Do we just live and suffer and die?
The universe exists and is beautiful. We exist to appreciate and explore that beauty. It sounds like you had wonderful experiences with your cat and both you and your cat benefitted from your shared time. It’s important to remember that getting that time and those memories were worth the pain of parting.
My cat died April 16th, 2023. Had a few, never have another. Can I share my story? I swear there’s a point at the end.
Adopted her from a local redditor, who had only had her a month. She was always tiny, but at some point, cancer wasted her overnight. By the time I noticed her collar falling off her 1.5" neck it was too late. We found her dead in the hallway the next night.
She sat on my lap every night, and that’s all she wanted, simple affection. I was single and living alone, excepting a friend with benefits across the street, I was terribly alone. She was my solace, my peace. She was my friend, not an animal, not a pet, my friend. And gods how I cried because I felt I had let my dear friend down. Hell, crying now.
“WHY?!”, I screamed. Why was such a blameless and harmless friend dead when I’ve done such evil in life?! I’ve tried to be one of the good guys, but I’ve done bad things. She had no concept of evil, she just was, and only asked for comfort. Call it survivor guilt, guess it is. But a life like hers clearly deserved more life than my tainted soul.
She didn’t do any of the typical cat meme stuff, just kinda hung around. Rarely left the yard, just sat in the shadow of my truck when it was hot, chilled inside when it was cold. Always low energy, but no issues the vet could point to.
Anyway, I buried her out at my personal chunk of swamp in the boonies. Fought for 30 minutes to cut through cypress roots, but I wanted her to rest in a nice shady spot by the water. Literal blood, sweat and tears getting that tiny grave open. Didn’t think anyone would give a shit, but my friends all rolled out. I’m the guy in the cowboy hat. I salute her grave every time I pass.
Mom died 2-weeks ago, on my birthday. I cried for that cat far more than for her. I get you. I feel you. LOL, I’m sure mom cried more for the death of her mountain lions than she would have for me. So it goes.
So yeah, we live and we die. Our friends and family die. Suffering? I dunno. Did my cat suffer? She certainly did for at least some of her life. But she certainly didn’t after I got her. At least she was as happy as I knew how to make her.
Suffering is only possible if you’re alive. Hell, we could be atoms embedded in a Jovian moon, but at least we’re here to feel. And that’s pretty fucking wild if you think about it. I’ve suffered like hell, but I’ve also experienced and loved more than the vast majority of humans ever will. (And if you looked at our pics, the little Asian woman is now my wife. Funny how life works out.) If I died tonight, I’d call it a win. Being alive is a fabulous gift, even though it has its downsides.
How about you tell us about your cat? Your turn OP. Step up and let us have it.
I truly appreciate your story because I’ve been there. Had my best friend for 13 years - the cat who would be waiting by the door when I got home from work, who would cry out in the house if she didn’t know what room I was in. The one who was always on my lap and who slept right next to me snuggled up against me in bed at night. She was the perfect cat and friend, and even though it’s been 8 years, I still think about her on an almost daily basis.
I love how you gave your friend such a loving and caring place to rest. I’m sending you random internet stranger hugs and good vibes. <3
Man, I can’t believe I’m still crying about a fucking cat. But you get me.
She was always there. She was there when I was so very lonely and depressed. She wasn’t bitchy or loud or insistent, she just appeared on my lap when I finally sat down for the evening.
Check the videos I posted, those are people who never gave a shit about a cat and loved her dearly. I know, they came to the funeral for me, those events are always for the survivors, but still, they had words.
Glad OP posted this so we could all share, get it out some.
What’s wrong about crying about a cat? It’s like losing a family member after all.
I lost my cat two years ago and miss her dearly. We vowed no more pets but as time went on we missed having a pet. So we got another cat.
It’s hard when the end feels so cruel but having years of joy outweighs the weeks of sadness.
I’m sorry for your loss, bud. I lost my dog last week in a similar way. I took her in for a routine tooth cleaning, they found a mass in her abdomen, and her body wasn’t strong enough to recover from the anesthesia 😞.
She was so young, and as you point out, so incontrovertibly innocent. It’s been a difficult time this week accepting that she’s suddenly gone from my and my partner’s life.
A friend shared this with me and it’s been “living rent free” as they say.
Time is an illusion that makes things make sense,
So we’re always living in the present tense.
It seems so unforgiving when a good thing ends,
But you and I will always be back then.
Here’s to animal friends making us our most human selves.
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Yes, you are correct on broad terms. Life has no objective meaning. It has a lot of subjective meaning, though.
You loved your cat and your cat loved you. You wouldn’t be upset about this if those two things weren’t true. Does that matter in the grand scheme of things? No, but it matters to you and it mattered to your cat.
I understand where you’re coming from. I have lived in despair after friends, family, and pets have “moved on”. It never gets easier, and I am tearing up thinking about the many moments like this that I have experienced, and the many more that I will experience.
It’s probably very hard to hear right now, but you should soldier through this. You don’t have to, but there are a lot of relationships that you will experience that you don’t even know about yet. There are people and pets that you haven’t met yet or that haven’t even been born yet who you will have an impact on, and who will have an impact on you.
And though this kind of loss is not something that a human can ever really leave behind, one day you will understand it, and you’ll leave a comment like this one. And you’ll know that every relationship we have is valuable (in one way or another) and worth sticking around to experience.
Life is meaningless, but only on a grand scale. The pain you’re feeling now only tells you that life is worth experiencing, even if it doesn’t really mean anything in the end.
RIP to your cat. You probably won’t ever really, “get over” the loss, but this relationship has helped you understand how to love.
We live for no other reason than that we can. Against all odds, in a universe that wasn’t trying to make us alive, we became more than the sum of our elements that compose us: to be the thinking and thriving things that we are - for as long as we are. Life itself is an act of defiance against the universe, but ultimately playing by it’s rules with the understanding that we can only do so for a finite amount of time.
Your cat too was one of those defiant and emergent souls that used the universe as it’s playground full of strangers, bullies, and friends alike. Never forget that which it did not know: that its time was short but miraculous in the grand scheme of a universe borne of chaos but twinkling with unexpected life.
I’m sorry. We just got back from taking a cat we loved to be cremated.
Do we just live and suffer and die?
Yep, that’s pretty much it as far as I can tell.
The living part can be good sometimes. There’s cheese and purring. But living suffering and dieing pretty much covers it.
If you find comfort in words and ideas, I found the chinese text called the Zhuangzi helped me come to accept the world with less bitterness. It’s quite funny and thoughtful, silly and logical.
“Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies - God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”
― Kurt Vonnegut
“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt”. Kurt Vonnegut had some great words!
Life is change. It’s literally the only thing you can 100% depend on. Once you accept that, not fear it, just accept it, you can move on to the great things that are here and now in the present.
We live to produce value for the shareholders
Yes and no. On one (nihilistic) hand, you live to die. The other hand (the better one) is that you give your own meaning to live. Fill in the spaces between the living, dying, and suffering parts, to make them seem insufficient in comparison. Just like the time you spent with your cat.
Nothing makes either side any less true - it’s all up to interpretation. For your mental health, though, it’s better to follow the latter.
You gave your cat years of love, how can all that be meaningless? It will be a sad day when my 19yr old buddy passes but I’m grateful for his love everyday and happy I can love him back. Death is inevitable but life is what you make of it.
I think we don’t really appreciate time until we know it ends. Unfortunately, we outlive some animals, but we get to enjoy time with them and doing everything possible to make their life better.
I lost my dog last year, it was rough. My family wasn’t there, I had to go by myself and the vet couldn’t do more to save her, but I was there, she wasn’t alone, she never was. I always watched her, played with her, even danced with her because she was very tall. I remember the first time I saw that she couldn’t peek at the window anymore, she was getting old and fragile and she couldn’t get up, I realized that I could only give her all the love I could, but I distanced myself some days from her because I didn’t wanna suffer her loss, I was afraid of what was going to come in the next months.
After some time, I realized I was being very selfish because I would remember all the love I had for her, but she would remember how in her last months I abandoned her, and I couldn’t let that happen. My love for her, my time with her; our time together was what make some parts of my life great! She made me feel better a lot of times and I always reciprocated.
I think one of the points of life, at least mine, is to make other lives better, that includes to help all the animals I can, even if I’ll have to suffer when they’re gone, because they will be happy all the time they lived.
Yes. Maybe enjoy things too. The universe is meaningless and we’re here by accident.
The only question is what to do about it.
Anyway, sorry about your cat. I’m sure it lived as nice a life as possible.
Maybe not for you, but for some of us, we would help to look into Buddhism and its Four Noble Truths.
Very simplistic tl;dr is that
- All life involves suffering.
- We suffer because we want things to be other than the way they are.
- We can become free from suffering if we no longer want things to be other than the way they are.
- The Eightfold Path can lead one to reach 3.
I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for giving your cat a good life, and I hope they gave you memories to cherish too.
When my dog died a few months ago, I cried harder than I had in probably 15 years on and off for a solid week. It’s brutal. But I promise it will get a little more bearable as time passes. Doesn’t feel like it right now, but it will. And the best part is that it’s not like they just disappear from your life. It will become more bearable, and the tragedy will give way to wonderful memories that you share over and over.
Same… its been 11 months. Best friends for over 15 years and then cancer wrecked her far too slowly.
Similar to when my cat died. I’m still sad 2 years later, but the memories are fond and when I see a photo of her it brings me more joy than sadness. I know I gave her the best life and I continue to do the same for my current pets. Yes life is short and feels fleeting, but if I could give my cat the life I gave her a second time , I’d do it again every time.
Yes
