I’m happy to accept a juice box to the face as part of my end of life nursing duties. To Valhalla with you all!!!
Iirc that’s not even their heaven it’s just where their best fighters go to join Odin’s army so they can fight and lose in Ragnarok. Iirc Hel is their underworld and it can be a good or bad place depending on who you are.
It’s not even where all their fighters go. Odin only gets half. Freyja gets the other half who go to Fólkvangr.
And don’t you also have to die with weapon in hand too?
I thought you had to die with weapon in hand? Or is it a fictional interpretation? (well, invented as a later interpretation, I mean)
Its conflicting even in the sources. There’s at least two lines that directly say “everyone who dies in battle goes to Valhal” However the sagas and Eddas are full of people dying in battle who are said to go to Hel. Similarly we have many people who do not die in battle who seem to believe they will be going to Odinn’s hall. (academic speculation warning) most of the people who die outside of battle but still intend to go to valhal deem to be specifically Odinn worshippers. Perhaps there’s a link there to the odinnic cult.
Yes, that’s a contemporary interpretation. Most people wouldn’t want to go to Válhöll, and even the majority of warriors would rather rest in Helheim. And, of those chosen by the Valkyries, half to go Fólkvangur with Freyja. You also don’t have to die in battle necessarily. A legendary warrior who earns Odin’s favor might go even if he dies of age raising sons to be warriors (a very respectable position).
You know what else died in combat? Every bee that’s ever stung anybody throughout all time.
Some men live just to send bees to Valhalla
Fuck yeah, can’t make mead without honey
Pint half full
Since a vast majority of bees are female, they should become a swarm of Shieldmaidens!
I don’t think that would work, hospice nurses are pretty chill. I mean no matter how much of an asshole you are, they know they can smugly wait and watch you die.
Odin: “Fine. You’re in. Go sit at the kid’s table. The adults are looting and pillaging and quaffing beer.”
I read queefing beer, and had a whole new picture of Valhalla.
“Queen of Valhalla, sit on my face !”
Why would you want to go to Valhalla? If you’re tossing juice at a caretaker to cheat your way into an afterlife, you’re not the type that’d do well murdering people for eons.
How does that connect? Maybe they were the type who was really good at murdering and bad at dying. Now they’re old and weak because that and this is the last chance to escape Hel’s grip.
Back in the day people were really dumb as fuck
We have a bunch of Christians in Israel breeding red cows to make Jesus come back.
https://www.timesofisrael.com/red-heifer-temple-institute/
The stupid never left.
Imagine thinking that the belief of a sky-fairy that sticks his baby into a virgin woman is somehow more sensible than Valhalla.
2 things can be dumb
In which case the observation is “people are really dumb”, no past tense.
My ancestors are smiling on me, Imperial. Can you say the same?
Did it work? How is the Beer?
** ends up in fólkvangur instead **
Petting Freyja’s war-cat…
horse-sized purrs
Thats also acceptable i think.
Very much so, yes. Honestly Válhöll is a little hardcore for most warriors (Berserkers would have a blast though). But tbh Helheim is a pretty nice place if you aren’t itching for bloodshed…
