Based off a post I made on Reddit a while back. Hope y’all enjoy.
Edit: Since people are mentioning it - the stat buffs do not matter. I was being silly when I threw those in. But yes, the scale is 0-100.
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I already have the frying pan
My nigga.
You can’t have my frying pan, but supper’s at 6, the pan will have mac and cheese in it tonight, made with twisty noodles instead of elbows and my bechamel based cheese mix has about 6 kinds of cheese topped with more cheese and panko.
Coin
Look, the glasses are nice and all, but they don’t give you a 50% change to win the lottery and randomly realise a way to prove/disprove the Riemann hypothesis every two weeks
I wonder how this works with elections. In my country, the votes are counted within 12 hours. When I’m voting on a party, I am attempting to make said party the largest one. Does the coin just give me a 50% chance to unilaterally decide my government every election cycle?
Edit: oh shit, it’s not 50% chance, but 100% after it came into effect once. The first time it lands on heads, try to guess the next flip’s outcome by guessing it would be heads. Since the coin is in effect, this guess is correct, even though the next coin will only be flipped in two weeks
In other words, the coin just gives you reality warping for halve a day every two weeks
It says “everything the user attempts” which technically you can guess what the next coin result will be correctly but your guess will stop being lucky after 12 hours and your attempt won’t be lucky.
Coin sounds the best tbh. It’s an infinite money with extra benefits.
I’m assuming there’s a downside, like you have to commit to whatever thing you were planning before the flip. So like I say I’m going to slap a cop, and then I flip the coin, hoping for the best.
Maybe the effect only lasts until you look which side of the coin came up - so you won’t know how it will go until you’ve tried it. :D
Does the coin just give me a 50% chance to unilaterally decide my government every election cycle?
No, this one is the most like a “monkey’s paw” on this list. Here’s why:
everything the user attempts will work out in their favor
For instance, the worst possible candidate in your district/country is absolutely going to lower your taxes. Doesn’t matter who you want to win.
Couldn’t you use the penny and just attempt to find the cure for death? It makes everything else silly.
Ok great now you have the cute of death. You’re the only person who knows it’s true and you created it basically out of complete accident. Now explain it’s mechanics to a scientist the next day.
If it works someone will reverse engineer it with time
Just wait 2 weeks
Well obviously you just attempt to invent it afterwards and succeed by random chance.
The penny is OP. Flip a coin, get a heads, buy the most expensive lottery ticket at the gas station. Wait 2 weeks, repeat. Infinite money glitch
Your thinking too small. With the glasses you can just talk your way into being a ceo and be a billionaire in a few years. Have fun talking to the lottery commission when I am sipping brandy with people I hate.
I was trying to avoid “cool item give big money” because that’s exactly what I did when I posted the idea on Reddit. It was a set of dice that would give the winning lottery numbers and then scatter like the Dragon Balls. And then guess what half of everyone chose. At least the penny can be used for things other than gambling. Idk maybe something like that should be a single use item to balance things out.
It’s functionally a wish every 4 weeks, and you know if you’ll succeed or not before you attempt whatever it is.
Win the lottery, invent time travel, learn to fly, solve world hunger, conquer the universe, create the other artifacts…
I’m not sure that’s how it works. You could do anything that day, but it’s not a learning matter. You still wouldn’t know how to fly a plane the next day if you didn’t learn. Same with inventing. You could invent a time machine but for once you’d need to know when it’s finished and functional and second you probably wouldn’t know how it works, how to repair and replicate it, maybe not even how to use it.
I mean I guess it depends how strictly you take it. If literally everything works out in your favour, and you set out to build it, you’ll know you’re done when you don’t feel inclined to do anything further because it worked out.
As far as using/repairs etc, you obviously wouldn’t attempt to do so during times the coin is not in effect, you’d just wait till the next heads. When you attempt to use it, it will work out.
But even that can be potentially mitigated somewhat. You could say, set out to write a manual that even a child could understand for example.
I think the best path though would be to use it to make money, then once you have effectively unlimited funds, create companies aimed towards goals you want to achieve, and use the 12 hours to set out to hire the best, smartest and most loyal people in the world. You’ll be able to pay them whatever they need. Any time they get stuck, you can use the 12 hours to guide them.
12 hours every ~4 weeks might not seem like much, but if you use that time to set everything up well and prepare for the 12 hours, you’ll get a lot done in that time. The only issue is people at your companies trying to work out why the super rich super genius that was able to start all these things only comes into work to help every couple of months.
You’d probably want to come across as super eccentric or something as well.
Sure - invent a time machine that
any idiotonly you can use without any special knowledge - interface is date here, push button or similar.If it breaks? Wait 14 days on average.
When you can do anything, the only limit is your imagination. You’re god with a cooldown, and even the cooldown quickly becomes trivial.
…You’d succeed at trying to commit something to memory permanently.
…You’d succeed at creating and moving to a perfect universe (or reshaping this one) in the space of 5 minutes.
I want the underwear. Personal hygiene is annoying
Ok … duh … the glasses are the best artifact.
You could be running the world in no time with that kind of charm applied to politics.
Jesus, who the fuck wants to do that…?
I am definitely not qualified to run the world.
Delegate! Just use the glasses to convince qualified trustworthy people to run the world for you.
Identifying qualified trustworthy people may not be a simple task, everyone has an ulterior motive.
True, but I’m banking on the magic glasses getting them to open up about their ulterior motives so I can filter accordingly.
I refer back to my original comment then, who the fuck wants to do that?
You get to be a full time interviewer, with any bad decisions you make fucking up the planet. The ulterior motives may not exist initially but you can be sure that someone will convince your A-team there are “better” ways to do things.
No thank you, give me 7 extra hours per day to enjoy myself with only 1 hour needed to sleep.
Coin is overpowered af. Just flip the coin and buy a lottery. At that precise moment, all other items are practically useless.
You can hire a cook, sleep, buy whatever you need, hire people to do your bidding. Who needs charisma when they have money?
It is overpowered af but don’t use it to get money. Use it to get the charisma glasses and each of the others during your first 12 hours (coincidently, they will all be close and easy to grab). Then attempt to write out an exhaustive list of any other objects or abilities that might threaten you (or maybe start with this one, as the glasses are the only one that threatens you from the original list). I’d say hopefully no one else has some other object or ability that warns them of anything that might threaten them, but yours might nullify theirs during your 12 hours. Attempt to deal with the list before half the time has passed.
Then start attempting to gain new abilities. Or attempt to find 28 more coins. 28 instead of 27 so that you can flip the next coin before the current one runs out and never fail the next flip. The sleep mask ensures you never sleep through a transition. Not that you’ll even need the ability to be constantly active.
“Anything you attempt” is waaaaay too broad.
Absolutely. I was assuming one can only access to one item.
Yeah I was going to choose the sleep mask until I saw the coin. If everything goes my way then I effectively have the powers of the glasses and the frying pan, plus unlimited luxury from lotteries, discoveries, opportunities, etc. The cooldown needs to be nerfed, or maybe add a negative debuff to the tails side.
The sleep mask looks like the obvious bet. Have you ever been awake for 20 hours straight? It’s not debilitating, but after about 18 I start getting woozy. I’m gonna go with it anyway, because even if I take the penny and win the lottery, the one thing money can’t buy is time
Au conteaire, money well spent does, in fact, buy time. If you are broke and have to spend half your day riding buses to get your errands done and you buy a car and can get them done in an hour or two, that is half a day you just bought. If you can hire a maid and a chef, that is all of the time that would have been spent cleaning and cooking that you now get to figure out how to spend. Don’t let anyone lie to you that money cannot buy time, because being able to use money to speed up tasks or offload them entirely is literally buying time.
Yeah the penny is crazy OP. Ultimately, if something can be done, you can do it. Ignoring what you said for a moment, which is entirely true.
Get rich, create company that is focused on sleep research and ways to reduce/eliminate it while staying 100% healthy, unlimited funds, top minds, and every month you can help speed things up significantly.
And if it’s fundamentally impossible, you’ll still have plenty of other goals to choose from, and you’ll absolutely appreciate having the entire day free to do what you want while having to sleep, vs having to still go to work but sitting up all night.
The other catch is, while it states a cool down of 20 hours, functionally you’d generally have to be awake 23 hours, unless you had the luxury of being able to sleep at any time. Sleeping every 20 hours for 1 hour isn’t going to stay at a consistent time.
You can still go to bed if you’re tired. Just put on the mask when the cooldown is up. Or don’t.
The mask would solve all of the world’s problems.
If everyone has them the work hours will double. You can thank capitalism.
I mean, if everyone sleeps 7 less hours, that’s 7 more hours to do other stuff, and a lot of people do “other stuff” that require some kind of investment - painting requires colors, carpentery requires wood, most stuff requires electricity etc. - so people would HAVE TO work more in order to fuel the 7 more hours of economy.
there’s already plenty of unbought products in this overpricer capitalistic hellhole we live in
The frying pan, mask and coin are definitely the best 3, in order. The frying pan is good for QOL, and if “while in use” is for an unlimited time, you could definitely start a business with it, as it would most likely make supernaturally good food. The mask just straight up effectively make your life longer because youd be concious for more of it. The average lifespan is 75 years in first world countries, so assuming 8hrs of sleep a day, most people will sleep for 8212 days in their lives (~22yrs) however, assuming you got the mask at 18, and only slept using it thereafter,by the time you are 75 you’d only have slept for 2470 days(~6.7yrs), meaning you are concious for 24905 days, which is almost the same as having lived to 115 with normal 8hr sleep. However, the coin is objectively best. The only real drawback to the coin is the 2 week wait period, which seems would be triggered regardless if you land a tails.that being said, a 50% to be capable of limited reality bending for 12 hours every 2 weeks is still super fucking good. You could just try to do something thats physically impossible and it should work anyways. The capabilities are actually almost limitless with it.
The penny, then I’ll try and take the rest. (Flips coin, it landed on heads!)
I have to choose the glasses. They’re powerful and they have no activation or cooldown.
I was sold on the mask at “the wearer go falls asleep in 30 seconds” then read the rest. Undeniably the best one here.
Sincerely, a night owl who takes forever to fall asleep, and is perpetually tired
I was like f yeah let these glasses turn into superpowers but then yeah, it’s not even a contest. 1 hr and fully rested is OP, you have to keep it quiet though, don’t let your employer know, or anyone else, or the things become mandatory.
Lets just balace the penny by saying it makes you 100x more likely to succeed.
I would go crazy just to have the fatigue masking mask.
1 hour… fully rested??? Assuming one gets 8 hours of sleep a night (though, who is really getting 8 a night on lemmy?), you’ve just converted your ratio of sleep-to-awake from 1:2 to 1:23.
Extreme change imo, plus gives you the benefit of having time to take care of your hygiene anyway.
