A new study finds loneliness generally increases with age, but middle-aged people in the US report feeling lonelier than other age groups.

A new study found middle-aged Americans demonstrated higher levels of loneliness than older adults.

  • @[email protected]English
    22•3 days ago

    Aside from the pandemic showing that half the planet are selfish assholes, I actualy miss being social. Thinking back on my childhood in the 80’s and 90’s my family could afford to be social. Going out to dinner with other couples, going to events, purchasing the nesessary items to be social like golf clubs, boats, grills, etc. There wasn’t this constant anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck as today. I make more than my parents combined and yet after cost of surviving i am sitting on $5 for two weeks as my expendable cash. At that point I have no desire to go out with people as even the gas to get to them would need to be budgeted.

    With money being tight I have found that i was always bowing down to work for fear of being replaced. I worked longer hours than I should have because I’ve always been trying to catch up financialy. Now that I’m in my 40’s I’ve just accepted that I will never have that moment where I reach that plateau and I can take a breath. I will spend the rest of my life tredding water just keeping my head above it. And I wish it was the avocado toast argument boomers give but there is no personal expenses in my life. mortgage (ik I’m lucky), food, utilities, school loans, clothes for the kids and that it. My entertainment comes from the library or is pirated.

    After having this daily stressor constantly pinging in my head I just don’t have the mental capacity to deal with people. My partner is more stess than benefit. There really isn’t any human interaction I have that is fulfilling anymore. I’m honesty just running on autopilot at this point.

    • @[email protected]English
      1•2 days ago

      I don’t know how old your kids are but it gets easier. You’re probably in that survival mode right now. Little time for anything but keeping the family alive. There’s research showing that age 50 is on average the least happy time, with things getting much better from there. Kids eventually move out or at least become self-sufficient. You’ll have more time for date nights and working on your relationship. With fewer costs there will be less financial stress so you can find a better job (either one with less stress or more money or both). Inflation will eat away at your mortgage over time and eventually you’ll be like “it’s only $300k now?? That’s nothing!”

      Don’t be afraid of making some big changes if necessary. If your job isn’t paying you enough to survive where you live, consider moving somewhere with a lower cost of living. The wage is much less important than the ratio of that wage to living costs. There are lots of places with cheap houses where you might be able to live mortgage free, depending on your current equity.

      I’m sure it goes without saying, but do your very best to prioritise your health. Sleep eight hours. Exercise a few times a week (even a brisk walk). Limit alcohol. Take a multivitamin. Reduce sugar and carbs. Etc. You will feel much more mentally resilient. It’s hard though, where you are, I know.

      Best of us! You’re in the hardest phase. It gets easier from here.

    • @[email protected]English
      5•3 days ago

      I absolutely agree. Although my parents weren’t that well off, they made it work with the little they had and gave me the best that they could. It included a lot of what you stated, just not the golf clubs or boats. We did a lot and I made a lot of friends through the years and it was very fun. I even had a blast when I got out of school and found some financial freedom to do a lot for a bit. As I got older things started getting tighter and at this point I feel the same as you do. I can’t afford anything and I’m stuck where I am. I feel bad since I have 2 kids and feel like I do them a disservice not being able to give them what I had.