On the whole, the week is starting out kinda balanced. One of our rabbits, a buck I renamed “Aroo Banzai” when we got him at seven years old (his old name was just “Buck”) passed away at the ripe age of 11. He’s off continuing his adventures through the eighth dimension now, and it’s the first time a member of our farm has passed on and I’ve been at peace with it.

This Friday marks my sixth anniversary with my wife, and the first Friday the 13th since our wedding. For the record, the processional was an orchestral rendition of Vampire Killer and the centerpiece for our table was that scene from Night of the Living Dead when the woman in the white dress crests the hill before the rest of the horde arrives. To keep up appearances, the centerpieces for our parents’ tables was the carpet pattern from The Overlook, rather than the undead. Her Cousin is getting married this Saturday, the 14th, because his fiancée didn’t want the bad juju from the thirteenth, and when I heard that I laughed because our venue wouldn’t let us smash a mirror or have everyone walk under a ladder to get in 🤷.

It’s looking like my best friend might not be able to make the trip out to see us this year; I traveled out to California two years ago to see him and we had started to make plans for him to come out to Maine but work and life seems determined to get in the way. I’m still hopeful it will happen this year, but it’s a little disappointing that there seems to be a pattern that our friends are only able to visit during periods when the farm is not at full vibrancy.

Here is an interesting take on geopolitics - apparently gpt doesn’t like to joke about hamas being hummus any more, because it’s a sensitivity issue to openai. This situation reminds me of that computer from demolition man that fines people for swearing, in the future. Really hope that’s not where we are heading, or where we are.

Planned surgery happened this week. Unlike the last time where they blew two IVs (currently wait listed end of October for this). Was supposed to be only one night stay but the doctor kept me a second night due to an overabundance of caution. Currently waiting for them to come check on me in the morning and hopefully finally let me go. I’m off pain meds, been walking, passing gas, and bleeding has pretty much entirely stopped. I can’t think of any reason they’d keep me here but hoping to leave soon so I can actually get some rest.

i’m a Jew. tonight i am finally able to cry.

I am legally a woman now. There is no way to tell otherwise using social security infos etc.

I’ve been waiting to have my first blood test where my levels would be compared to those of women (you know for any actual relevancy in the comparison)

Yet the manager of the closest lab - whom I have known for years - deemed necessary to ask their IT to be able to override the civility and gender. And she felt forced for some reason to keep my birth sex even though it doesn’t appear anywhere.

What gets me the most is that she thought she was being benevolent when she was never asked to do that.

I regret accepting this situation and proceeding with the blood test. I should have gone elsewhere.

This monday i have experienced my first earthquake so that was exiting for me and my cats they was on top shelf i dont know if they felt somehow something is comming although they go on that shelf offten but rarely together. Luckily no one was injured but there was some damage on buildings near epicenter i heard. In central europe it is very rare so buildings are not very optimized for this and this was strongest since 1930. As for other things in life i think i am fine mentally and financially and i am looking forward for when parts for my electronic project arrive. I am making lightswitches but with keyboard mechanical switches btw. I didnt want to post here anything so it will not look like i am flexing that nothing horrible happend in my circle thankfully but on the other hand this thread is going really dark so i hope i will bring some light to it.

I’m okay. I’m trying to avoid the news cycle, for obvious reasons, which overall has probably been a net positive for me. I’m planning on switching to a new (to me) NAS this weekend, and I’ll probably also be getting PiHole set up. The latter is going to be done on a Raspberry Pi 1B+, so that should be fairly interesting. There’s a case printing for it at my local computer shop as we speak!

Edit: apparently it’s actually a regular Pi B 512MB so now I have to print another, less fancy case 😭

This place no longer feels safe for me.

i am just alright just angry at fascists in general

Am into my second week of regular gym workouts. Have also added in some extra workouts and am feeling a bit sore/stiff.

Bear in mind the last time I did serious exercise/gym time was when I was in the army - and I left that in 1997!

No weight loss showing yet.

I know it’s going to be hard work but at 66 years old and being far too heavy, I really need to put in some effort. Alcohol intake is right down and I’m almost vegan and usually eat healthy.

And I actually look forward to it!

I’m so depressed. I’m so sick of being disabled and useless and unable to work or make any money when everything costs money just to exist even without any quality of life. Everything is getting more expensive. Rent has gone up, the insurance they now require is more costly, the bank fucked up the auto payment so we had to pay late fees, the electricity bill is ridiculous (we’re not the only one in these apartments whose electricity bill is suddenly ridiculous) and we’re already late paying it and only have a few days left before we get shut off and violate our lease, local utility help can’t help us because they either don’t have any funds or we already used them in the past year, and I have NO idea how we’re gonna come up with the rest of the 300 something fucking dollars as mom and I are both disabled and her son is a mooching piece of shit who doesn’t contribute a lick despite not being disabled whatsoever. But he’s mommy’s little baby boy, so he gets to do what he wants. God I’m so sick of this. I feel like I need a rich fairy god mother to wave a magic wand and solve all my problems. I’m in so much pain I haven’t slept for two days. I’m sick of this.

I know other people have it a lot worse than me, though… I shouldn’t be bitching, but I’m a weak and whiny little idiot of a useless weenie. Bleh. Why do I have to exist when I’ve never wanted to my whole life? It’s not fair.

Finally got my Ritalin xr prescription refilled after 2 weeks of waiting for my pharmacy and finally calling them only to be told that they canceled the refill because they couldn’t source the ingredients.

… without telling me …

Ended up having the script called in to Costco who filled it that day. Love that place.

Taking OpenShift training from RedHat. On day 4 of 4 and only today do they go into using OpenShift after 3 days of reasoning how to use docker/podman which is already what I do all day anyway.

aaaggghhh

Otherwise, doing well!

This week our chickens started laying. first chickens we’ve ever had so that is pretty exciting.

Also getting cold in Wisconsin now. Had a slight frost the night before so all of the tomatoes, peppers, etc we grow are done for the year.

However, the basil in prepping for basement hydroponics finally got their roots popping through so it’s almost time.

Also, the microgreens I’m growing are 3 days away from harvest. The previous batch were delicious.

Aaaaand I’ve decided to try my hand at brewing beer. Going to pick up supplies this weekend.

The kombucha and water kefir I’ve been doing have been great throughout the spring and summer.

The world is insane. A friend of mine died of cancer. And I’ve had some kind of flu/cold for a week.

On the bright side, I finished my Becky Chambers’ books, fixed the extruder on my 3D printer and made the last plum pie of the season. I so wish this was the kind of daily life all human beings enjoy.

chuck (foster dog) is recovering well from his rear left limb amputation. took him to the vet to get his stitches out, but they’re not quite healed, so we have another appointment next week. he was cleared for a bath, so we’re heading out to do that now!

i had my teeth cleaned today and remembered to bring my headphones. spent a majority of my appointment listening to an audiobook, which made the appointment both quicker and less stressful. 😀

General election day in Aotearoa. High chance of a right wing government that has made cutting my disability funding into one of its election promises.

With everything that’s happening in the world it feels stupid to even be upset about it, but I am.

Edit: and the result is in, we now have the most right-wing government we had in years, so worse poverty is on the cards now.