Almost every jar of pickles claims a serving of pickles has zero calories. Now clearly, this is incorrect and the result of exploiting some ridiculous FDA loophole, since anyone knows that cucumbers provide calories.
So let’s say you’re in a situation where you lose all access to food, but you’ve got effectively unlimited access to pickles – like, you’re trapped inside a recently abandoned pickle warehouse.
Could you conceivably eat enough pickles to survive for a month? Two months? Or would your body just shut down from all the sodium and acid?
I don’t know enough to answer but I like this question
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Hey man maybe just eat regular food
You don’t need to! That’s the point.
Imagine the shit you would have to take after a few days of even trying. I would definitely not trust a fart after day three.
calorie negative food requires more energy to digest than they give you. The more you preprocess them like cooking, the more that changes. It the basis for the cabbage soup diet that while this wikipedia page pans my wife swears by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabbage_soup_diet . Although she does not eat just the soup but uses it as a supplement cruch that does have a lot of non caloric nutrients to stay full. I have no idea why the wiki page say medical professionals say the weight lost is water. I find that hard to believe given the amount of water consumed as part of eating soup. Im just skeptical of what medical professionals or what proportion said that particular thing.
The cabbage soup diet has many names, usually linking the diet to a mainstream institution, including the “Sacred Heart Diet”, “Military Cabbage Soup”, “TJ Miracle Soup Diet”, and “Russian Peasant Diet”. All of the institutions named have denied a link with the diet.
Russian peasants: "Don’t blame us for this shit!”
For the water part, in the wikipedia article it is said in context with the claim that people lose 4.5 kg within a week. That weight is unrealistically just fat. A kg of body fat has about 7700 kcal iirc (I remember it is not exactly 9000 kcal/kg but less and google spat out 7700), so that would necessitate an energy expenditure of 3850 kcal/day (if you wanted to lose 4.5 kg/7 days). This would be a lot, at least for a regular sized person with moderate activity levels (mostly we estimate 2000-2500 kcal/day as an energy need). You also have something like 2000 kcal saved in your body as glycogen, which will also be broken down of you fast. Glycogen is stored in a kind of “water shell”, so when you burn through glycogen, you also “lose water” (1 g of glucogen : 3 g of water I think). Considering you’ll put your body in a kind of “fasting mode”, the diet will also cause a metabolic response where your metabolism will slow down and cling on what you have. Muscles will also be broken down for gluconeogenesis from amino acids.
People who are trying to eat healthy are probably also cutting back salt (intentionally or by eating less processed food), so their body retains less fluid in its tissues.
Do she be fartin?
maybe but my wife is one of those women who won’t use the bathroom away from home, does not want anyone to hear or in anyway know she farted and does not like the bathroom door open when she is in there on the toilet.
Asking the real questions here
Cucumbers themselves, like basically every green vegetable, dont provide sustainable amounts of calories. But assuming pickles cant have a different calorie count from the cucumbers they started with is a bit nonsense, it’s like saying wood ash will burn as well as unburnt wood. It’s undergone chemical processes that alter its makeup. If you’re talking about conventional vinegared pickles, that’s acids breaking down the few carbohydrates and proteins, and if you’re talking about lacto-fermented pickles, that’s bacteria eating the calories first and converting into carbon dioxide. You can also compare the vitamins for fresh cucumbers vs labeled on the pickle jar. They’re not finding loopholes to not label the health benefits of what they’re selling, the pickling process also destroys vitamins.
But they are using a technicality that allows them to label them as 0 calories. While pickles don’t have many calories, they don’t have 0. According to fda guidelines a serving between 0-5 calories can be claimed as 0 calories and even the nutrition facts is allowed to say 0.
It’s not a technicality, it’s just rounding. Go check out the nutrition labels on various foods you got. The majority of them will be rounded to the nearest tenth. A few low calorie ones might be rounded to the nearest fifth. Less than that is for all practical purposes 0 calories. You will not get a significant amount of calories no matter how many pickles you eat. Forget the sodium and acidity, your body cant hold enough pickle mass to add up to a snack’s worth of calories.
I mean… Couldn’t rounding be considered a technicality?
Like gym bros putting spray butter on everything because it has “zero calories,” hahahha.
Hey are you by any chance trapped in a recently abandoned pickle warehouse?
He’s just asking for a friend. Dont bother him and awnser the dammn question👽👽
I suspect he’s locked a hostage in one and wants to know how long he can leave him there before he adds a murder charge to his kidnapping charge.
Easy. If I was trapped in a recently abandoned pickle factory, then I would survive on the food in the staff canteen, starting with what had just been prepared, such as pizza and sandwiches; after a day or so I would move on to see what was in the refrigerators, and finally work my way up to the frozen food. Oh, by the way, when they abandoned the factory, they forgot to turn off the power, so all the perishables are still nicely preserved.
Also, lots of things can be pickled, not just cucumbers. The word “pickles” makes me immediately think of pickled onions. There is usually quite a bit of sugar in the picking vinegar.
Yes, but imagine it’s a pickle warehouse, like strictly a warehouse somewhere that houses product.
Also, I’m not sure where you live, but if a place in the US put pickled onions on your burger when you asked for pickles, I think we’d have a problem. “Pickles” without further context always means pickled cucumbers. That’s even how they’re labeled in supermarkets.
if a place in the US put pickled onions on your burger when you asked for pickles, I think we’d have a problem
Hell nah. Pickled onion is really good on a burger. I wish it was more common.
I … I can’t … I … am I smoking salvia?
Pickled onions may be good if you ask for it. I’m not arguing about the flavor lmao. I’m saying 100% of people who ask for “pickles” without further elaboration are expecting pickled cucumbers because that’s what’s meant by “pickles” here in the US. It’s how they’re labeled on menus, packaging including jars, advertising, literature, movies, comics, and all other forms of media.
NO ONE anywhere in the US means “pickled onions” when they say “pickles.” No one.
Just as well that I am not in the US then.
Understandable! I was just frustrated with that other person for a second because I wrote a paragraph about what “pickles” means in the US, which seemed to go ignored. But we cleared it up lol
Oh lol. I read that wrong. Yeah, that would be a problem. “Yo, where’s my pickle?”
Is this the follow up to the no poop question made months ago?
I feel like eating nothing but pickles is the polar opposite of the no poop question.
First the one, then the other.
Now that I think about it, it really works in both orders. Just went for 3 days without shitting? Eat a bunch of pickles and it’ll flush your right out! Need to go 3 days without shitting? Eat a bunch of pickles the day before you start to completely void your system.
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If you’re also drinking water and only eating a few pickles a day for the salt and mineral content, you can water fast safely for a good while if you have enough body fat.
Folk with morbid obesity have safely water fasted up to a year.
The pickles would only be sustaining you so far as salt and minerals though, your body fat would be doing the rest to keep you alive.
Folk with morbid obesity have safely water fasted up to a year.
With medical supervision, supplements for vitamins & nutrients, and other considerations for their particular condition. Certainly not something a person should do on their own.
I don’t think he’s actually planning to try this… is he?
It would take more energy to digest the pickle than the pickle would provide.
One example that I like to use is this: would a cockroach eat it? Roaches eat everything from food crumbs to wallpaper paste. Anything with calories. Do you know something that roaches WON’T eat? Cucumbers.
So long as the pickles don’t have sugar in the brine, I would say you would likely starve to death.
That is a poor metric. Pickles are salty and acidic as fuck. Covkroaches dont literally eat everything with calories.
Nature has a way of providing an observable metric.
Let me correct my statement. Given no alternatives, cockroaches will eat anything without a caloric deficit. Hence my statement about wallpaper paste. A true infestation of cockraoches will eat anything that will sustain the intrusion. If there is no available “food” around, cockroaches will crawl over cucumbers to eat the paste holding the wallpaper to the wall.
So long as there is no additional sugar in the brine (hence calories), the roaches will not eat the pickles.
Edit: obligatory not an entomologist.
He mentioned that roaches wouldn’t eat cucumbers, not pickles.
I’m pretty sure this would kill you in a short amount of time. Chubbyemu had a video on Youtube where a single, large jar of pickles was enough to nearly kill someone (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF69voHU_ys).
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til the ld50 of pickles is disappointingly low
I just bought some pickles today, AMA.
Have you eaten any? If so, did you survive?
I have eaten some before, not today. I survived and it was 3 pickles too.
Well it’s been 20 minutes so
I call their speakers
I don’t know, but let us know how it goes.
No fat, no protein. You’d starve to death in a matter of weeks. Assuming you have fresh water to drink.
Well, it really reminds me of that famous GreenText about pickles
Is it really possible to shit stomach acid and what would hapeen if it is outside of your stomach will it burn through your skin ?
You’ve never thrown up before?
It’s a much shorter distance from stomach to mouth.
Yes i have but that isnt pure undiluted stomach acid
I think it is after the 2nd or 3rd round
If you’ve had a stomach flu of that variety, it totally is.
I’ve had a flu so bad I barfed every ~ 30 minutes for over 12 hours.
By the end my throat was on fire
But in this situation you can drink water and wash it down, preventing acid damage to your eusophagus. The author of this greentext can’t get water into their intestines.
Did I say I was trying to solve for greentext’s situation?
My comment is clearly related to vomiting
Stomach acid is also why people with some eating disorders like bulimia have badly eroded teeth. The acid from throwing up constantly eats away at your teeth.
Yep. I’m always careful to rinse my mouth thoroughly after barfing, even if still nauseous
And the acidity makes normal tap water taste sweet as if it has sugar in it, it’s pretty neat
Just don’t immediately brush! It weakens your enamel, so swish and spit, and wait like half an hour to brush
Could we evolve to spit stomach acid on command and burn our enemies
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If anyone hasn’t had a butt cam (colonoscopy) before, this basically describes the process for flushing out before the procedure, except the stuff they give you doesn’t taste as good as pickles.
Hah! It’s so true.
Oh good, it’s not just me. I came here to say that the odds of shitting pure pickle juice are way too high to make it worth the risk.
Question answered OP, this will be your daily life until the sweet relief of death
