as always, we’re back. how’s your week going folks
First dinner date in 2 years for me. Gonna have a panic attack. Wish me luck!
Good luck, you got this!
Pretty mixed, feel weirdly restless all the time since I dropped my medication at the end of the week before last week. Got a new vape which is keeping me company at least, a nice E-Elev8R ball vape. Kind of terrifying dealing with the red hot glowing metal heating as it gets up to temperature though.
It’s been pretty awful, sadly. As Neil Gaiman says, “Events are cowards. They come in packs.” It’s been one blow after another all week, and I don’t think I can handle any more bad news.
We don’t have r/Random_Acts_of_Pizza but can I get you some food you like tonight if you’re in the US?
That’s incredibly sweet of you, alas I am in Canada and also would feel guilty because I don’t know how to accept gifts or kindness lol
You deserve both gifts and kindness. I snooped through your profile, are you still in the running for or did you get the job? I also have agoraphobia so I’m super proud of you for going to at least the two rounds :)
I just got my rejection email for the job at the beginning of the week. Thank you, by the way! I’m proud of myself too for getting through several rounds of interviews despite my brain screaming to not step outside. I’ll try again when they do another hiring round in November, I suppose. Maybe I’ll get lucky the second try?
I wish we had gold for comments like this. You seem like a lovely person
My mom who I haven’t seen in like six years is coming to stay with me for a little under a week. She hasn’t seen me in person since I transitioned but is supportive despite her conservative leanings. She’s also visiting me in here in Portland from where she lives in Texas so there’s a double layer of “everything is okay, the city is not on fire” plus all the new trans stuff she’s going to be asking about. So it’ll be a week of doing my best to be an LGBTQ encyclopedia and Portland advocate while catching up with my mom. It should be okay, but it’s going to be stressful 🥲
I hope everything goes well during the visit! If she’s supportive, that’s already a great sign. Constantly explaining things can get exhausting after a while, but it’s definitely easier to handle when those questions are asked in good faith.
I hope you don’t mind me asking, but as someone who is really considering moving to Portland from the deep south, how is it? It seems like a really fun city, but it’s hard to sift through the propaganda with it being such a target for conservative media.
I don’t mind! In fact, here’s way more info than you asked for!
Portland has it’s problems, no doubt. But in comparison to the south? It’s not even close, you couldn’t pay me to move back (and my job tried lol). The weather is more mild, the people more friendly and the culture more inclusive. The food scene is crazy, so much variety and fusions you’ve never heard of. Afters years I’m still discovering new eateries to try and pretty much every place has veggie/vegan options if you’re into that. Super walkable with awesome public transit (for an American city) that makes it great to get around for real cheap. Hiking trails on hiking trails with lots of bike infrastructure. So many fun shows come to town all the time and the local artists are their own brand of amazing weirdness. Also weird subcultures. I’m going to the Mondo Croquet World Championships this Sunday where you play croquet with bowling balls and sledgehammers. Takes place in Portland every year for 26 years and I just learned about it two days ago lol
Now the bad. There’s some sketchiness with some of the houseless encampments around town, but the majority are just people trying to get by. Don’t berate or antagonize them and you’ll be fine. I was just walking in Old Town the other week with a friend, this is often described as the most dangerous part of the city, and it was fine. A houseless person who was talking to himself saw my Mars Attacks shirt there, smiled real big, and then yelled “ack ack ack ack ack!” So I smiled back and gave him a nod, he was satisfied with the exchange and went on his way. Which is honestly how it goes most of the time. Most houseless people I talk to are just thankful I talk to them at all and don’t ignore them. One dude showed me his sweet rock collection on the train, he was stoked to share with someone and they were some pretty sweet rocks tbh. I know anecdotes don’t directly translate to data but for what it’s worth that’s been everybody’s experience I’ve spoken to that I can confirm actually lives here. If you go to the Portland subreddit for instance you’ll see a lot of claims being made but then dig into the profiles to find they don’t actually live here.
Our police department is the worst. I know everyone says that, but like, Portland Police might actually be the worst. They’re on an unofficial soft strike right now and have been since the George Floyd Protests and only respond to the most urgent of urgent calls. Then wonder why everyone hates them and wants to slash their budget. I could go on for a while there but I won’t. Portland cops suck, real hard.
Housing and rent sucks, but so does everywhere else. So, meh. Although with Oregon rent control I’ve been able to renew my lease and have pretty close to what I was paying in rent five years ago because we haven’t moved.
I didn’t meant to type a wall of text, but that’s a very summarized run down of what to expect. I tried to be completely honest because it’s not a perfect city, but I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else at this point.
with it being such a target for conservative media.
It’s kind of a blessing in disguise because it largely keeps conservative people from moving here so it’s mostly really cool/chill people that move here instead lol
I am nowhere near the US but reading this kinda makes me want to go to Portland lol!
It’s great to visit!
deleted by creator
Been doing alright.
Feel burnt out and tired. Worst part is that when I have to sleep, I’m never tired so I end up sleeping about 5 hours. I sometimes take edibles to fall asleep, but it became a bad habit and a couple weeks ago I ran out and I was feeling some sort of dread so I stopped taking them. It has definitely affected the amount of time I sleep, but at least I don’t feel groggy in the morning anymore.
I’m planning a trip with my girlfriend for our one year anniversary. We are probably going to a small cabin at a nearby lake. I’m really looking forward to spending time with her. Whiskey, good food, and my girlfriend sounds really nice, but for now we work.
Not that great.
Starting a new (internal) role tomorrow which got me a £4k payrise and is going to set me on a path to chartered accountancy, which is great when just three months ago my employer announced plans to lay off my whole department and outsource hundreds of jobs to India. After escaping redundancy and purchase ledger (I have been working in PL jobs for the past three years and desperately wanted an out), I should be feeling jubilant.
If anything I feel the opposite.
My sadness/frustration comes from the fact that my love life has all but flatlined. I grow sick of trying to use Tinder, Bumble, Okcupid, Hinge and pretty much any other dating app to exist and getting zero matches from legitimate people. I grow sick of being given false platitudes about how I’ll find someone eventually, when I just know that I’m going to go through my thirties still a virgin.
Part of me seriously worries about success, that I’ll soon each the point where I could command a high five figure, possibly a six figure salary, then suddenly have women flock to me not out of admiration but out of wanting my money.
it was my birfday last thursday
i did the lego great wave of kanagawa set
omg happy belated birthday!! 🤠🥳
I’m bad at self care but I went to the optometrist last week and… my eyeglass prescription doubled. Did you know road signs have words on them? Huh!
Madness. Next you’ll be saying trees have individual leaves and not just big clumps.
Been another week of pointless stressful bullshit at work for me, which eats into my real life outside of work more than I’d like. That being said, making some progress on finding a therapist (a surprisingly difficult process it seems) and also a driving instructor – almost made it to 30 without learning to drive, but the time is now!
Also starting the process of ditching music streaming in favour of Bandcamp, which has been fun. Been feeling some real nostalgia for the old days of buying tracks off iTunes!
I’ve been in touch with my therapist over maybe three distinct periods since 2018. It was always surprisingly slow, draining, and exhausting to get things started for a range of reasons. Slog aside, however, it was always incredibly worth it to get a professional perspective and to begin with professional solutions. By no means has it been perfect, but it’s been much better. I think it’s fair to say it’s been life changing, even. I’d always recommend people consider professional help if it even crosses their mind and they’re in a position where they can access it. All the best in finding a therapist!
-Ditching music streaming sounds cool! I think I’ll still have a place in my playlists for streaming to handle stuff like music I’m trying out or some lower priority tunes, but I’ve been gradually building up my own library. There’s something really satisfying about having the files on my own hardware, or at least having something I purchased online rather than relying on streaming. I’ve had the rug pulled under me with songs or shows I was streaming before. It’s always a bummer to discover one less song or episode in my media library 😞.
My week’s been quite the ride, just like any other week, you know? Ups and downs, twists and turns. But I’m hanging in there. And now that it’s Friday and the weekend’s just around the corner, I’m stoked to catch up with friends and leave the stress behind. How about you? [@[email protected]]
i came out as female to my family and close friends and they have all been very supportive 🥺❤️
Congratulations!! I am so happy your loved ones are accepting!
Congrats!! Coming out is never easy or fun.
Congrats sister! I believe the world gets better every time someone finds and can live their truth, so thank you for sharing yours.
Ahhhhh congrats!!! 🥳🥳🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
Yayyyyy congrats!!
Congrats!!! That’s bravery and courage for sure!
The news has been so terrible, and I read so many sad stories, it’s good to hear something positive. Very happy for you.
Side topic, any plans to watch the Eras tour? It’s filling up my TikTok feed and looks like such a blast.
thank youuu!!
I saw her in June it was amazing! Her set alone was like 3 hours long!!!
I hope there’s going to be a concert film 😭
There’s gotta be, it’s too epic not to be filmed for a documentary!
woke up to a sick dog this morning AND I had to go into the office today :(
I finally discovered why my taste is messed up since I’m taking my ADHD medication. It turns out it’s a side effect that doesn’t disappear, and apparently I can’t do anything about it.
Besides that, I’ve been hyperfocused in this game called Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. Trying to pass the main dungeon, but dying miserably because of things.
And I’m watching two TV series, after several months without consuming any media, except for the news. One is “Red Dwarf”. The other is “Doctor Who”.
Can you tell me more about the taste side effect you’re experiencing? What medication causes that? I’ve been having some weird mouth things since I started a medication a few months ago, but hadn’t thought to connect it until now.
It’s atomoxetine, and it’s a side effect called dysgeusia. I realised that few days ago, while searching on google for weeks, because the list of side effects in the manual is almost infinite and any ADHD brain like mine can’t deal with those long lists.
Thanks for the heads-up. Part of me isn’t too surprised given how long some side-effects lists can get, but for the most part it didn’t occur to me that my taste getting funked up was potentially in the cards.
I’ve been on Adderall for maybe eight-so months now. It hasn’t perfectly resolved my challenges, but things have been much better compared to taking nothing. My psych recently asked that I start taking my blood pressure to send that in, and it looks like it’s elevated. I’m doing what I can to bring it down, but given my understanding, I won’t see results until later. I think I’ll be okay if I’m put on a different medication, but I’ll admit it’s not fun to think about.
Doing pretty good now, just finally got it confirmed that I have ADHD which is a big relief to know since it means I can be put on medication in the next month or so.
Great news! Heard it can take ages to get a diagnosis, must be a weight off your mind
Yep, it took going for a private place for diagnosis since the waiting list for the NHS for mental health anything is so long so it is a big relief. It’ll be even bigger once I’m on meds and can actually function too.
I found out I have ADHD after I graduated college. And I brought it up to a psychiatrist a long time ago, back in high school. It was relieving and a little annoying at the same time haha
Yeah I wish I got diagnosed when I was a kid, I even had multiple referrals to child mental health services that were all denied due to ‘lack of need’, with the end result being my childhood ruined and me with severe social anxiety and severe depression.
