I’m never the one that fucks up. It’s always the machine that is the problem.
Scan item, set in bag. Machine says “hey, you didn’t scan that!” the fuck I didn’t! You beeped! I see the fucking item in the list on your screen! 😬
My favorite was having multiples of an item, getting prompted to enter the quantity, and then having the machine yell at me for just placing them in the bagging area.
The fuck is the point then?
The best is when you buy fruit all vegetables and it decides that the Apple that you are buying doesn’t weigh the right amount.
One time I bought the largest potato you’ve ever seen in your life and it decided that it was too big and therefore could not possibly be a potato and must instead be some high value item I was stealing, although nonetheless scanning. But the problem is the alternative is to talk to people.
-dictated on an iPhone/iPad/Mac?
:)
Also
alternative is to
Be in the top 5% of customers the cashier had that day! (A little reframing for the next time self checkout is down, understand still not ideal)
scans one potato
Weighs as much as an entire bag of potatoes
“Thief! This guy’s over here tryna steal potatoes!”
You pay by weight, so I don’t really understand what its problem was.
Potatoes are cheap by weight. Machine saw a single item and didn’t believe it was a potato. Not that anything looks similar; it just flags it for staff to check.
I accidentally managed to rack up 36 large bottles of water. That amount wouldn’t even fit in my car.
Don’t be embarrassed, you’re keeping her in a job.
Good point. Great name I looooveee father ted!
Just happened to me today. I paid for everything but accidentally scanned the item again while packing. I think the cashier knows me by now
Self checkout screws itself especially if I do everythi g to perfection
This is me. As a clerk. Fucking up shit constantly. And saying. One minute. I need an override.
“UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!
…and it was me.” - Bill Bailey
You can’t weigh the vegetable at the checkout.
Every other store can do that.
We don’t have a scale in the checkout. You have to walk across the store while everyone is waiting for you because the checkout can’t be canceled to weigh the vegetable and put a sticker on it. It is not guaranteed that the sticker will be recognised at checkout.
Oh you have a deposit receipt? At checkout to get it done quickly? If you’re receiving money a clerk has to come over to approve.
You want out? No, the gate won’t open unless you have a receipt. Yeah, yeah, the code reader is, well, confused.
2 weeks later
Stupid customers. Did you see how someone accidentally shattered the gate?
May I ask which country? We never ever have self-checkout-issues at all. It’s a bliss I waited my whole life for. Reducing unnecessary social contacts 😁
Holy shit, better question is what country do you live in? Self checkout is problematic at best in Canada
Not who you asked but I live in Poland and our self-checkouts are pretty flawless in my opinion. Simple combination of scale, bardcode scanner and touch screen and voila. Most shops that have them, have at least four of them. Supermarkets often have 6-8 and dedicated employee to oversee them, sometimes with their own touch screen and ability to bypass age checks or weight problems from their stand without moving to you.
They only scream if you scan something age-restricted or if weight doesn’t match. The second problem was much bigger in beginning, nowadays it’s actually rare.
Edit: Oh, and we do have that scan-the-receipt to leave. Again, early on they were…less than flawless, but today they work ok. Heck, one supermarket got it installed only a year ago and damn that scanner is snappy af. Sometimes scans code before I manage to fully position it xD
I think it really depends on the store. In the UK I have to say that they’re generally pretty terrible, but the ones in M&S (a UK supermarket) are normally fine. Tesco’s has the worst ones, they are always complaining about something and there’s never enough cashiers to fix them. Plus of course occasionally they just decide to pick on you and rescan all your items.
IKEA ones are floorless though
Germany. Sadly not soooo many shops got them, but those that do, there it works. Best part is that it feels like 90% don’t use those (and weirdly prefer to stand in line for 25m. Like a good kraut!) so we save literally hours each month.
Northern Germany
Oh…Ruhrpott here, we really never ever encountered any problems in any shop so far. Except when they’re being broken completely and repairs take 5 years, like the usual amount of time.
Well, the positive interpretation of the place you live based on this story is that the people in the place you live are extremely polite and compliant lol.
The only issue I keep running into is that the sale price doesn’t match the scanned price. At this point they no longer verify me because I’m so on point with pricing. If it was a different price I wouldn’t have gotten it. It’s a game to me. Love seeing how low I can get my bill to get.
I shop just like you, and I’ve also got the attendants trained just to fix what I tell them is wrong. I love when the actual money spent is less than 50% of the total before discounts/coupons are applied.
I love using the phone based scan as you go systems these days. Sainsburys, asda and waitrose all have them, so much faster and easier.
I love not having all my purchasing and phone data tracked
You better not be using card payment then
There is a difference between a bank or your supermarket tracking you.
The supermarket can just as well track your card number across your purchases.
Umm… ok? That was always allowed…
There was a problem every single time I’ve tried to do a self-checkout so I just do a normal checkout because it’s not worth it.
Oops, accidentally forgot to scan an item 😏
Why not just start a new transaction?
The oligarchs pretend to pay me a fair wage so I pretend to pay for my stuff. Seems fair to me. 🤷♂️
I just calmly and smoothly switch to shop lifting at large chain stores (not local businesses) if selfcheckout starts wasting my time shrugs
If the self checkout spazzes put and needs me to get an assistant, that’s the last thing I scan at the checkout. Lady comes over, overrides the fail, I say thank you, pay for the stuff while she’s standing there, and put it back in the trolley with the stuff I didn’t scan yet. You see, I was so frazzled and confused by the disruption that I forgot I still had things to scan. Plausible deniability, I never hid anything, it was all out in the open, and the lady was just standing there. If she mentions it, then I can just resume scanning those items and pay for them too. This has not happened in several dozen grocery trips.
I just get so anxious and confused so easily!
I make it a point to steal a little something every time I’m forced to use these.
Big box hardware stores appear to have zero people to check you out anymore, so they all give me something every time I shop.
Pro tip: they won’t bother if you dont steal anything expensive. Additionally, there are cameras in the ceiling that are working with the register to see what is in the cart and determine if you have scanned everything. Buy a cardboard box (cheapest thing that works). Lay it over your cart. Put stuff under it and now the system cant see your cart to determine if you stole something. A GFCI outlet or two never seem to go noticed.
Just a warning - they might actually notice you doing it, and are waiting on you to steal a certain dollar amount (link shows thresholds for different US states) before they come after you so they can charge you with a felony.
A 1970’s law saying it’s a felony if people steal more than $199 (cumulatively) is insane. How many for-profit prisons are in New Jersey again…?
Steal
$799 (in CA, as far as I know)[Edit: its actually $949, $950 is felony] then wait out the statute of limitations, and repeat 😎So don’t go over $500 in any state but New Jersey. Cool!
I usually bring a festive sombrero to block the cameras.
Hit on them! You never know <3
I feel called out, you even got an image of me.
Weird that this isn’t even the worst thing to come out of Florida.
