• Cummunism [they/them, he/him]English
    11•2 years ago

    it’s not, but as someone who wasn’t that far off from you, it sounds like the social anxiety i had for a while, so it might be good to find out why. Might learn something about yourself. But it can just be luck too, or geography. Honestly if OKCupid hadnt existed i’d probably still have only had sex about 4 times.

  • M68040 [they/them]English
    10•2 years ago

    Nah, similar boat. Having people around - particularly in any intimate capacity - makes me excessively self-conscious.

  • Infamousblt [any]English
    12•2 years ago

    No. Just be who you are, genuinely, and interact in spaces where people accept you for who you genuinely are. Beyond that it’ll happen. That’s it basically. That’s easier said than done but that’s the trick. Be you in spaces that are comfortable for you and comfortable with you.

  • kristina [she/her]English
    30•2 years ago

    nah, sex is just ok tbh, even when i have sex with my sex god it isnt like, life changing. healthy relationships have plenty of solo time. if you feel pressured to have sex, remember that that is society being very creepy.

    cuddles are better comfy

  • cynesthesia [any]English
    35•2 years ago

    No, just stick around here and don’t fall into the misogynist incel crowd. You wouldn’t be posting about it if you were 100% ok with it. Be aware that some of your negative feelings about it are the kind of thing that some people will try to curdle and turn into more negativity.

  • ElGosso [he/him]English
    90•2 years ago

    When I lost my virginity I realized that actually I was pathetic for other reasons the whole time emilie-shrug

  • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]English
    24•2 years ago

    Nah, shit happens when it happens. It’s bad for your mental health to pin your worth to something that requires another person’s participation, because you wind up getting down on yourself for other people’s actions that you can’t control. Instead, if it’s important to you that you try, then continuing to try should be the goal.

  • UlyssesT [he/him]English
    27•2 years ago

    When I lost my virginity, the first and most powerful epiphany from that experience, right after the afterglow wore off, was the following:

    “All right, now what?”

    It feels like a big deal until you have sex. Then it’s just a lot of pent up expectations and frustration left behind and you just continue with what you were already doing.

    Don’t let anyone bully you into feeling “pathetic” or whatever because of their own preoccupation with a score card.

    Look at “RooshV.” He’s BAAANGED (in most cases, coercively or violently) scores of women and he’s a pathetic loser that no one, not even nazis, wants to hang out with.