“This isn’t your latte-sipping liberal twig boy coffee. This is an anti WOKE blend grown and harvested in non-free trade prison plantations using pesticides banned by the Geneva convention and common human decency for that delicious taste of freedom. These beans are carefully grown by kidnapped indigenous children under gunpoint of the watchful eye of the revolutionary guerilla army deep in the jungles of Bolivia. Artisanal roasters working for just 20 cents a day create a flavor profile that’s more bitter than the pain of their existence. Try 1775 today and show those libs that you’re not just a piece of shit with poor taste, you’re a Trump-loving conservative. For a limited time for every bag you purchase, we’ll donate 25 cents to the Israeli Defense fund Bombs for Kids. Order now!”
“This isn’t your latte-sipping liberal twig boy coffee. This is an anti WOKE blend grown and harvested in non-free trade prison plantations using pesticides banned by the Geneva convention and common human decency for that delicious taste of freedom. These beans are carefully grown by kidnapped indigenous children under gunpoint of the watchful eye of the revolutionary guerilla army deep in the jungles of Bolivia. Artisanal roasters working for just 20 cents a day create a flavor profile that’s more bitter than the pain of their existence. Try 1775 today and show those libs that you’re not just a piece of shit with poor taste, you’re a Trump-loving conservative. For a limited time for every bag you purchase, we’ll donate 25 cents to the Israeli Defense fund Bombs for Kids. Order now!”
Add me something about a Nazi scientist that fled dub dub 2 and has been experimenting with said children and we’re in biznus.
Put it in that ridiculous T-shirt font and grift away
That is amazing and so well done! If you aren’t already some sort of writer, you should give it a go. I’d read your articles.
Thanks, I just read a lot and write up whenever the inspiration strikes. This time it happened when I was groggy after sleeping like 5 hours lol.