Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I’m already obsessed. I haven’t had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it’s just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
I’d say the most important bit is to get comfortable with using CLI, not learning all it’s ins and outs, but figuring out how to sudo, how to paste a command into the CLI, and how to search for what you’re trying to do.
ZSH + Oh My Zsh, CTRL + R (for search), accidentally running a fork bomb, removing the French language pack - only good tines with the CLI
Eh, French language pack removal is an essential linux skill.