Alternatively:

• Spork
• The little one with two prongs
• No the other little one with two prongs
• The one with 3 prongs
• The wibbledy one
• The one that looks like a staple puller
• The bbq fork/turkey carving one
• The normal fork
• The normal but 3 prongs fork
• The other normal fork
• The smaller normal but 3 prongs fork
• The tiny stabby one
• That weird little one where the tips hate each other