I like women. I like the shape and curves of the female body. I like boobs, I like asses, I like pretty vaginas. I also appreciate and am aroused by a nice cock. I’m however not otherwise attracted to the male body. I like femboys as long as they have a feminine-like shape and curves, as many of them do.
WTF is my sexual orientation?
I long ago decided that is humans aren’t attracted to “male” or “female”, we’re attracted to “masculinity” or “femininity”. Gender has nothing to do with it.
It’s why, like you, I can be attracted to a feminine looking trans woman, but not a masculine looking one, or a dude.
it’s why homosexuals can be masculine or feminine (bear or boujee), and be attracted to one or three other, or both.
Masculinity and feminity has nothing to do with whether one has a cock or a vagina.
Masculinity and femininity are broad terms that encompass physical and social traits. I don’t think it’s possible to narrow it down quite like you have there.
My own experience of attraction has very little to do with social presentation of masculinity or femininity for example.
deleted by creator
Straight+
Straight Extra
Bi minus
Bi lite
Or just dont label it. Labels keep us in boxes and boxes cause stress when we inevitably find out we dont fit in the box.
I came up with this idea err metaphor? Thought experiment? Anyway
Think of the shape of a 6 point star. If you are star shaped you will fit perfectly, if you are triangle shaped you will also fit, or if you are diamond shaped or a circle or a hexagon or many many other shapes.
But only a star fits perfectly.
(Heres a crude drawing of it)
You can spend years in the star box thinking its a perfect fit before you realise theres something different, something not quite right and you suddenly see that you were a triangle the whole time.
Just let go of the labels and be you, its alot more spacious outside of the box, and you dont have to be a certain way to fit in.
Very similar position here.
I’ve always felt that it wasn’t anyone’s business but my own and the person I want to touch. I don’t worry about putting myself in a box so I don’t wear a label.
Those that “need” to know are told that I am “independent”. What does that mean to me? It means I decide who I want to fool around with. Sex is more than just tabs and slots.
Although I have found that this answer is unacceptable to nearly everyone, so I can’t say I recommend it.
Although I have found that this answer is unacceptable to nearly everyone, so I can’t say I recommend it.
This is just my view but if my nebulous sexual orientation is a turn off for someone then I’m perfectly happy to have them express themselves early so I can block them and move on. I’d rather fuck people I like and who like me.
I know this dates me but I was in serious relationships before gay marriage was legalized in the US… It was an excellent screening topic because the rabid opponents to it couldn’t keep their mouth shut and I’d be able to abort my evening early and not waste time… sort of like Trump hats today - if a waiter is walking me to a table with someone in a Trump hat I’ll just tip them and ask them to let the person know I called the restaurant and couldn’t make it.
I’m with you, (not on dicks but on my approach to sexuality). I’ll gladly decide what kind of person I want to fuck on a case-by-case basis, but it’s really not a big part of my personality. Statistically, I’m straight, but if I sorted everyone in the world by how much I wanted to fuck them, some dudes would find themselves ahead of some girls. There’s not enough of those cases for me to bother dating guys, but you know
You’re a straight guy who likes getting fucked. This is way more common than you’d think and shouldn’t be a big deal in a healthy society.
Sounds like you are very similar to me and a billion or so other people. I don’t see much point in creating a label for yourself in order to restrict yourself to that label. You are what you are and don’t worry about it. I had a thing with a trans woman for a while and now I’m happily married with kids. Whatever I am has never had a negative affect on my life because I don’t worry about what I am.
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn’t work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: [email protected]
If you want to know where I stand, my trans boyfriend came out a long time into our long distance relationship and he wanted surgery. I was a bit torn on the idea, but what really sold me was that he was gonna have a dick if he did surgery. THAT was cool with me, and likewise with the body shape thing. Boobs, ass, vagina, dick is all good with me, balls included.
And the cool thing is? He’s having second thoughts on it now that he’s moved in with me and away from their parents. Given the freedom to choose gender identity regardless of their body, they are a lot happier and don’t need to pigeonhole themselves into a sexual/gender stereotype. I, for one, don’t care. His sexual orientation is demisexual due to need for emotional connection, whilst mine is pansexual(?) because I honestly don’t care. He does it for me and that’s great.
It might be comforting to know that pansexual as a label exists and that your preferences are shared with others. You might find quite the assortment of… 2d images online. By the ratios it’s 8:5:1 for female bodies:male bodies:female bodies with dicks. Really, it’s not that uncommon. You might find even more freedom once you find the people that give you the liberty to truly own my desires. Feel free to interact with femboys, strapon girls, intersex people, whatever and wherever. Your sexual arousal needs no words to justify itself.
Thank you for asking this. I’m the same way but never got around to asking. I also like trans women as well (not just sexual), so there’s that. Best of both worlds imo lol
Gay or bi
My interpretation is you enjoy looking at it the same way you enjoy watching other people have fun. You know what it’s pleasure feels like so it’s familiar. I suspect this is also a driving factor for a preference for anal porn. Men don’t know what it’s like to have vagina, but they’ve got some key similarities to a female ass in sensation (that’s not a joke about a butt being a butt, the vagina and clitoris has nerve endings that are stimulated during anal).
the joy of scrolling through everything feed
Me too. Alllll the way to the bottom of Lemmy we go …
Mac from it’s always sunny.
Strictly speaking, that’s simply bisexual. Femboys are boys. That being said, there is no “correct” answer here that anyone else can give you.
The correct label is the one that helps you navigate the world and your own needs the best. If bisexual fits, congrats, that’s it. If it doesn’t, it’s not, and your search continues :)
Its not bisexual, assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women, or bi men and bi women.
It also is not pansexual, as there’s clearly /I don’t actually have equal sexual attraction to literally anyone/ going on.
I am actually like this too, have been for a long time.
Now, I do not want to presume to speak for this person, so the rest of this is just me.
Maybe they can chime in and agree or disagree.
Absolutely not attracted to men, of any kind of presentation.
But… I’d love to fall in love with a woman who could peg me, or a transwoman. I’d fellatio a transwoman’s unit no problem. But not a gay man, or a bi man.
So… by that, we’ve got what used to be called basically a kinky guy?
And while I am an lgtbq ally (or arguably member), Ive always been comfortable with my own male body, and basically present as a cis male.
So, its some new kind of sexuality/gender there is not really a name for yet.
At least for me, it isn’t femboy, as I have 0 interest in being essentially a feminine cross dresser with very submissive personality traits and cutesy uwu affectations.
I have nothing against femboys, but I personally would not be interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with one.
assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women
Bisexual doesn’t mean that… Bisexual means someone who is attracted to two or more genders…
At least for me, it isn’t femboy
The OP explicitly said they’re attracted to femboys, so their experience is different to yours.
The only person who can say whether bisexual is the right label for the OP though is the OP. But if they feel it fits, it fits exactly the experience they’ve described.
Hrm, every self professed bi person I’ve ever met described themselves the way I described them as, likewise with every pan person.
Didn’t realize the the definition of bi had changed.
Today I Learned, I guess.
I’d call that polysexual, if it means attraction to 2+ genders, though I get that the term comes from back before gender itself was really widely critically analyzed.
And of course polysexual would be confused with polyamorous.
But yes, you are correct this is the modern definition, so I guess I am bi then.
But I’d never like identify openly as bi, because, again, everyone I’ve ever met /not on the internet/ would think that means I like dudes and gals.
I’ve never met a bi person who insisted that they’re attraction to the genders were equal. Many had preferences (mostly into women, but defintely go with certain guys) and many had phases (more into men today, but was previously crushing hard on that girl). It’s one of the commonly talked about sources of bianxiety, that you can go through a period where you start thinking “am I really bi? Maybe I’m just straight / gay” and then you see someone and remember “no, I’m totally bi”. Bi erasure is such a thing it even effects bi folks! (source am bi, have lots of bi friends)
Bi has never meant “equal attraction.” Have you not heard of the Kinsey Scale? There are multiple levels of bisexuality.
Ah, yes, I have. I shouldn’t have phrased it as equal attraction, perhaps, ‘willingness to sexually engage with either sex’.
Though isn’t the Kinsey Scale now woefully out of date anyway, as it comes from research in the America of 1948 and 1953, only considering essentially men and women, and hetero and homosexuality, when it is now understood that gender is actually distinct from sex?
It hasn’t. The bisexual manifesto, going back to 1990 for example, said the following
Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or dougamous in nature; that we must have “two” sides or that we MUST be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.
Huh, I hadn’t read it. Everyone I know / knew who identified as bi in the 00s or 10s explained it to me as I said, and that does seem to be the general public understanding of the term by anyone Ive talked to in person in the last 5 years or so.
Ive also had self professed pan people explain bisexuality to me as I originally described it as recently as 2 years ago.
And that is ultimately why everyone gets to pick their own labels irrelevant of discussions like the one we’re having. It’s all subjective and malleable over time!
Absofuckinglutely, in particular there’s far too much assumption out there that bi people must be poly - it’s a large portion of why I shifted my chosen label to pan… that and because there was briefly a strong anti-trans bisexual movement.
Bisexual is defined as attraction to more than one gender, where gender is a component of the attraction. So if you 96% like one gender, 3% another, and 1% yet another, that’s bi. If you’re 60/40, that’s bi too. Bi = multiple genders where gender plays a factor. It has never meant only 50/50.
Pansexual is attraction to people where gender doesn’t play a role. Pansexuals’ patterns may look like a bisexual’s patterns because they date across genders, but the attraction matrix is different.
Finsexual (Gynesexual) is attracted to feminine traits generally. Whether penis or vagina, it is the femininity they like. I can speak to this as this is me. I like feminity, not necessarily women particularly. I use bisexual as shorthand because most people “get” that.
Solid definitions:
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Bisexual
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Pansexual
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/FinsexualFinsexual
200% blahaj
I wouldn’t say bisexual makes sense categorically for anyone who dislikes half of the masculinity/femininity spectrum. I mean it is a bit different with femboys, but I also suspect attraction there is very superficial (esp. if the look uses silicone body stuff) and likely wouldn’t work as much in-person especially on a relationship level.
There is the term gynephilia, though I also don’t expect something like that to be casually mentioned/understood/accepted. In which case, no good answer I guess.
I wouldn’t say bisexual makes sense categorically for anyone who dislikes half of the masculinity/femininity spectrum.
Bisexual is simply someone that is attracted more than one gender. Nothing to do with masculinity or femininity, so in this case, as I said, it’s a perfectly acceptable label. But if it doesn’t help the OP navigate the world or understand themselves, then it’s not the right label for them. If gynephilia does help them, then that’s the right term.
I think Hetroflexable is more of a fit for OP
