LAKELAND, FL—In what the evangelical congregation hailed as a significant step forward for its security capabilities, local megachurch Lakeland Liberty Fellowship confirmed Tuesday it had conducted a successful test of a nuclear missile. “Today’s detonation of a 50-kiloton thermonuclear device should serve as a…
God: Makes everyone keep waiting for Armageddon.
American Evangelicals: I’ll do it myself.
I’ll make my own Armageddon, which blackjack, and hookers!
I mean, that’s quite literally happening, more or less. Check out the documentary Praying for Armageddon if you can find it.
When they switch over from “God works in mysterious ways” to “God works through us”