Starting to feel crushed by the weight of the world, riddled with guilt and disappointment in myself over my choices. Nothing I can do about the past though.
What are some of the ways you guys get yourselves out of a bad headspace?
In hard times I usually retreat to some very technical meditation practice.
Prior to my health and endurance being absolutely wrecked in the past year, I used to run. Ran as hard as I could through the fields near where I lived until my legs would die, all in the chase for that runner’s high; but when it did hit, it was good. Nowadays I can’t run as much, so I’m still trying to find new outlets, one of which has been messing with my selfhosted setup, another being writing paragraphs on lemmy lol.
Also, certain video game soundtracks evoke feelings of catharsis and calm for me, so there’s also that.
Stereotypical answer but I like to lift weights. Really any outlet that requires 100% mental focus is what helps me most.When I lift weights there is just me and the weight.No bad thoughts. You can’t lift bad thoughts.
I take stock.
What are my personal positive achievements?
Where am I right now, is it a good place?
It doesn’t have to be my final destination, but is it good?
If I strip away all the fringe and lingering bullshit, am I safe and happy in this specific point in time?
Like right now: I am on the couch drinking coffee on a Saturday morning. I have three dogs with me. I am safe and I am loved.
What happens tomorrow is future zombie_kong’s problem. Not todays.
Edit: you got this. It’s nothing. A mere blip in this adventure we call living.
Another thing that I like is considering not what I can do to “change my life in a year” but “what can I do tomorrow to improve my life even a little bit right now?”
Instead of getting caught up on larger things that might take years to achieve, if I consider something I can change right now that will make tomorrow a better day, those changes will add up much more quickly and noticeably.
Even if I can’t think of something, that’s fine. I can accept that, and just move on to the next day. The important thing is to ask myself this every day, so that I can give myself the option of making that change and having that reflection.
I like that.
Life can be overwhelming. Small adjustments can go a long way.
Bubblebath. Whatever the problem, bubblebath.
Although if you’re in the US I think a lot of you have weirdly small baths over there so might not be quite as great an option. ymmv.
exercise something fierce, whatever works best for you be it running, lifting, cycling, swimming, doesn’t matter. It’s free brain chemicals!
I can relate! The best antidepressant for me is immersion in my hobby of open source software and computing. I also enjoy learning for its pure sake.
I get myself a nice little treat and take a break. I treat myself like someone else who I’d try to cheer up
But honestly - sounds like you need a lot more than that if you are feeling all tangled up. It’s helpful to unwind it all. With friends, with a therapist, even just talking to a stranger on the bus (or the internet)
Sometimes, I’ll treat myself to some ice cream. Just thought you should know.
I don’t want to trama dump on you but you’re right. What’s wrong with me doesn’t have a simple solution and it only ever ends one way.
Tune out the things you don’t have control over, lets yourself recover, enjoy some of your hobbies, and ehen you’re ready, ease back in.
Usually I can logic my way out of feeling bad, but I just feel so crushed rn over something objectively stupid. Like i feel a literal weight on my chest.
I can relate to this. I’m a big problem solver-y kind of person and that means I’m very good at logicking my way out of feeling bad, like you are. It gets tricky when it’s something you can’t fix that way though. Personally, I found that I had become so reliant on my problem solving skills that I had a poor ability to cope emotionally when it was just a shit situation I couldn’t do anything to fix.
For me, one of the steps towards coping better with that kind of stuff is stopping trying to logic through something if that approach wasn’t working. Don’t beat yourself up about “irrational” upsets. Feelings don’t care about the facts and even if your feelings are irrational, it doesn’t help to be exasperated at this. That can often strengthen them.
Once you’ve accepted that you feel shitty and it’s valid and okay to feel like that and not have a way to fix things, the next step might be taking time away from the stressful thing, or giving yourself some random treat completely separate from the sad thing, or venting, perhaps to a friend, or even a journal. What helps you will depend on you and your particular situation, but step 1 is to let yourself feel that weight on your chest. How much something hurts isn’t based on any objective standard, your struggles’ validity don’t depend on rationalising the thing that upsets you.
Things suck right now for you, but it’s okay to not be okay.
That is rough. I have been there, usually time heals. Try to keep your head up.
You know that meme with a guy celebrating what looks like a win but isn’t. That’s what I do. Because I must find myself awesome.
I ROCK!
“You don’t have to do today again.”
I walk. Short or long walks. Whatever I have time for. Even if I don’t really feel like walking. I find I almost never regret the decision to go. And I almost always return in a better mental state.
I sit and feel horrible about myself, mentally punishing myself for all of the mistakes. About an hour or two later, my mind gives up, and I become pragmatic.
Take a walk in the forest and then go to a sauna.
What I typically do is listen to some music. I have a collection of soundtracks from some of my favorite video games. I pick a couple of pieces from the whole collection and let the music lead me through my memories. It’s not too far off from the feeling of going through an old photo album. I imagine one could get a similar effect by returning to any number of things that they used to enjoy.
Listening to music helps me too. Recently I noticed that “sad” music seems to work especially well - something slow, not too intrusive, like Wolfsheim, Deine Lakaien, Anne Clark, … While I listen it allows me to actually experience my emotions, and when I eventually turn off this music it also helps me to “snap out of it” and focus on the next steps in my life (which may just be cleaning the dishes or going for a run).
