MAGA’s gonna party like it’s 2020!

    • @[email protected]
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      1021 days ago

      I want one so bad, but I can’t get the husband on board. I have considered just buying it and installing it myself via the “do it anyways and ask for forgiveness” method, but dunno if butt spray is a battle I’m willing to choose yet. I just want to convince him it’s a good idea.

      • Sheridan
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        1821 days ago

        They’re very easy to install. It’s almost as easy as installing a shower head.

        There are also compact battery powered portable handheld bidets that work about as well as the real thing. I have one I take with me on trips.

        • @[email protected]
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          1621 days ago

          I have a portable one too and it’s not exactly what I’d call discreet but sure gets the job done. Honestly can’t recommend it for travel though because in spite of the “portable” label, it’s terribly bulky and causes me no end of grief when trying to take it on an airplane. Your experience may be different, here’s the one I’ve got.

          • socsa
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            321 days ago

            Ah yes, the old “two person” bidet. Truly the sign of a committed relationship.

          • @[email protected]
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            521 days ago

            This is what I use at work:

            https://a.co/d/clAv3hV

            It’s just a cap that you can put on almost any soda bottle or water bottle.

            I keep an old 20 oz soda bottle in my office to use with it.

            Great for travel and very discreet.

            • @[email protected]
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              220 days ago

              I travel with one of these. It’s much better than not having one, but the one bolted to my toilet works much better

            • @[email protected]
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              220 days ago

              Thanks for the recommendation, not sure it’s exactly what I’m looking for but I appreciate it all the same. Looks to be missing some key features (such as the carrying strap) that I’ve grown accustomed to.

        • PNW clouds
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          221 days ago

          The portable one is my rec too. I have a rechargeable one. I refill it with warm or cool water depending on my preference and then bippity boppity.

          I like it because it’s also easier to aim and control.

          If I was going to get one to hook to the toilet, I’d get the type that’s like a kitchen sprayer attached to hose.

      • @[email protected]
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        721 days ago

        They’re not mandatory if they’re attached. It’s not gonna jump out and douse your butt without you asking.

      • @[email protected]
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        721 days ago

        Assuming your financial decision making for a purchase of that magnitude isn’t at the “we need to make this decision together” threshold: do it.

        He doesn’t HAVE to use it just because you bought/installed it.

        • @[email protected]
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          321 days ago

          Yeah, I can get one on Amazon right now for less than $50, so I can definitely afford it with my own spending money. I really should just do it.

      • @[email protected]
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        220 days ago

        Get one with a heated seat and he’ll forgive you even if he doesn’t come around to the butt spray. Heated seats are something I never knew I needed and now that I have it I can never go back. I cringe whenever I’m at a friend’s house and I need to sit on their cold toilet seat.

        • ursus arctos
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          220 days ago

          Weirdo here: I hate warm toilet seats. When I sit on a warm seat all I can think about is the hairy, pimpled 400lb ass of the Iowa-bred long haul trucker named Rooster who just finished up his hour-long battle with the consequences of eating a 32 oz bag of beef jerky in one sitting, and is about to go troll for some lot lizard tail.

          Doesn’t matter if it’s in my own home, warm seat = Rooster’s ass.

          I like my toilet seat like I like my pillowcase - Ice fucking cold.

      • Ghostalmedia
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        4621 days ago

        Buy them now while you can leverage remaining on shore inventory.

        Also, get your car maintenance done now.

    • @[email protected]
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      621 days ago

      Having just spent 2 weeks in japan, I’m not looking forward to my first poop at home. Am going to be looking at cost of upgrading.

      • @[email protected]
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        321 days ago

        Dude, trust me… that booty will love you. I never liked it, until my wife got me in to it. I feel fresher than ever.

      • ngdev
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        421 days ago

        just get one that fits under your toilet seat they’re like 40 bucks and take 5 mins to install

        • @[email protected]
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          221 days ago

          Feh, you vastly underestimate how crap I am at plumbing.

          Like the comic relief janitor of old, I have a gift for picking up every wrong part before I find the one I need.

          • @[email protected]
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            921 days ago

            They’re thumb nuts, you don’t even need tools. There are pictures. It’s really easy.

          • @[email protected]
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            321 days ago

            If you’re that unsure of your abilities, spend a bit more and get one of the replace the whole seat kind of bidets. Literally All I had to do was disconnect the waterline, install the t-junction, then reconnect the waterline. Plug the provided hose into both items, install with some thumb screws and enjoy your wet butthole.

          • @[email protected]
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            121 days ago

            The problem with bidets is that they require electricity and often there isnt any available next to the toilet. So you have to burn your house down and start over from scratch.

            • @[email protected]
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              420 days ago

              What kind of fancy bidets are you using?? I’ve never used one that requires electricity, and I’ve spent months in Italy, all over the country.