My manager introduced me at a company picnic to the guy who hired him years ago. We no longer worked in his org, but he was still someone who my boss admired. The guy had already had a few drinks and reached out to shake my hand. On my way to shake his, he happened to glance at my badge (I forgot I even still had it on) and noticed I’m a contractor.
“Oh, you’re a contractor?” As he immediately withdraws his hand. “Are you at least working to go full-time?”
He literally never shook my hand. It’s been over a year and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. What a dick.
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When I was told to get lost and go back to China because the pandemic reliefs were for the fellow countrymen.
Are you from China? Anyone who managed to escape that country should be praised, not told to go back.
Not China, but you know the rest… like that Laotian character from King of the Hills who gets asked “So you’re from China or Japan?” everytime.
Your from the ocean?
As a marginalized person, it tends to occur more often than not; but, it’s not like that’s necessarily unusual.
There’s a comment here that would say that’s a you problem. Must be nice, not having your Identity be a matter of political “disagreement” for people.
Must be nice lol
This is a good question! Honestly I can’t even think of a time. Usually when someone says something insulting or hurtful, I just lose respect or consideration for them. After all, it says more about them than it does about me.
To add an example, I recently got told to “go back to my country you [lazy racial slurs]” by a MAGA loving shithead neighbor.
I was born here, and the old asshole who said it emigrated here less than a decade ago. It was a flabbergasting experience.
I mean, that’s just hilarious due to how absurd it is
My mother told me that she hated me. After a really dumb argument we had, as adults. I still talk to her and play nice in front of our siblings but I haven’t forgiven her and I don’t think I ever will. I lost a lot of love for my mother in a single day and then nothing anyone has said to me since has ever matched or beaten that feeling. How do you trump your own mother hating you? She moved on like she never said it. No apologies. Never mentioned it. You can call me every name and slur and hang me for all my fuckups and oddities, but you can’t hurt me. I’m already at 0 HP emotionally
Oof. Mine wrote me in a letter that she wasn’t my mother anymore. Later pretended she never meant it. 20 years pass. Then she writes me a message saying I ruined my kid’s life. I cut contact then. I still miss the friendly mom she sometimes was.
My mom wrote a similar letter with all that she thought of me. I picked it up and threw it out. Idc what it said there I never will. Bitch be even more self-centred then idk who, I have my flaws but I also know to try and not take it out on other (sometimes).
I don’t think she evel will be able to
Writing this kind of mean stuff, having the chance to re-read it, and then sending it anyway to ones own child is what gets me. Ugly things said in the heat of a discussion are not great, but to have the chance to sleep over it, think it through, and still going forward. Another level of mean.
To be fair she and my father where having a divorce and I reminded her of my dad a lot…lol. I understood why my dad separated when she started pulling that type of shit
I, in your stead, would fight back.
I seriously mean it. Drive up to her and explain her why she is such a stupid person. I guess that you will feel better then. It’s important to always be honest, and that includes sometimes saying difficult truths.
I have come to terms with the fact that some people are too damaged to be dealt with. Their perspective and handling of life and mine just diverge too much, and any effort spent trying to align these perspectives is bound to cause more hurt.
I think about contacting her so often. Once I got a birthday message from her sister, who she lives with. I mentioned the hurt and why I was not talking to my mother, and got back more of the same emotional abuse. Both aunt and mom are lost, out there with their anger and bitterness, and it’s not my job to retrieve them, as much as I would like to.
The fact she turned into a literal nazi in just a few decades (thank you facebook) doesn’t help the situation.
I don’t think she meant it. She probably said it in the heat of the moment and then forgot she even said it later.
Oh, you have no idea.
In an ideal world, every parent loves their child.
Unfortunately, some people do not live in an ideal world. There’s a lot of parents who mistreat their children, and that doesn’t exclude mothers, unfortunately.
Had a homeless guy get right in my face and shouted UGLY!
I know that probably has more to do with his life than mine, but it’s hard not to take it personally and wonder if it’s what everyone else is too polite to say.
It’s, as you have already said, most likely an emotional issue on his side.
There is no such thing as “the beauty standard”.
Well, yeah. I agree beauty is a flawed, racist, social construct that is just societal opinions in bulk. But money is also a fake social construct that has very real affects on everyday life. We can deconstruct the term “beauty” all night, but that doesn’t change the lived reality of being called ugly having a real, genuine, hurtful effect on my self esteem.
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I cannot go into depth about it but I had an issue with some stuff and talked to the people responsible about it. Was told to expect a response that never came. Someone else then told me about discussions that were happening behind the scenes and how one potential fix was floated. Said fix being something that didn’t address the core problem but was instead a pat on the head and a lollipop to me so that they could keep doing thing anyway.
If you don’t wanna address the issue that’s fine but don’t insult me by floating something that doesn’t listen to anything I’ve said and addresses a problem that doesn’t exist.
Back when I was in high school, a friend of mine introduced me to his friend. This kid, knowing that I’m Jewish, started to go on a rant ending with “the only thing Hitler did wrong was not finishing the job!”
Him saying that me and my family should be killed for the “crime” of being Jewish… Well, offended seems too light of a word. I blew right past offended and landed in ANGERED.
Now, usually, I’m a pretty relaxed guy. I typically don’t get angry even if I should. But this made me want to punch the guy right in his Hitler loving face. My friend had to hold me back.
(And before anyone asks, this wasn’t the kid being “edgy” or trolling me to get a reaction. He actually worshipped Hitler and thought he was a great man.)
How was it going to highschool with Trump?
Hey, I may feel old, but I’m not THAT old! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to yell at some kids to get off my lawn.
be careful of the stairs, You don’t want to have to go through another hip surgery.
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Many times by my mom. Recently in reference to me balding, she said “you look like a <family name>, that’s too bad”. It was so bad even my dad did a double take.
My husband recently said that I had a nice ass when I was younger, but currently it’s “just something that happens to some women when they get older.” I’m 40.
Did you tell him you preferred when his balls didn’t leave drag marks on the floor
Ass is ass. I’d take any ass!
yikes, what a dick. btw, daily squats work wonders :p
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I’m reasonably thick skinned, and often if I feel insulted I think about it awhile and decide I am wrongly interpreting whatever pissed me off. Only a couple of times I have kept getting madder and madder instead, so then I address the person who made the remark, and it’s gone pretty well each time.
Once when a boss congratulated a new president of the “activities committee” by saying now we had a real president (after I had done it the year before, and gotten a lot done). This was years ago. Couple days later I confronted him and he said he’d been thinking about how rude that was, and was going to apologize.
I guess my point is - if you are easily insulted maybe it’s you. If you are not easily insulted and get insulted you may have to communicate with the insulting party to be able to let it go.
