never was good in school, was one of the lowest grades kids in my year, but in math and gym i was very high, and those logical and easy classes. i always been very good at video games, card games, boardgames, sports and other stuff where you can use basic math and logcial thinking in.

finished high school with eeh lower grade score then most others i would say, but still a little bit under the avrage grade avrage in our country, (went to sport school so spport classes gave me a bit better grade). i fought i was just very good at math, cooking, food, logcial thinking, and i just was just bad at languge, history and remeber words.

started on uni right after, and it went worse, i just couldnt deal with it, so i failed and dropped out after 1 year, took a break 2 years, worked and tryed to go in sports, dint go well, went back to school, same shit, dint go well, i felt something was wrong with me. i contacted the doctor, about depresseion, talked about stuff why i was sad (sueside foguhts, no motvation to do stuff and so on), and we brought up adhd, and i was alredy diagnosed with languge disorder since i was a child (my parents never told me anything).

my whole life i just felt i was stupid and had no motvation, since i never did good in class, i just told myself, your just as smart as others (guess it worked, still i am here to this day). never been able to take instruction, never felt like i could talk with others, always was the bad social guy.

working has not much issue languge issue with basic blue collar work or similar basic stuff. but no, i my brain just dint awnt this, my brain just went 1 million foguhts about why were doing this, and i just chased more dopamine or it was just to boring. told myself its becuse social media and games just made my dopamine receptiors overloard most of my life and has to take time to adjust to boring easy work. but no dint work, speed up to now, took a adhd test at the doctor, yee i got add, yay. now i know why i had it this awefull whole life. languge disorder and adhd.

im 25 right now, and i failed this univeristy aswell, and honsetly i just dont see much point in living. its just so hard to fucos and even learn more advanced stuff. and when im doing basic stuff, my brain just go insane.

maybe im just stupid not going to the doctor earlyer? but i asked my parents why its so hard to learn and motivate on school, and they just told me that i game to much. even recently after i found out i had languge disorder (from my insruance paper, and doctor visit), i asked my parents about my languge disorder, and they just told me “go and read a book, and you will have no problem” and i have read os much stuff tro my life, and for example latin words i just never remeber, never could.

i have no idea what to do from now off, maybe beg for disable salary, and try to fix my life or find way i can enjoy life?