At age 92.
From a gunshot wound.
Fired by an outraged husband.
deleted by creator
With unfinished business, I get to hang around as a ghost for another couple of hundred years.
In all seriousness though, preferable on my own terms. Maybe euthanasia at an old age, where I feel like I’ve lived enough and just want to move on. I’d celebrate life with my partner (if they’re still alive) and our children, wish them the best with everything and then… exit. Though, knowing my partner (and myself), it’d probably be a double euthanasia when we’re both ready for it. I couldn’t bear to give that kind of farewell to them and I doubt they’d be any different.
In any case, the last thing I want is to be clinging on to life with every last ounce of my strength and have a miserable couple of last years because of it. Especially if it means I’d be a burden to everyone around me in the process.
Instantly somehow. Or in some kind of heroic last stand situation.
Completely unaware of my impending fate, in some way that my cats will have uninterrupted care.
So, in your sleep and then they eat your face while they wait for housekeeping?
If my cats eat me after I’m dead, what do I care? And I’ve actually discussed this with my friends and they know I’m okay with it and not to blame the cats.
Oh, I didn’t think you were! It’s just I know that with wild animals, they’ll kill them if they say humans, and I’ve known people who are squicked out by the idea of having a pet that might’ve eaten someone. And I wanted to (a) let my friends know if was okay with me and (b) feel out their opinions in case someone would be squicked out of it happened. I know that is incredibly unlikely to ever happen, but it is a possibility and I wanted to account for that in whatever arrangements I set up for the cats.
At the age of 69 while 69’ing
Last night would have been great, had the best ending possible.
Like, as long as it is quick and riding a high.
In a submarine deep in an ocean trench or near a big blast, worst case nitrogen gas with an opiate and maybe a little bzd twist
At the same time as my wife after my daughter has established herself and no longer needs us. I don’t want to be here, but they need me right now. As soon as they don’t, I’m out.
Your children will always need you.
I hope not, because that ruins my plan.
With the heat death of the universe in some full dive vr utopia.
200+mph
Oblivious.
With peace of mind that my family will be ok.
Death by snu snu
Well you probably starve to death lost in a giant space neandertal’s vagina. Probably not as good as you think.
Not going to lie, I’m hard right now.
Thank you, SatansMaggotyCumFart, for your substantial contribution.
Sorry to disappoint but it’s very small.
Like a little mushroom in a shag carpet even when erect.
in one-on-one combat with a God while stealing something forbidden for humanity… if that’s still a thing…
All you are going to get is tied to a rock for eternity, with an eagle feeding on your liver.
Until a group of elderly men in loincloths show up and hand you a sword.