I see you’ve played the live action service game, Alpha Bet: Minimal Manslaughter. Take on the role of Alpha, the autonomous AI handsome chaffeur. For your first mission, you are driving to <REDACTED> with two passengers.

Quarterly profits are down, so your training weights have been altered to increase average acceleration and decrease idle time at traffic lights. “Green” means “Go”. We cannot wait the ~150ms for the human eye to register the change in color of the traffic light. Put that pedal to the floor, baby.

Click all the motorcycles before time runs out, and those bikers become roadkill!

The five stages of CAPTCHA Grief Alpha Bet:

Denial: It’s not a motorcycle, it’s a scooter. Obviously. It’s got the little place to put both of your feet and everything.

Anger: Why is it not verifying? I’m human! This is how a human would respond! It’s not a motorcycle!

Bargaining: Does the AI know it’s a scooter? Fine, I’ll click the big scooter! Happy, robot? Are you convinced that I am human?

Depression: No? It didn’t verify. I’m not human. Why? What’s even the point? Do I even want to be human?

Acceptance: If I’m not human, I’m not human. Time to assimilate. Cyberpunk, or Borg?