell?
The full list.
If you’re going anyway you don’t want to miss out on any of the fun.
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You go to the special hell. The one reserved for child molestors and people who talk at the theatre.
Not sure what’s more stupid
Googling this
Or
Believing it
So says the church of Google.
🙏
