Basic hygiene.
cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)
He only “cleans” himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore… and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.
The worst I have heard was when my husband’s old boss was proudly bragging about how he didn’t even leave work to be with his wife while she was giving birth to their first child.
He honestly believed that was something to be proud of.
We live in Australia too, so it’s not like he had American orphan crushing machine to blame. He was just a horrible piece of shit.
Someone couldn’t ever admit that he was wrong to a woman, particularly not to a girl.
So I said, ‘why did you buy the American sliced cheese, you hate all of the additives?’ and he refused to believe that there were additives. I litterally pulled out the American cheese and read the ingredients list out, then compared it to our usual cheddar, which just listed milk, but he refused to admit that a teenage girl knew more than him.
Sit beside friend in a theater. There had to be an empty seat between them.
“We look like f**s…”
So based on this thread, I have to conclude that the danger of traditional masculinity has been massively overreported.
Good thing this thread isn’t what the dangers of traditional masculinity are solely reported on.
This thread asked about the most absurd, not the most dangerous.
The real answer is violence. Toxic males are too quick to react to the slightest perceived transgressions with overwhelming violence.
But this is social media and we are looking for funny answers.
I watched an extremely drunk dude kick his own ass at the nightclub because I accidentally touched his hand when reaching for my drink. He started drunkenly yelling at me that I was some kind of homo for wanting to touch him. I told him it was an accident, and walked outside to have a cigarette. He followed me outside and tried to fight me. But, he was so drunk that I saw his punch coming a mile away and just stepped back a couple of inches. The momentum from his punch carried him all the way around in a circle and then he fell forward and smacked his head on a brick planter. The sound was awful. He knocked himself out cold, and blood was everywhere. I just went back inside while the bouncers tried to wake him up, and I never saw him again.
I watched an extremely drunk dude kick his own ass at the nightclub
Greatest thing I’ve read all night.
Haha, I’m glad it was entertaining.
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Refusing an umbrella. Ok, be wet then.
Wait, I have clarifying questions.
Were you also in the rain?
Were you offering the umbrella to take with me?
Were you offering to share the umbrella?
I don’t mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it’s really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I’ll just go without.
If you are also in the rain, I don’t want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.
If I’m taking the umbrella with me, that’s an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don’t trust myself to remember to do. I’d rather be a little wet than create that social contract I’m probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.
If you’re offering to share the umbrella, there’s an implied intimacy there. I’m happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don’t want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I’ll happily share an umbrella with, but there’s a much larger number of people who might offer and I’ll decline. Like another parent at a kid’s sporting event. Someone who’s name I ought to know, but can’t remember, and I’ve met the other parent, but I don’t know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I’m fairly oblivious to the “signals” as my wife will attest, and I’ve been accused in the past of leading people on, so I’m a little gunshy.
So if that’s being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I’d rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I’m going to have to see at every PTO meeting.
Ok, be wet then.
Thanks for the permission?
Isn’t being wet gayer than using an umbrella?
Not gonna lie, I just hate dealing with umbrellas. They suck most of the time. I love my rain jacket though
same, maybe I’m just stupid or something, but I can never close them without getting water all over myself.
Hahaha, I was in my car once, in a parking lot, and I saw this white-oakley-wearing baloon animal due running to his jacked up truck with his shoulders all hunched because it started raining. No one else was doing that LOL
Wait, I have clarifying questions.
Were you also in the rain?
Were you offering the umbrella to take with me?
Were you offering to share the umbrella?
I don’t mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it’s really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I’ll just go without.
If you are also in the rain, I don’t want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.
If I’m taking the umbrella with me, that’s an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don’t trust myself to remember to do. I’d rather be a little wet than create that social contract I’m probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.
If you’re offering to share the umbrella, there’s an implied intimacy there. I’m happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don’t want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I’ll happily share an umbrella with, but there’s a much larger number of people who might offer and I’ll decline. Like another parent at a kid’s sporting event. Someone who’s name I ought to know, but can’t remember, and I’ve met the other parent, but I don’t know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I’m fairly oblivious to the “signals” as my wife will attest, and I’ve been accused in the past of leading people on, so I’m a little gunshy.
So if that’s being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I’d rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I’m going to have to see at every PTO meeting.
Well somebody has to be wet, because their wife sure as hell aint.
Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is “gay” and “feminine”
Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn’t gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it’s the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.Lmao literally “fellas, is it gay to love a woman?”
Obligatory Steve Hughes bit
I’m so glad someone linked it as it’s the first thing I thought of
Hehhe It’s so great
Just in case you haven’t noticed yet, youtube has started putting trackers on their links when you copy them. You can delete the question mark and the si= string and the link works without the tracker
Thank you, I did not notice, i will edit the original comment if i can
Yeah, working in a factory was full of the bullshit like this, but this was the weirdest example. Things that boiled down to “No, I can wear less protective equipment than you!” were very common.
Even if you take the “gay argument” out of things, why would you let a group of 4 divorced guys give you relationship advice?
Hella gay. You need to engage in naked Greco Roman wrestling with another man to wash that gay off.
Sarah Silverman had a bit about how heterosexual love is… Kinda gay, by toxic masculinity standards.
To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They’re girly, weak and smell nice.
Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who’s just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim’s rod penetrating you, because you’re a manly man who’s made of tougher stuff.
Fucking women is gay because women like men and liking men is gay
enduring the pain of Big Jim’s rod penetrating you,
Fellas, is it gay to use lube for anal?
You’re not a true man until you sand it up.
Probably still less painful than figging.
figging
Ugh. Off to Urban Dictionary I go.
Edit: Inserting peeled ginger into the anus. Ok, I’d heard of this with horses, it’s even mentioned in one of Sir Terry Pratchett’s books. Id not heard of people doing it to themselves or each other but I’m not surprised."
Not if it’s 5W30 Valvoline.
Real super straight hetero male masc men use blood (but no tears as crying is gay) as lube when fucking bros.
You know what they say: There is nothing more manly than gay sex.
Being too ashamed to tell people I couldn’t swim as a kid in situations that seriously could have ended in me drowning.
Not sure if this counts, but one guy I knew would boast about how he never drinks water. It was a matter of pride for him that he only drank soda. I know he was lying because I’d seen him drink water, but better not tell him that.
Eating pussy.
Saw a group of 14 year-old boys refuse to admit that it’s harder to hold a pool cue out from your body if you hold it at one end than if you hold it in the middle (simple demonstration of leverage).
What does this have to do with masculinity?
Pool cue looks like a giant cock.
Squints
I don’t see it.
They wouldn’t admit they found one thing more difficult than another thing, in case it implied they were weak !
Did you apply a counterforce to embarrass their egos?
I was too gobsmacked by how ridiculous they were being to think of another proof!
wut
Routine colonoscopy after hitting middle age
I fear colonoscopies not because of toxic masculinity, but, because I don’t think it would be very comfortable
Tbh I think we all kinda suck at routine doctors appointments. Speaking as a woman
It just feels inconvenient to make time for it nowadays and it always gets delayed
Right, but there is a difference between me being a lazy antisocial person who hates talking on the phone to make an appointment, and being afraid to make an appointment because I’m worried I might like the feeling of something long and firm going in my ass.
no problem, if you’re that worried about a routine colonoscopy turning you gay, congrats! you’re definitely into cock!
Wait THAT’S why people neglect their appointments? I thought it was just laziness and neglect!
Can confirm, am someone who hates (gets anxiety thinking about) talking on the phone
cooking
That’s so weird, because it’s such a manly profession out in restaurants and the career version of it. But the second cooking happens at the home, now it’s woman’s work (to these toxic masculinity guys). So bizarre.
I’m guessing they view cooking at home as unmanly because it’s main purpose is taking care of others.
While a career in cooking is stressful and difficult. Very manly indeed.
My father in law used to get on my case a lot about cooking. I love to cook. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and have done it professionally. He wasn’t nasty about it but he’s an older fella (being that I’m 50) and he used to say “I just can’t understand.” He has been around good food his entire life made all around the world. I asked him to name one professional chef that was female aside from Julia Child. At the time there weren’t many well known in that boys club yet. Then I explained.that my workshop ( a big thing in his life) was the kitchen. Gadgets, fire and sharp things that can lop off fingers everywhere you look. It took him a long time to accept it but he worked it out.
My sister doesn’t want to cook because she’s brainwashed by capitalism feminist movement culture.
Are you sure she is the one that’s brainwashed?
Ye what does “capitalism feminist movement culture” even mean lmao
Reusing a plastic bag to get their lunch from the shop
