I reach out to my husband, who is super awesome and usually can help me put my problems either into perspective or out of my mind. I’m usually good at changing my mental channel, but sometimes I struggle and I’m grateful that he knows how to help.
When I’m not at my breaking point but am having a crappy day, I reach out to my dog. She’s not very cuddly and she’s dumb as a box of hair. She’ll sniff my face (focusing on the eyeballs, god knows why) and then turn away and cold shoulder me. But if I try to get up and walk away she’ll follow me like velcro. It cheers me up in a bizarre way :)
You’re very lucky to have him. Upvoted
I’m the luckiest! He’s a wonderful man.
Nobody. I have to live in such a way that I don’t reach that point… including reaching out to others well before the breaking point.
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I don’t think that is what they said. They reach out before hitting the breaking point which is a very mature thing to do ^^
This is definitely a thing I’m working on
Slow down, cousin. You’ve misread. Nobody here is arguing for suppressing emotions. What I’m saying is, I don’t have a support structure that’s reliable in crisis. The answer to that is reaching out to my unreliable support structure well in advance, to get the support I need when issues first arise. I can’t afford to bottle, because as you said, bottles explode, and I can’t survive that. Feelings gotta be processed as soon as possible, just in case the first attempt, or the second, or the third, don’t pan out.
I thought you were being pretty clear, but maybe because it reminds me of how I’m working through my own stuff. I used to suppress a lot of my emotions, thoughts, and feelings and just say whatever.
Now I find it better to focus my time trying to talk to and help people. The intrusive thoughts come less than they used to. I notice a difference when they start coming on stronger and I make better choices instead of living in a bottle. I’ve been focusing on my health: exercise, nutrition, and sleep are 3 great pillars to build on.
No one. Tired of having people turn their back or outright slapping my hands away. Even had two therapists forget about me, which was fucking fabulous when I’d just been assessed by the crisis team as high risk for suicide.
Just want someone to relax and play games with, the ask for company has never been a high bar. Easier to have a circle of friends that is empty than be continually forgotten or excluded.
My therapist, provided I reach the breaking point at a convenient time when we have a session scheduled.
Spouse or best friend, depending on the situation. (If my spouse is driving me up a wall, best friend it is!) Larger friend group of it’s something less personal or that I want advice or help from multiple people for. It’s taken me a long time, and a lot of personal healing and growth, to get to this point in my life where I have so many people I can rely on. It’s really nice.
You op, can we all reach out to you?
If you’re offering help: Much appreciated, but I’m pretty stable lately. I was just wondering who I would reach out to in a major crisis and who you folks rely on.
He means if he can reach out to you if he needs help
Oh okay! Sure you can, but I doubt I could be of much help I’m afraid. But I would try to!
Nobody. I just keep it to myself and keep doing what I’m doing. Nobody cares how dudes in their 30s feel unless you’re paying them to care.
This is such an honest and sad statement that I wish was wrong, but isn’t. Whenever I try to open up to another guy, even some of my best friends, they just can’t relate, or make me feel understood, I should say. Talking about depressions and anxiety with another dude feels like chatting about mathematical equations instead of being there for one another. It hurts, but I can’t change it.
Exactly. Very well put. This is exactly how real life is for us
My brother (in his 30s) calls me up when he needs support, and I do genuinely care. I’m sorry you don’t have someone. That must be terrible. 😔
I’ve never done it – but if I did reach out while at a breaking point, the priority would probably be friend -> sibling -> parent. Let’s hope neither of us reach that point anytime soon, OP!
My cats, husband, close friends and then therapist. Why I cuddle with my cats during hard times should be obvious, also husband. But when it’s really bad I definetly text or call my therapist and cry on her voicemail.
No one anymore. I usually go to suicide forums tbh. It kinda helps to go somewhere where people talk openly about it.
I remember the first time I tried to end my life so well. I was ready to give it all up, f*ck the pain y’know. I’ve never spoken about it with anyone close to me, I don’t think that I ever will.
Nobody, because I’m afraid to upset/burden anyone by making my problems theirs. It’s caused issues in the past for me so I think my best bet will be finding a therapist lmfao
I for one certainly hope your situation changes for the better, therapist or otherwise.
That’s not a thing right? Nobody wants to deal with your personal shit. Everyone has their own issues and don’t need more. Just like everyone else, nobody. It’s my shit to sort out.
We are social creatures and there’s just so much you can handle on your own. I wonder what your point of view is about Friendship. What do you consider as a friend? What does make a friend? Genuinely curious.
Suicide prevention hotlines. It helps to have a neutral voice to emphasise with me or tell me what help I need to sought out.
Nobody. Everytime I’ve reached out in the past has never worked out. Haven’t gone outside in about 5 years. I go to therapy, but 1 hour a month isn’t enough to even scratch the surface of what I’m dealing with let alone anything new that happened between visits. I feel like a burden to my girlfriend and family (dont even have much of that left anymore.) And I’m too far gone at this point to make friends. If they won’t invite me to game night over steam, why would I think they’d let me trauma dump on them or cry on their shoulder? Even typing this comment feels like a pointless cry for attention.
“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.”
- Aldous Huxley
Same, dude, same.
Thankfully, my answer isn’t nobody.
I was completely alone until high school. I’ve got Asperger’s so that didn’t help things, but therapy and finally meeting sane people in high school got me to make friends. I’m ending college now and I’m still in touch with them. Got at least three people ready to listen to my rambling.
Now my biggest worry is losing them. I doubt I could rebuild that relationship with anyone else. We’ve been through everything.
