I know this sub isn’t very active, but I don’t have accounts anywhere else, so here goes . . .

I don’t want to get into details right now, but my wife has made me promise to divorce her if I ever drink again . . . my heart is broken for the pain I have caused her to get us to this point.

I feel so stupid that this isn’t the first time I’ve been here, either. I feel so stupid saying “this time it’s for real,” because we all know what to expect when an alcoholic says that :(

In terms of quantity, I’ve actually been drinking much less the past few years, but I think the infrequency might even be making my “mistakes” even worse when they happen :( So I don’t have the excuse of infrequency. I can truly never drink again, and I’m so afraid I’m going to mess it up. I have CPTSD with terrible emotional flashbacks, and I’m afraid I’ll lose control during one of them and ruin my marriage once and for all :(

So this is me, I’m here to join the stopdrinking community. Any encouragement, stories or advice you can give would be most welcome. Thank you.

Edit: Wow, thank you for the outpouring of support! I can’t reply to all of your comments, but know that I’ve read and treasure them!

  • @[email protected]English
    2•3 months ago

    Posting here is a big deal, and likely your first step to real change. Keep checking in. I have found what works best for me is saying that I’ve retired from drinking. It truly was a second job (sometimes first…) and now I’m retired. Been there, done that.

    Your wife is on her own journey coping with this and will likely not recognize your progress as quickly as you’d like. Give her grace. Give yourself grace. We’re all rooting for you!