• FourteenEyes [he/him]English
    19•2 years ago

    Don’t get too hung up on it but don’t go advertising it either. The right person won’t care anyway, and will make you feel comfortable enough that you can be honest.

  • ihatebirdsEnglish
    23•2 years ago

    AMAB and also late 20s bloomer - no, not at all. My first time only solidified my suspicion that I was probably ace, but even so I empathize with the anxiety and self-esteem issues that come with the territory. Not feeling wanted or desired feels bad, and I wouldn’t look down on that (unless it’s accompanied by reactionary baggage).

  • Cummunism [they/them, he/him]English
    11•2 years ago

    it’s not, but as someone who wasn’t that far off from you, it sounds like the social anxiety i had for a while, so it might be good to find out why. Might learn something about yourself. But it can just be luck too, or geography. Honestly if OKCupid hadnt existed i’d probably still have only had sex about 4 times.

  • M68040 [they/them]English
    10•2 years ago

    Nah, similar boat. Having people around - particularly in any intimate capacity - makes me excessively self-conscious.

  • sicklemode [they/them]English
    5•2 years ago

    No. Honestly, it makes you wonder if this trend of shaming those who have not engaged in intercourse is a ploy to serve the interest of getting working class people trapped in parenthood they didn’t want and can’t afford.

    An obvious side effect of this is being less willing to engage in praxis and take risks, because now you have more to lose. It can, in many cases, serve to de-radicalize leftists.

  • forcequit [she/her]English
    24•2 years ago

    Sex is kinda overrated, or at least put on this stupid pedestal above other things. Easy to say if you’ve had sex though I suppose?

    It’s far from pathetic to have not had sex though tbh. Equally, don’t place too much/any value in virginity or abstinence either, but like, ehh?

    tldr no it’s not pathetic, but worrying too much over it might be at a certain point

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]English
      8•2 years ago

      I would say it’s not so much overrated as it is that most people don’t read theory and don’t spend enough time practicing to develop mastery. Sex is like any other skill - you need lots of practice and experimentation to get really good at it. You’ve got to read theory and keep up with the current literature. You’ve got to consult with experts who are bringing forth new innovations.

      In my experience most people are just kind of there and have never really put any thought in to getting good at sex, and that leads to a lot of mediocre sex.