My wife and I are 31, no kids yet. We moved from a major city back to our home state and are struggling to make friends here.
We keep an eye on meetup postings and Facebook events, stuff like that, no luck. We went to a local board game night and it was all elderly people. Nothing wrong with that but not exactly what we’re looking for.
Where we lived before we attended a church we liked and met people there, but churches in our area are a lot different/more political than we’re used to.
I guess eventually we’ll have kids and meet other parents, but how do we make friends now at this stage in our lives?
We used to go to a bar to play darts on Tuesday nights and started seeing the same people there each week. Same with trivia nights. I’m in Texas and there are some groups here called 'sports and social clubs". They do bowling leagues, kick ball games, beer pong tournaments, etc.
Going to a local ish (not entirely tourist) bar at the same time every week is a good one!
You mentioned trying board games, any interest in TTRPGs like Dungeons and Dragons and the like? The game is basically designed to forge friendships. If you or your partner is willing to learn to be the Dungeon Master, you’ll have no trouble finding players, in fact you may have so many interested individuals you have to do brief interviews lol.
I love D&D and she’s interested in trying it. This could be a good prospect.
Awesome! Let me know if you have any questions about DM’ing. I highly recommend Matt Colville’s Running the Game series. You absolutely don’t have to watch it all. If you watch the first three real episodes (Your first adventure, Your first session, and Running your first dungeon) you’ll be set!
Maybe try attending a volunteer or town social event. A library might have info or postings for things going on. See if there are ways to help set up and/or get involved.
so… i second TTRPG events. or similar. Also, group dancing classes at a studio. usually it’s not horribly old people (kinda hard to dance with a walker…sorry.) but there might be a broad spectrum of ages, so definitely ask before you just buy a session.
Have you two tried swinging? You’ll meet a lot of exciting people that way. How do you guys look like?
I was thinking of replying that as a joke but shit, it sounds like you’re serious…
Haha. Im totally kidding… unless you aren’t…
Now aren’t we in a pickle? How ever do we find out?..
She is beautiful and I am short, fat, and ugly. I don’t think swinging would work out for me.
You’d be surprised! Don’t sell yourself short.
All our friends are from kink communities lol.
Find some team sports, like volleyball.
Local team sports are really good ways to meet new people, and since it’s all about teamwork, bonds form pretty naturally. Plus it’s good to exercise!
Sporting clubs and club style gyms. I used to powerlift at a club and met lots of people.
Jodel App
LOL yeah good luck with that! Short answer: it probably ain’t happening. That’s the hard truth.
Rekindle old friendships. Every time you do something together, plant a seed for the next thing you’re going to do. Meet new people through them. If you like the people, don’t say no to anything you’re invited to. Rinse, repeat.
There are 5 problems with this question:
Dating and marriage requires a “double coincidence of wants” where both you and your wife want to commit. (This is the whole reason that we stopped bartering because barting requires this for every transaction, and it sucks)
Your problem has a requirement of a quadruple councidence of wants: you, your wife, your friend, and your friend’s partner need to commit. That is 4 problems.
Additionally you are over age 30. Once you pass that age, people are generally of the attitude of “relationship maintenance”. So new friends are considered costly investments that have ongoing costs. (New Friends are neighbors or friends of your children/hobbies)
Here is a joke: why did Julius Caesar get stabbed? Because he thought he could have a friend after age 30.
Here is another joke:what miracle did Jesus perform that cannot be replicated? He made 12 sincere lifelong friends after the age of 30.
Loneliness is a contributor to early death and there are tonnes of products that want you to buy to alieve. Good luck!
Not seen anyone say this yet, but last year my partner and I were in a similar boat. Bumble (the dating app) has a “BFF” mode for making friends. It’s worked out amazingly for us and we now have a great group.
It can take a bit of persistence, and like dating, some won’t work out. But it’s a great way to meet potential friends, and even in relatively small cities you’ll find some people on there.
Have kids. Thats how you make friends. But be warned, every year you lose a little energy, and tots take a lot of it.
